Your game sucks...

[Umbran]

But people seem to be saying that tardiness no matter what the reason annoys them.

When some of us have said otherwise, and I have pointed out the difference between general statements and specifics, and how, yes, we know how priorities work, maybe you should reconsider that seeming.

A little while back, you said this:

If someone is upset because a person is commonly late for various reasons related to responsibilities that don't care about their gaming schedule, then not only would I probably not game with that person, we'd most likely never be friends. That's just not cool in my book. I don't hold a D&D game at the same level as my job, neither do my friends.

There's a difference between, "I agree to be there at 7 PM," and, "I'll try to be there at 7 PM, but you should know there's a lot of things that could make me late." If the group agrees to the latter, then you're all good. If you only say the former, and set everyone's expectations, and repeatedly fail, I have a hard time blaming the folks who are on time for being upset.

The expectation is key, here.

 

[Oryan77]

INow, it's cool that you don't have to worry about it, and have a chill group, and have something special to do while waiting

I admit that I don't have a lot of experience being in other groups. I've always been either the DM that got to decide who plays or not, or I was host for the same players that I also DMed in my own campaign. So the group was always filled with people with the same attitude towards time. Which is why hearing several people talk about tardiness being an issue surprised me. I just never thought about it.

I get what people are saying (and I'm listening). I guess I just have a very different attitude about it. But my wife is the same way as I am so it's normal to me. She's worse than I am about time and tardiness. She's Afghan and in their culture, when you tell them to meet at a certain time for dinner, a wedding, a party; they ALL show up at least 2 hours late. So you plan according to that. And I'm not kidding or exaggerating here.

I had a game scheduled for 6.15pm in town yesterday, my wife had promised to be home before 5pm to swap out child-care duties.

Your situation sounds very similar to mine haha. I work from home on my gameday and also watch my son. So I'm waiting for my wife to get home from work also. Then we both have that long commute to the game. That's cool that she can swing by the pub and pick up your kid. That would help, but our game is way out of the way for my wife to stop by.

Then again, how hard is it to pull out your cell phone and take those ten seconds to text, "Hey, gotta problem, gonna be 30 mins late, Sry"?

I always call when I'm late. It's the considerate thing to do. I won't even text because I want to make sure they get my message. People that don't notify you of their tardiness is disrespectful. I agree.

 

[S'mon]

I
Your situation sounds very similar to mine haha. I work from home on my gameday and also watch my son. So I'm waiting for my wife to get home from work also. Then we both have that long commute to the game. That's cool that she can swing by the pub and pick up your kid. .

Well she doesn't normally work on Saturdays, but since she became self employed she has meetings at weird times, like this one at the V&A Museum on a Saturday afternoon. She swore blind she'd be home by 5pm, mind you.

 

[S'mon]

I always call when I'm late. It's the considerate thing to do. I won't even text because I want to make sure they get my message. People that don't notify you of their tardiness is disrespectful. I agree.

Sounds like we're not really that far apart - players who call/text when they're going to be say 30-45 minutes late don't bother me.

 

[JamesonCourage]

I admit that I don't have a lot of experience being in other groups. I've always been either the DM that got to decide who plays or not, or I was host for the same players that I also DMed in my own campaign. So the group was always filled with people with the same attitude towards time. Which is why hearing several people talk about tardiness being an issue surprised me. I just never thought about it.

I get what people are saying (and I'm listening). I guess I just have a very different attitude about it. But my wife is the same way as I am so it's normal to me. She's worse than I am about time and tardiness. She's Afghan and in their culture, when you tell them to meet at a certain time for dinner, a wedding, a party; they ALL show up at least 2 hours late. So you plan according to that. And I'm not kidding or exaggerating here.

Wow, that's funny. I've got six players in my group. I have a new guy in my group (met him the first time a month ago), but four of the other members have been playing with me for 8+ years. I've known all five of the others for about 12 years. And, like you, I'm the GM. I've played maybe, what, six sessions is the last three years. It's nice when I do get to play, but GMing is immensely rewarding, and makes for a great creative outlet (though I write, too, and am just now starting to dabble in piano, so I have those as well).

At any rate, I don't have any problem with stuff being worked out, and giving friends leniency. I just understand why people might just see it as a scheduling issue, especially if they socialize with these people on other days. I have enjoyed our conversation, though. Thanks for talking. And, as always, play what you like

 

[Kzach]

Kzach, just a question. When you say *POOF*, does that mean you take the thirty seconds to text the GM to say you won't be back next week or do you just vanish into the dark?

I text.

*POOFING* probably wasn't the best term to use to describe it. I just liked typing it so much I couldn't help myself

 

[Hussar]

I get what people are saying (and I'm listening). I guess I just have a very different attitude about it. But my wife is the same way as I am so it's normal to me. She's worse than I am about time and tardiness. She's Afghan and in their culture, when you tell them to meet at a certain time for dinner, a wedding, a party; they ALL show up at least 2 hours late. So you plan according to that. And I'm not kidding or exaggerating here.

Heh, I lived in Korea for a number of years. They have a similar approach to time. Had a friend once show up about two hours after I'd already left, having waited for about forty five minutes, and then he got annoyed with me for leaving.

Cultural expectations on time can vary pretty wildly.

 

[Hussar]

I text.

*POOFING* probably wasn't the best term to use to describe it. I just liked typing it so much I couldn't help myself

Ahh, totally cool then. My little rant above was directed at people who cannot even bother to do that.

It took me a long time to build my current group. Myself and two of the other players have been gaming together for about six years now, and we went through I don't know how many other players before we found our current lineup.

I remember in my first two years of online gaming, I actually went through over fifty players. It was unbelievable. The group ballooned up to fifteen at one time, and then down to like two or three at others.

There's one thing about it, now, I'm a WHOLE lot less tolerant of other people being inconsiderate. I used to give three strikes. Now, it's about one and a half. And you should see my gamer wanted ads.

 

[Kzach]

There's one thing about it, now, I'm a WHOLE lot less tolerant of other people being inconsiderate. I used to give three strikes. Now, it's about one and a half. And you should see my gamer wanted ads.

Heh, it's funny but I just joined an online group I'm fairly happy with and I replaced their leader player so I had to make a leader character. The only time I ever played a leader before was when I played my uber-super healer which people complained about because he had TOO MUCH healing. So this time around I thought I'd try and please everyone and somehow in the process of trying to do that, I pissed off everyone.

Is it possible to be TOO considerate?

 

[S'mon]

Is it possible to be TOO considerate?

Clearly that is your big mistake Kzach, you are far too considerate!