Would this bother you?

[Olaf the Stout]

You may be right. I always knew that she prefered fantasy to modern stuff for example when the Star Wars game was mentioned as possible other game she was totally against it.
But I also had a feeling that she was not happy in the Shadowrun game for other reasons. Sometimes it is hard to be the new one in the group.

There was a rather nasty isssue a few years ago in the group I played 3.0 with it was made up of the same Shadowrun players which included her husband and a new DM. She wanted to join that group and the other players including her husband did not want her to play. I was the only one who voted for her to join the group. She never knew the real reason the DM told her that he thought six players was big enough. She knew there was more going on and came out and asked me point blank so I tld her the truth that a couple of the players had issues with her from the Shadowrun game. I didn't tell her my roommate and her husband voted against her. I know she was hurt and maybe it has festered all this time.

She plays in the game I DM and so does my roommate. And now something she has said in passing is starting to make some sense. My world is a homebrew my roommate drew the maps for it becuse I suck at it. She took my rough design and made beautiful maps.

I also did some changes in the cleric instead of a generic one size fits all like in the players handbook I made changes to make them fit their god better. As an example clerics of Ehlona can't wear heavy armor but they get an extra starting feat of point blank shot and they get access to some of the druid spells. My roommate who is very good at building balanced prestige classes helped me with this.

This was before we started playing. The player in question said to me in passing one day when I mentioned my world she corrected me and said no its both yours and roommates world. I laughed and said no only some of the crunchy bits and didn't think anything more about it until now.

In my game my roommate does not play the face nor does she play a character who knows the world. The player says she can't wait to play and loves my game. The only dissatisfaction she ever expressed was that her ranger was not as good in combat as the monk, and cleric so I helped her build a kick ass sorcerer.

I want her to have fun in the game and I don't want her to feel left out and she is a great friend who I usually have a great time with.

I do have major issues with the passive aggressive way she is handling this. As friends we have shared so much we had I thought a great deal of trust in each other. She should open her mouth and just tell me the truth of what is bothering her. It is very hard to handle things if I have to guess what is really bothering her.

It sounds like there is a lot more to this situation than you "having an advantage" since you know the setting. I'd talk to her, find out what the real source of her problems are and see if you can deal with those issues. Just avoiding it is only going to prolong the problem and possibly kill the game before it has even started.

Olaf the Stout

 

[Pseudopsyche]

I do have major issues with the passive aggressive way she is handling this. As friends we have shared so much we had I thought a great deal of trust in each other. She should open her mouth and just tell me the truth of what is bothering her. It is very hard to handle things if I have to guess what is really bothering her.

Is it remotely possible that she is not consciously aware of what is bothering her? Maybe she simply believes that she or the group will have more fun if they explore and learn a campaign setting together. Sure, you could say that she should be willing to defer to your roommate's eagerness to return to Kalamar, but on the other hand, given some of her previous bad experiences, maybe she figures it's her turn to get in on the ground floor. In other words, it's less about not trusting you, and more about her just believing (right or wrong) that it's better for everyone to come in with the same familiarity with the campaign world.

Even if she does consciously think, "I don't trust Elf Witch and her roommate to let me have my share of the spotlight," that would be a hard thing for her to tell you. I'm not sure how you have that conversation with somebody, but YMMV.

Anyway, I hope this thread has given you (and will continue to give you) some food for thought, but in the end you know your friend better than any of us. Good luck!

 

[Mathew_Freeman]

My question is would it be an issue for you to play in a setting where one player knew the setting and the others did not?

Absolutely not - although I might have a problem later in the knowledgeable player was taking advantage of their knowledge. But to start out with, no.

I'd probably suggest that it might be great if that player played a character with a lot of local knowledge, like a bard or wizard or cleric of knowledge, but if the player in question didn't want to do that it'd be fine by me.

 

[buzz]

There's something else going on here that's deeper than an RPG or a specific setting....

Count me in with VA and Dlsharrock. You need to talk to this person and find out what the real issue is. I'm guessing she's been hosed by some dickweed players or DMs in the past.

 

[buzz]

I do have major issues with the passive aggressive way she is handling this. As friends we have shared so much we had I thought a great deal of trust in each other. She should open her mouth and just tell me the truth of what is bothering her. It is very hard to handle things if I have to guess what is really bothering her.

You know, not to drag in any geek social fallacies here (seeing as I don't know you two), but keep in mind that you don't have to game with this person. Friend or no, if badness tends to happen when they're at the table, don't bring them to the table. You can do other social activities with them.

I've been in groups that refused to exclude players who were ruining the experience, justifying the decision based on goofy reasons, e.g., "He's been here since the first session," or simply not wanting to exclude anyone. I left those groups. Life is too damn short.

 

[roguerouge]

I do have major issues with the passive aggressive way she is handling this. As friends we have shared so much we had I thought a great deal of trust in each other. She should open her mouth and just tell me the truth of what is bothering her. It is very hard to handle things if I have to guess what is really bothering her.

Sometimes, when you're being silly, you get stubborn. I'd just talk to her about it. The white boy way would be to say something like, "Dude. What's going on?"

 

[Greg K]

One player having knowledge of the setting would not bother me except under a couple of circumstances already mentioned.

1. The player uses that knowledge to correct the DM (unless asked).
2. The player uses that knowledge when it is not represented on the character sheet.

 

[Dark Mistress]

You have a paranoid group or something. I don't have a problem with it, infact I often like playing in new settings so I can learn IC about stuff.

 

[Elf Witch]

The player has decided not to play in any campaign my roomate runs. She didn't say why.

She did say she wants to play in my game and that she is having fun.

The downside of this is my roommate is pissed because now she feeesl this is directed at her DMing skills.

The upside is that we have two other friends who have been wanting to play. The husband used to play in his teens and has been itching to play in a table top game.

The wife has never played. She is a big fantasy fiction fan as well as an anime fan. She has been a little afraid to play because of the complex rules. Looking through her husbands old 1E book really confused her.

They came over last night and we talked. The husband wants to play a halfling cleric of Pelor he likes healing. She wants to play an elf mage.

She asked me to make her character for her so after talking to her we went with sorcerer.

My roommate and the husband are getting together tonight to help make his cleric.

I assuraed the wife that I remember well being a newbie and having a great DM who made my first character for me and the group being patient with helping in game.

I also told her that I found it easier to learn by playing than sitting and reading the book.

I have to say this though why is it gaming can bring out the weirdness in people? The friend that is not playing has no problem saying no I don't want to see that movie or go to that resturant. She has no problem opening her mouth if she feels hurt or slighted about anything else.

I have seen it and read about other people who are great friends but get them at a gaming table and weirdness comes out.

 

[Plane Sailing]

My question is would it be an issue for you to play in a setting where one player knew the setting and the others did not?

Not an issue at all. Game on, whatever!