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Why Bodybuilding is bad

Kae'Yoss

First Post
When Dungeon Masters waste their time in the gym, lifting weights and such, they don't have enough time building worlds or adventures. In the end, the game consists of the DM sitting there in his undies, oiled, showing off his abs, and the players get XP for properly naming the name of the muscles and what kind of workouts train them.
 

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pawsplay

Banned
Banned
On the other hand, too little bodybuilding can be just as bad, as your tragically unfit DM strains his heart lifting a stack of 3.5 sourcebooks and keels over dead in the middle of a session.
 



Harmon

First Post
I disagree.

At the height of my best GMing I was in the best shape of my life (course I wasn't going to the gym). Running a couple miles a day after packing lumber up three flights of stairs, working ten and twelve hour days five days a week, building forms, framing, and tying wire cages all day/week gave me lots of time to day dream about how to handle campaigns on the weekends.

Now that I have time to work on campaigns a little I am no longer GMing, and I am in the worst shape of my life thus far. I'd love to start running again, but I can't right now, so I do leg lifts with leg weights, toss 12 lbs medicine ball from the floor to the cieling, and lots of crunches. Still no GMing. Why? Because all my daydreaming energy is spent on my daughter, trying to figure out how to repair damage to my father's relationship.

Its not about needing time to work on the campaign, its about needing time to day dream.
 

Festivus

First Post
And here I was thinking about RPG player health (related to the show us pictures of your group thread) and how there seems to be a large proportion of overweight folks who roll dice.

My thoughts:

1. Heavier dice. Make dice that weigh at least 5 Lbs. A level 10 Wizard casting fireball will be hefting 50 Lbs.
2. Wear actual armor... burn calories while playing your game by lifting weight at the same time as you play.
3. Tie the electrical power for the lights, laptop and any other electrical aids to a stationary excersise bike. The DM can sit here or see below:
4. Remove all chairs - Everyone always stands at my table once actual combat starts, why not just stand the entire time... in armor. If you want to sit, sit on the excercise bike and power the lights for a while.
5. Tie experience gains to weight loss... multiply exp by weight lost from last session (huge inspiration if you asked me).
6. Fire up the grill and make boneless, skinless chicken breast instead of hamburgers, fries, pizza, etc.
7. Shape tofu like doritos and bake them (they will never know the difference)
 



Kae'Yoss

First Post
Prince of Happiness said:
Have we met? How did you know I do that?

Saw the pictures on ismydmhotornot.com :p

Festivus said:
1. Heavier dice. Make dice that weigh at least 5 Lbs. A level 10 Wizard casting fireball will be hefting 50 Lbs.

That only means that save-or-die spells become even more popular. Beguilers would really shine, I'd guess. And you could blackmail the DM: "listen, buddy, either you give me that vest of the archmagi or I'll cast weird on the army"

3. Tie the electrical power for the lights, laptop and any other electrical aids to a stationary excersise bike. The DM can sit here or see below:

Heavy SDS* alert!

6. Fire up the grill and make boneless, skinless chicken breast instead of hamburgers, fries, pizza, etc.

I'm all for chicken breast. Healthy, tasty, and the only breast I'm getting. ;)


*Sweaty DM Syndrome
 

Stormborn

Explorer
A gym nearby recently changed its name to "Plane Fitness" which got my wife and I thinking about "Planar Fitness" and how you could market a gym to DnD players.

You could have work out gear that simulated wearing light, medium, or heavy armor, obstacle courses, martial arts and weapons classes, classes on health gaming snacks, Cardio-Larping, and of course to keep people motivated we would have trainers/recruiters. They come in two types, complete with costume: helpless elf maiden and drow priestess. The elf maidens motivate through positive reinforcement "Oh you are doing so well! Can't you do just one more for little old me? >bats eyes<" while the drow priestesses would motivate through negative reinforcement "You worthless pile of flab! How dare you even cast your eyes upon me! If I do not see 10 more reps I will fley your miserable excuse for a body!".

We figure no need to play to the female customer, males are the target audience. We can just offer a 50% discount to females and that should take care of most of our recruiting.
 

Stormborn said:
A gym nearby recently changed its name to "Plane Fitness" which got my wife and I thinking about "Planar Fitness" and how you could market a gym to DnD players.

You could have work out gear that simulated wearing light, medium, or heavy armor, obstacle courses, martial arts and weapons classes, classes on health gaming snacks, Cardio-Larping, and of course to keep people motivated we would have trainers/recruiters. They come in two types, complete with costume: helpless elf maiden and drow priestess. The elf maidens motivate through positive reinforcement "Oh you are doing so well! Can't you do just one more for little old me? >bats eyes<" while the drow priestesses would motivate through negative reinforcement "You worthless pile of flab! How dare you even cast your eyes upon me! If I do not see 10 more reps I will fley your miserable excuse for a body!".

We figure no need to play to the female customer, males are the target audience. We can just offer a 50% discount to females and that should take care of most of our recruiting.

Well, the gym that I work out in has a lot of...um.............faeries. They have obviously put their ability bonuses into Strength though.
 

Many professional bodybuilders are also plagued by hampered range of motion and general dexterity issues due to the large, bulky size of their muscles. I read once that many hard-core body sculptors are unable to comb their own hair because their arm muscles are so bulky they can't reach. This seems like it would be a major issue when dealing with dice or miniatures.
 

Kae'Yoss

First Post
Stormborn said:
A gym nearby recently changed its name to "Plane Fitness" which got my wife and I thinking about "Planar Fitness" and how you could market a gym to DnD players.

ALTERED TIME TRAIT! DO A 2-HOUR-WORKOUT IN 10 MINUTES!

LOW GRAVITY FOR BEGINNERS!

classes on health gaming snacks

Would those be base classes or prestige classes?

, Cardio-Larping, and of course to keep people motivated we would have trainers/recruiters.

DMs! Handing out XPs for exercises.

We figure no need to play to the female customer, males are the target audience. We can just offer a 50% discount to females and that should take care of most of our recruiting.

Just get Regdar to to show off his full attack routine and make some grapple check innuendo. ;)

Deset Gled said:
Many professional bodybuilders are also plagued by hampered range of motion and general dexterity issues due to the large, bulky size of their muscles. I read once that many hard-core body sculptors are unable to comb their own hair because their arm muscles are so bulky they can't reach. This seems like it would be a major issue when dealing with dice or miniatures.

Should work just fine.

"You! Roll my d20. And pray that you roll a crit, choir boy!"
 




I'm A Banana

Potassium-Rich
If'n ya ask me, a lot of the D&D stereotypes (e.g.: chubby rolly-polly nerd and scrawny weakling nerd) could use MORE time at the gym....;)
 

Boss

First Post
Hey, I was always worknig out as the DM. All through high school, I carried all of my school books as well as my 1st and/or 2nd edition books (depending on what year of school it was) in a single heavy duty gym bag. Almost a duffle bag in size. I would challenge other guys in my classes to pick uo the bag and carry it around for a few minutes.

Of course, I am now carrying another huge duffle bag over one shoulder with all my 3.5 books in it, and my laptop bag with all the extra gear in it on my other shoulder, and all I have gotten for it is chronic back problems.
 


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