Yet Another Lonely-Gamer Thread UPDATE 7-8!!!!

Rel · Jul 13, 2006

I've got a question: Who needs a friend who flat out says they don't trust you?

TheUnknownSoul · Jul 13, 2006

Rel said:
I've got a question: Who needs a friend who flat out says they don't trust you?

I asked that myself during the hour long convesation that followed that comment. Her answer: She TRUSTS people, but insofar. She could tell me any secret, and believes I'd respect her privacy (heh). Remember, she did suggest room-mating and even "benefits" which suggests a level trust you don't give to just anyone.

I think she means (and I can't be sure, just guessing) that she doesn't trust anyone to be there when the chips are down. That in the end, believing anyone (friends, family) is looking out for her and not there own best interest (IE not screw her over to further themselves) and thus, any time she draws close to someone (boyfriends, girl-mates, even her sibling) and feels she can let them in, she gets heart-broken and feels used. So, she stops letting people get that close, so that if/when they screw her over, she can say "eh, s/he didn't that much anyway".

Two problems with that theory. 1.) Its self-fullfilling. She shuts people out, so they don't get close, so that its easier to "screw" her over. and 2.) It assumes you can switch emotions on/off like a light. I don't believe either. As a personal third, I don't think she "believes" all that she's saying. Some of that might have been a "screw the world" type speech that had less to do with me and more to do with general dissatisfaction with how her life is currently.

All in all, I think she said more thinks that she meant to, that they hurt more than she wanted. However, the damage was done; I can't seem to put the same level of trust in her that I once did. She was my best friend, now she's just an old friend. Thus, I learn to keep my distance also and not get so caught up. She may yet see her way through this, and I hope for her sake she does. But once again, I'm not going to hold a candle waiting for her.

ssampier · Jul 18, 2006

Thus, I learn to keep my distance also and not get so caught up. She may yet see her way through this, and I hope for her sake she does. But once again, I'm not going to hold a candle waiting for her.

Sounds like a fantastic idea to me. REALLY.

I wish you the best.

Son_of_Thunder · Jul 21, 2006

papastebu said:
My dad has often said to me, "Never lie down with a woman who has more problems than you do. When you wake up the next day, her problems are your problems, and you both wind up crazy."

Wise man, your father. Best. Advice. Ever.

Son_of_Thunder · Jul 21, 2006

TheUnknownSoul said:
She was my best friend, now she's just an old friend. Thus, I learn to keep my distance also and not get so caught up. She may yet see her way through this, and I hope for her sake she does. But once again, I'm not going to hold a candle waiting for her.

Smart man. Keep thinking like this. The worlds a huge ocean. No need to wait for this one clownfish. I've got a similar experience behind me and cutting the threads were the best thing I ever did. Met my wife 8 mo. later.

Mr. Draco · Jul 30, 2006

Congrats on the resolution US!

tonym said:
She's testing you.
To pass the test, you must strangle her dog.
He is the only thing standing between you and happiness.

Hoowee, that's some excellent advice.

If she has a hamster or a goldfish, you better strangle them too. Then after she stops crying, give her a hug and tell her that your strangling days are over. Probably.

Tony M