Yet Another Lonely-Gamer Thread UPDATE 7-8!!!!

[Mycanid]

Hoorah for you sir - it's nice when things like this are OVER heart wise.

Even though it may hurt its better than having a nagging thing going on bugging and digging into you for ever.

It's nice she was so straightforward. Makes things easier for you I hope.

 

[Treebore]

What did I say?! What did I say about girls in Ohio and Michigan? Loves her dog more than anyone? Been hurt so she can't trust no one? At least she is honest enough to know and admit she is messed up! At least she is one step above most girls around there!

All right. I've ran into girls like her before. I know what she probably wants you to do. I'm not going to tell you. I am going to tell you to do what is best for you. Keep walking until you meet the real woman of your dreams.

Should be in about 6 to 10 months and through a friend of a friend is the way it usually goes. So just be patient. It actually took me over two years. The wait has made the last 16 years almost solid gold, relationship wise. Life itself has had some serious downs, but she was right there by my side, and I was by hers.

Patience is a virtue. Seriously.

trust me, she was just a warm up for the real thing. When the real thing hits you'll have no idea. You think you know what is going to be good? When she comes along you'll find it better than you can imagine.

She'll be worth the wait and a whole lot more. Just get your life and finances in order as best you can while your waiting.

 

[Rel]

All things considered, it could have gone a lot worse.

Have fun with the next phase of the operation.

 

[Dark Jezter]

So, its time to move on. Keep in contact, but look for new and greener pastures. The time has come.

Thanks to everyone again.

I know this is gonna sound cliche, but you're really better off without her. She's got way too much emotional baggage to make persuing her worthwhile.

It's also good to see that you have a positive attitude about the whole thing. Accepting that she dosen't feel the same way as you and resolving to move on is a lot healther than sinking into despair and self-pity or foolishly trying to "win her back" despite what just happened.

Good luck, man!

 

[tonym]

She's testing you.
To pass the test, you must strangle her dog.
He is the only thing standing between you and happiness.

Hoowee, that's some excellent advice.

If she has a hamster or a goldfish, you better strangle them too. Then after she stops crying, give her a hug and tell her that your strangling days are over. Probably.



Tony M

 

[papastebu]

Maybe you are merely this girl's "friend" because she knows she doesn't inspire passion in you.

Me, I don't see passion in your posts. Just run-of-the-mill desire.

This girl has already kissed you and dropped hints. Yet, despite this HUGE signal that she likes you, your big plan is to wait for her to kiss you again, at which point you plan to kiss her back.

Huh?

Heck, you are so passion-deficient that you put her in charge of the pacing! Her!!

It is not her responsibility to initiate any more kisses. She gave you the go ahead! Her work is done. If her kiss doesn't inspire enough passion in you to make you stop analyzing and worrying and just kiss her when you want to kiss her, then she's right to keep you at arm's distance.

A girl should be in a relationship with someone who, having kissed her, cannot control himself thereafter.

PASSION! Is it in you?

Tony M

When my wife and I met 13 years ago, I immediately thought she was about the hottest thing walking, and began to chat her up. I asked her out about an hour later. I could not help myself. My dad has often said to me, "Never lie down with a woman who has more problems than you do. When you wake up the next day, her problems are your problems, and you both wind up crazy."
I didn't so much ignore this sage advice as never give it a moment's consideration. Once again, I couldn't help myself. My wife gets into my head when I want privacy. She starts arguments when I'm trying to be sweet. She spends money we don't have on things we don't need.

I could probably live without her.
I most assuredly wouldn't wish to.
If that's how you feel about this girl, then don't make exceptions, don't let her tell you how to feel or what to do, and under--almost--no circumstances should you take "no" for an answer, unless that's the answer you want.

All that said, be respectful, and as kind as you are able.

 

[tonym]

When my wife and I met 13 years ago, I immediately thought she was about the hottest thing walking, and began to chat her up....

Same here. I'm shy around the ladies. But when I met Rebecca, I couldn't stop myself. I had to talk to her and ask her out. I was compelled!! I was...assertive!

And now she and I are married and have 4 children. Yay!


Tony M

 

[TheUnknownSoul]

If that's how you feel about this girl, then don't make exceptions, don't let her tell you how to feel or what to do, and under--almost--no circumstances should you take "no" for an answer, unless that's the answer you want.

All that said, be respectful, and as kind as you are able.

I guess the problem is I haven't been making exceptions for 3 years solid. Looking back, I realize its been this way for a long time, but I was too stubborn/stupid to realize. All the hints were there, but I was SO determined to win her over, I ignored them. It came to this, which is sad, because it might have hurt our friendship.

I'm not saying its my fault; there were PLENTY of mixed signals (hence this thread). Kay might even have feelings for me, but she is sure as hell not going to share them pr even admit them. Not now, maybe not ever. I'm 27 years old, I can't wait forever on a girl who MIGHT one day realize what a good guy I am. I need to start looking elsewhere also.

I'm not going to stop being her friend. I'll always be close with her and I'd do anything to help her. She has demons she needs to exorcise out before she can/will open up completely to anyone. That may be 2 years or 20 years in the future. I don't know, but I know I can't keep waiting for a vain hope she'll change her mind. I'm off to meet some new people somehow. Be more receptive to new experiences. Get my life together. Maybe even strike out on my own sometime. If I meet someone new, I'm blessed for that. If she realizes she make a grievious error and changes her mind, we'll see where that goes too.

But I'm not going to blind myself with false hope.

 

[Dark Jezter]

My dad has often said to me, "Never lie down with a woman who has more problems than you do. When you wake up the next day, her problems are your problems, and you both wind up crazy."

Damn, that's some good advice right there!

Your dad is a genius.

If that's how you feel about this girl, then don't make exceptions, don't let her tell you how to feel or what to do, and under--almost--no circumstances should you take "no" for an answer, unless that's the answer you want.

I gotta disagree with this one. Continuing to persue a woman even if she's made it abundantly clear that she's not interested may work out in the movies, but in real life it makes you a stalker. It will annoy the woman at best, or at worst make her fear for her own safety.

 

[Montague68]

. But I'm not going to blind myself with false hope.

Sorry to hear it went badly. However, I am glad for you that you got some closure.

I'm not sure if it's a good idea for you to stay close with this girl, at least in the short run. Take some time away and clear your head because I don't think you're out of the woods yet. Once she sees you're not paying as much attention to her and not there for her emotional support as much as you were, she'll start up again. "Maybe I was mistaken about not trusting people..." blah blah blah. You need to be ready for that and be able to tell her no, because it will happen - trust me when I tell you.