Why Bodybuilding is bad

[Kae'Yoss]

When Dungeon Masters waste their time in the gym, lifting weights and such, they don't have enough time building worlds or adventures. In the end, the game consists of the DM sitting there in his undies, oiled, showing off his abs, and the players get XP for properly naming the name of the muscles and what kind of workouts train them.

 

[Prince of Happiness]

Have we met? How did you know I do that?

 

[pawsplay]

On the other hand, too little bodybuilding can be just as bad, as your tragically unfit DM strains his heart lifting a stack of 3.5 sourcebooks and keels over dead in the middle of a session.

 

[blargney the second]

*laugh*

 

[Prince of Happiness]

The Emperor, Gluteus Maximux *flex* has invited your party to CHECK OUT THE GUN SHOW! DA-DOOSH!!! *flex, flex*

 

[Harmon]

I disagree.

At the height of my best GMing I was in the best shape of my life (course I wasn't going to the gym). Running a couple miles a day after packing lumber up three flights of stairs, working ten and twelve hour days five days a week, building forms, framing, and tying wire cages all day/week gave me lots of time to day dream about how to handle campaigns on the weekends.

Now that I have time to work on campaigns a little I am no longer GMing, and I am in the worst shape of my life thus far. I'd love to start running again, but I can't right now, so I do leg lifts with leg weights, toss 12 lbs medicine ball from the floor to the cieling, and lots of crunches. Still no GMing. Why? Because all my daydreaming energy is spent on my daughter, trying to figure out how to repair damage to my father's relationship.

Its not about needing time to work on the campaign, its about needing time to day dream.

 

[Festivus]

And here I was thinking about RPG player health (related to the show us pictures of your group thread) and how there seems to be a large proportion of overweight folks who roll dice.

My thoughts:

1. Heavier dice. Make dice that weigh at least 5 Lbs. A level 10 Wizard casting fireball will be hefting 50 Lbs.
2. Wear actual armor... burn calories while playing your game by lifting weight at the same time as you play.
3. Tie the electrical power for the lights, laptop and any other electrical aids to a stationary excersise bike. The DM can sit here or see below:
4. Remove all chairs - Everyone always stands at my table once actual combat starts, why not just stand the entire time... in armor. If you want to sit, sit on the excercise bike and power the lights for a while.
5. Tie experience gains to weight loss... multiply exp by weight lost from last session (huge inspiration if you asked me).
6. Fire up the grill and make boneless, skinless chicken breast instead of hamburgers, fries, pizza, etc.
7. Shape tofu like doritos and bake them (they will never know the difference)

 

[Doug McCrae]

That's not bodybuilding as I define it. For me bodybuilding refers only to activity which builds muscles used during actual play.

 

[Darklone]

You guys didn't suffer yet if your DM isn't a girl.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Have we met? How did you know I do that?

Saw the pictures on ismydmhotornot.com

1. Heavier dice. Make dice that weigh at least 5 Lbs. A level 10 Wizard casting fireball will be hefting 50 Lbs.

That only means that save-or-die spells become even more popular. Beguilers would really shine, I'd guess. And you could blackmail the DM: "listen, buddy, either you give me that vest of the archmagi or I'll cast weird on the army"

3. Tie the electrical power for the lights, laptop and any other electrical aids to a stationary excersise bike. The DM can sit here or see below:

Heavy SDS* alert!

6. Fire up the grill and make boneless, skinless chicken breast instead of hamburgers, fries, pizza, etc.

I'm all for chicken breast. Healthy, tasty, and the only breast I'm getting.


*Sweaty DM Syndrome