maxfieldjadenfox
First Post
OK, so somebody send me an e-mail when the next one rolls around, (whatever it ends up being called) OK? 
Ceramic DM Winter 07 (Final Judgment Posted)
questing gm
First Post
Congrats carpe for being champion~!
and i would love to get back into this in the next one....
i eagerly await till then![:]](http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/devious.png "Devious :]")
and i would love to get back into this in the next one....
i eagerly await till then
Berandor
lunatic
EnWorld Short Story Smackdown is a good idea. Sign me up for it.
Congrats, carpedavid! I haven't read your last story yet but the ones before were of such consistent quality that no matter what you earned your win. I guess that makes me the guy who lost to the guy who lost to the guy who lost to the champion? Cool!
Congrats, carpedavid! I haven't read your last story yet but the ones before were of such consistent quality that no matter what you earned your win. I guess that makes me the guy who lost to the guy who lost to the guy who lost to the champion? Cool!
maxfieldjadenfox
First Post
I lost to both champions... OK, not in this round, but I guess I'm proud... Maybe?
OK, not in this round, but I guess I'm proud... Maybe?
orchid blossom
Explorer
Hey, I'm proud of my many losses to champions.
Herremann the Wise
First Post
Hello Everyone,
My Home connection has been restored somewhat - at least it seems to be working at the moment. Congratulations to Carpedavid and commiserations to all the other fine competitors, particularly Rodrigo Istalindir who almost took the crown - and by almost I mean I really struggled to separate the two final entries.
A special congratulations to yangnome too for officiating this competition. Unfortunately, most people don't get to see behind the scenes in terms of pictures/selection, ideas etc. but may I say, yangnome's arrangement with his site was pure gold!!! Congratulations on running such a great competition once again.
Anyway, this was an absolute blast to judge with so many fantastic entries. However, I wish to make mention of one in particular that for me was as good as anything I have previously read in Ceramic DM or pretty much any short story for that matter. Piratecat's "Thy Kingdom Come" was for me pure brilliance and deserving of a second read by you guys - so here it is once more:
http://www.enworld.org/showpost.php?p=3352848&postcount=513
Anyway, looking forward to the next incarnation of Ceramic DM in whatever form it takes. This time though, I think I'm going to throw my hat into the competitor's ring to give some of you guys the opportunity for revenge. Getting beaten up by a bunch of imps and a scythe should be fun.
Best Regards
Herremann the Wise
My Home connection has been restored somewhat - at least it seems to be working at the moment. Congratulations to Carpedavid and commiserations to all the other fine competitors, particularly Rodrigo Istalindir who almost took the crown - and by almost I mean I really struggled to separate the two final entries.
A special congratulations to yangnome too for officiating this competition. Unfortunately, most people don't get to see behind the scenes in terms of pictures/selection, ideas etc. but may I say, yangnome's arrangement with his site was pure gold!!! Congratulations on running such a great competition once again.
Anyway, this was an absolute blast to judge with so many fantastic entries. However, I wish to make mention of one in particular that for me was as good as anything I have previously read in Ceramic DM or pretty much any short story for that matter. Piratecat's "Thy Kingdom Come" was for me pure brilliance and deserving of a second read by you guys - so here it is once more:
http://www.enworld.org/showpost.php?p=3352848&postcount=513
Anyway, looking forward to the next incarnation of Ceramic DM in whatever form it takes. This time though, I think I'm going to throw my hat into the competitor's ring to give some of you guys the opportunity for revenge. Getting beaten up by a bunch of imps and a scythe should be fun.
Best Regards
Herremann the Wise
Berandor
lunatic
What are you doing here? This thread is dead – or is it?
I just had the chance to read the two final stories. Once more great work; I think I would have had some problems with an all-art round. Since the contest is long over, I won't spoiler my comments, but before I put them down let me just say that I think yangnome's idea of Short Story Smackdown has really grown on me, so much so that I refer to Ceramic DM already by that term
On both stories, I was suprised they're not the usual "surprise twist" kind of stories this contest often produces. Perhaps the fairy-tale qualities came about by using art instead of pictures?
