Women Gamers vs. PCs/DMs Significant Others

[Berandor]

When, in her first session, she said, "I grab my sword and hack the orc to pieces!", I knew she was a gamer.

 

[Ranes]

Over the years, the majority of women I've met in games groups have been there because of SOs. A couple of years ago, however, I started running games for an old (gamer) friend's two teenage step-daughters. They had had no prior experience of anything other than computer gaming. I introduced them to D&D and now they both look forward to our somewhat intermittent games. If they come to visit my neck of the woods, and I don't have an adventure ready to run, I am subjected to juvenile verbal abuse. And this after I did a tpk on them!

 

[Afrodyte]

You haven't asked for women who have always been gamers independently of SOs, but I'll chime in on such an interesting topic. To be quite honest, I do not know when I first got into gaming, but I recall that it had much less to do with some boy than it did with being imaginative and wanting to explore different things.

 

[Psion]

Anyway, I was just wondering how many of you know women that joined the game of their own volition... so, how many of you have women that you cannot distinguish as so-and-sos wife/girlfriend... the types that joined the game "for love of the game," as opposed to "for love of their husbands"?

Well, right now I am down to one woman in my group though a few months ago I had three). All of them, however, were "there to game" and if the situation warranted, came without their husband.

I do remember long ago a girl or two that was obviously there because they had an interest in the game, but that was mostly high school girls. I've never seen a grown woman who was not really into the game join "just because of a guy."

My wife, who is more of a board gamer, has joined in on occasion, but more to be social than anything else. She really doesn't "get" the "roleplaying" or "picture it in your head" aspect.

 

[Acid_crash]

The only two times I played in a game with a girl was when I started and the DM's wife was there, but we could tell she wasn't into it, and my wife, who really isn't into it either. both just wanted to do what their guy was doing to spend more time with them.

 

[Algolei]

I have known three women who played the game solely for the sake of playing the game, and (hmm let's see now...) five women who have played at least in part because they wanted to do stuff with "their guy." That's out of dozens and dozens of players total.

I feel my experiences have involved a less than average number of female gamers, however. During two conventions, I noticed many of the groups were composed of significant percentages of lasses, whereas my groups.... *sigh*

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

Wow. It's so cool that all of you guys (and you few women) have had such awesome experiences with your women gamers... I have met in my not-so-many years of gaming a whole bunch of women who game just because their boyfriends do... and, generally, it is a *huge* mess.

Granted, I am a youngster... but, I have watched a lot of women try to play for the sake of their SO's hobby and - despite their initial interest - putter off... and, in at least one case, that puttering meant the loss of the woman, as well as the man.
Realistically, I have no problem with admitting that the only reason I stuck with the game is because Kennon (the man I would eventually marry) was *A Gamer.*

I have 3 women in my group (including myself). One of which games because she loves it - met her current boyfriend in our group. The other joined with her then boyfriend (now husband) at the same time... he had gamed before, but hadn't in some time... and now, she's WAY more into it than he is... at times, I wonder if he would play if it wasn't for her... (Kat and Greg, you're both my favorites!!!)

With so many responses like those so far, I do wonder why the distinction ("SO of this guy") is made so often when talking about the women in games... if you read through treads, it happens all the time-- Eric as a specific reference was simply what triggered me to ask about it because I have seen/heard it so often.

 

[Blue]

In the game I run, I have one woman and five men as players. The woman is the wife of one of the other players, and I'm fairly sure her interest in gaming was prior to them getting together. She's more active then him in LARPing.

In a game I play in we also have one woman gamer, a friend of one of the long time players.

Thinking about gaming groups that I've played with, any new player is a good friend of an existing player to get invited in the first place. With mostly men playing (especially since we're old farts who have been playing forever and it used to be even more statified), it seems that there is a good chance since only close friends get invited that many of the women close friends can also be significant others of the players.

As a side note on women gamers, I've got an audience of two for many sessions I run. People who don't play, but do like to watch. (*shrug* I don't understand it, but they say they have fun.) Both are women, one is the girlfriend of one player, and the other a coworker of the female player. (Who says "It's just like the Dragonlance books!")

Cheers,
=Blue

 

[fredramsey]

My wife was willing to try, but at first was VERY nervous, not even wanting to play in more than one campaign at a time because she did not want to be "confused". That was a little over a year ago. She's still not completely confident, but loves the social aspect of the game(s). She has even branched out and tried spellcasting: wizard in one campaign and a sorceress in another.

So there is her, another wife that has played for quite a while, even LARPs, and 2 single girls who I bet got into gaming on their own, but I'm not sure.

I think there is probably more females who started on their own among younger gamers. Back in "the day", it was very much a male hobby. I'm very glad that has changed.

I have noticed very little difference in the way females play, and as a GM, I strive to not treat them any differently. Viva la difference!

 

[Algolei]

With so many responses like those so far, I do wonder why the distinction ("SO of this guy") is made so often when talking about the women in games... if you read through treads, it happens all the time-- Eric as a specific reference was simply what triggered me to ask about it because I have seen/heard it so often.

Huh, good point! I often read that as meaning, "So there's no romantic interest and I'm not giving her special treatment." Maybe I'm just soft in the head though. Or covering up for one of my own failings many years ago (when I, as the DM, let *her* have a purple pony just because she wanted one. [I've never admitted that before; it burns, it burns!!])

It sounds pretty [what's a good word?] contemptuous on my part, though, assuming guys assume other guys would give special treatment to female players. So I'm gonna assume it was just me. Even though it probably wasn't.




*cough*