Why must a loving soul be so alone...

[Darth K'Trava]

I always thought that niche was taken by Pier 1 Imports.

Not the locale for us lower-income female geeks... I end up usually at Walmart.

 

[Torm]

Am I alone in thinking that going to church with the express purpose to get chicks is ... wrong?

They're only trying to obey the FIRST command given to life - "Be fruitful, and multiply."

"Sister Christian, oh, the time has come....."

 

[DaveMage]

Haven't tried the 'chocolate mousse cheesecake' thing but that sounds awesome.

I read the book 'Be your own Dating Service' and the one thing that I really took from it was what DaveMage just said in #4.

She specifically said make a list of those traits that you absolutely must have in your partner to be happy, and make a list of those traits that you absolutely cannot have in a partner. Find and filter your potentials based off this. This can be a good exercise in self exploration and realizing what you really want and/need. Give it a try.

Exactly.

But you can't overdo it, either. Unfortunately, I know some single people who *have* done something like this, and they have so many requirements that, frankly, no one is likely to fit their bill.

 

[FreeXenon]

Exactly.

But you can't overdo it, either. Unfortunately, I know some single people who *have* done something like this, and they have so many requirements that, frankly, no one is likely to fit their bill.

Exactly, you need to be realistic and that will hopfully a result of the process and the self exploration. This might possibly help you to realize the things that are really important (to you) in a relationship or the things that really matter....

or not....

Everything is great.... in moderation.

 

[Storm Raven]

Am I alone in thinking that going to church with the express purpose to get chicks is ... wrong?

Probably not. But on the other hand, he's looking for companionship, and given his assertions about what he's looking for, he's looking for something more than a "quickie hookup". He's looking for a relationship, and church is a good place to start - women who go to church who are single are usually looking for a relationship type connection in their lives, and not a random hookup.

As to "there are only old people at church", it depends on the church you attend. In many urban/suburban areas there are community type churches that attract a much younger crowd, and have quite a few activities to participate in. Plus, it's a great place to meet people, and one of the most imprtant things in getting a relationship is to generate a social life, then your circle of friends expands, and then you meet more people, and the chances you will meet someone to become involved with increase.

Life is all about timing and luck. Make sure you increase your chances that good timing and luck will find you by placing yourself in the position that it might as much as possible.

 

[Hijinks]

I did not want to be a total ass because she told me in the past she was assulted a few times, so I had to be real careful.

Someone needs to explain to this girl that climbing into a male friend's bed in nothing but his t-shirt and panties, and NOT expecting to be assaulted, is naive. Not that many men would take advantage of such a situation, but that is rather forward for a platonic relationship. And since she was allowing you to put your hands on her AT ALL, it sounds like she was intentionally being a tease. No wonder she was assaulted!!

Young women do sometimes lie and stretch the truth to get sympathy and attention. I know, I used to be one. Not that women who say they were sexually assaulted are ever liars, I would never say that, but I want to go back in time, show up in your bedroom, and thwap that woman on the forehead for ever saying "Oh I was assulated a few times," while she cuddles up to you in panties and a t-shirt. Puh-leeze! That's just .. just .. WRONG!

 

[Kanegrundar]

Fruk, I was in your situation for several years after college. Thanks to dating some surprisingly religious and misinformed girls I was really wary about dating anyone for fear that they would discover my hobbies and have a religious coniption fit followed by running for the door. (One girl took one look at my books and left. That did a lot for my self esteem...) However, I am now engaged to a great gal that loves me for every bit of who I am (though she thinks I spend too much on gaming when I don't get to play hardly ever any more).

Here's what worked for me. Match.com. Seriously, it may take a few tries, but the hits will come. Just be honest without coming off as needy or weird in your profile. Put up a good pic and then start winking at anyone that sounds interesting. Before long you will get a bite. From then on, just be yourself. Listen, be honest, be open (but not too open since no one needs to know everyone's life story right out the gate), and be thoughtful. Play to your strengths, brag up the things you're good at or proud of a little bit. Simply be confident.

I will tell you I dated two other people from Match and they were horrendous. There are a lot of people lying about themselves there, but after a bit you'll be able to kinda sense the sincere people from the freaks. My fiance was the thrid gal I met through Match and we've been together now for almost a year and a half. It can happen, it just takes some time. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's the truth.

Best of luck,
Kane

 

[Desdichado]

Young women do sometimes lie and stretch the truth to get sympathy and attention. I know, I used to be one. Not that women who say they were sexually assaulted are ever liars, I would never say that, but I want to go back in time, show up in your bedroom, and thwap that woman on the forehead for ever saying "Oh I was assulated a few times," while she cuddles up to you in panties and a t-shirt. Puh-leeze! That's just .. just .. WRONG!

Exactly. I don't know if I'd do a Teflon Billy and call her a cab right then, but I wouldn't stay in bed with her then, and I wouldn't see her again, that's for sure.

 

[Kanegrundar]

Exactly. I don't know if I'd do a Teflon Billy and call her a cab right then, but I wouldn't stay in bed with her then, and I wouldn't see her again, that's for sure.

Here here. Alarm bells would be going off like wildfire in my head. My next move would be to get her the heck out of my house quickly and forget it ever happened.

Kane

 

[Torm]

I want to go back in time, show up in your bedroom, and thwap that woman on the forehead for ever saying "Oh I was assulated a few times," while she cuddles up to you in panties and a t-shirt. Puh-leeze! That's just .. just .. WRONG!

Not to mention adding, "Please get out of my Van Halen T-Shirt before you jinx the band and they break up!"

I had sort of the opposite problem when I was 15 - my cousin and his wife were staying with us while trying to get back on their financial feet. He worked nights, and his (very cute) wife kept coming into my room at night dressed in nothing but panties and a t-shirt to "talk", including a few times when I woke up with her sleeping in my bed next to me that way. The reason I say opposite is because it was more than obvious she WAS making herself available, but I fortunately had enough sense to take no part of that.