Last month I espoused a point on Monte Cook's web site, and I will paraphrase it here:
I firmly believe that we would all here likely be totally surprised if we were to sit in on each others' games. Why? because I would be willing to bet that 80% or more of us here play D&D in exactly the same way.
By that, I mean that we would all likely have about the same mix of role-play, dice-rolling, time spent for OOC conversation before or after the game, and (for those of us who game more than 4 hours in a stretch) sharing of lunch or dinner while we share conversation.
Gaming is, at it's heart, NOT about telling a story, or 'winning', or any of the high-minded concepts that so many message board jockeys love to espouse. It is at its heart, a social activity, and a way to commune with peers.
Does anyone deny this? WHO do you game with? Why do you even go? Do you like the people you game with? Have you EVER spoken to these people about the weather, about their daily lives, shared stories with them about the previous week, or given trivial advice or received any? These are the hallmarks of friendships and acquaintences, and the hallmarks of socialization. Nothing more basic than that. It's why people have gathered to play charades for a hundred years, and why people have played boggle, monopoly, and Clue (Cluedo) for the past sixty or so.
The purpose of a game is to be a fun, social pastime. Without this basic element, it cannot be defined as such. Note that a game can always be played competitvely. But a competitive exercise cannot always be called a game. Real-life combat, for example, is NOT fun for the people so engaged. If it is, seek a counselor.
No one should fool oneself into believing that an RPG is about storytelling, or artistic expression, or even "beating the heck out of Asmodeus." These goals are all secondary to the goal of social interaction with friends. And if you are accomplishing THAT goal, you are accomplishing the goal of the game.