Rodrigo Istalindir: I liked this story well enough, but I could have used a stronger leitmotif to guide me through. The adoption angle seemed tacked on somewhat – it's not that it shouldn't be there, but by referencing it at the end it seems as if that was the main idea of the story. If that was the case, then the story should have revolved around that angle a little more. The inclusion of the mad hermit was also somewhat disappointing. It's a "don't talk to strangers or go out alone" kind of warning, a typical lesson for a children's story, but you hint at very dark things and then don't go through with it. I'd suspect even the story as it is courts turning too scary for a young child at that point, and at the same time it's not dark enough for a mature reader.
The structure of the story was nice; I actually liked the idea of it being a bed-time tale. I, however, would have liked more father-daughter-interplay, both to frame the story even more and to break it up with a little dialogue. One other think I noticed was the resolution of the daughter turning into a comet, something that might go over the head of young children.
That said, the story did feel like a bed-side story, a tone which may have been difficult to adhere to in writing. Also, I liked the sadness running through (the lovers not able to meet, the moon giving up her child, Haley being regarded as a witch, the parents dying in the end). I think the story got more complex because of it. I also liked the idea of gravitational forces being represented by these lines, and of the sun super-lasering the bad guy away.
In the end, I think my biggest concern with this story is that it's neither a real story with a strong conflict nor a full-blown allegory, leaving me a little at a loss whether some things I noticed were deliberate strengths or accidental flaws of the piece. But it was great fun to read it. Thanks.
carpedavid: I'm a sucker for tales about the power of imagination, so you had me right there. What I liked was that Da wasn't able to save her friend, i.e. the fairy magic was not real, but that she didn't give up on her world despite it. That's as close to the message I would give as you can get. One thing you did well was pull us into Esmeralda's world without us noticing it. Only at Luna's outburst did I realize what was going on.
It's difficult to write children's dialogue. In the beginning, I felt the dialogue was very good (especially the thing about Da marrying), but it did become very direct, as if you wanted to make sure it was all spelled out nicely. I didn't like the structure of the story. When you flash back, I was totally thrown and kept asking myself why this flashback was necessary; in the end, I don't it was, you could have just told the story in succession. In fact, that might have made the reveal of Esmeralda's fantasy world even more poignant.
Finally, I'm not too sure about the ending; Da decides to become a doctor, I guess, but the significance of that didn't really register with me. I was missing some reference to an older Esmeralda, perhaps. I'm not sure. All I can say is I liked the idea of her being a doctor when it first came up, and didn't really jive with it at the end.
One last thing: I keep wondering whether Esmeralda's mother (Da's Ma?) was in on the game or not; that is, whether she referred to the dog as dragon or not. It doesn't make a difference for the story, but it's still something that made me wonder.
Once more thanks to all story-posting competitors, who really made this a great contest. Next time, it'll be even better.
Because I'm gonna win.
I just had the chance to read the two final stories. Once more great work; I think I would have had some problems with an all-art round. Since the contest is long over, I won't spoiler my comments, but before I put them down let me just say that I think yangnome's idea of Short Story Smackdown has really grown on me, so much so that I refer to Ceramic DM already by that term
On both stories, I was suprised they're not the usual "surprise twist" kind of stories this contest often produces. Perhaps the fairy-tale qualities came about by using art instead of pictures?
Rodrigo Istalindir: I liked this story well enough, but I could have used a stronger leitmotif to guide me through. The adoption angle seemed tacked on somewhat – it's not that it shouldn't be there, but by referencing it at the end it seems as if that was the main idea of the story. If that was the case, then the story should have revolved around that angle a little more. The inclusion of the mad hermit was also somewhat disappointing. It's a "don't talk to strangers or go out alone" kind of warning, a typical lesson for a children's story, but you hint at very dark things and then don't go through with it. I'd suspect even the story as it is courts turning too scary for a young child at that point, and at the same time it's not dark enough for a mature reader.
The structure of the story was nice; I actually liked the idea of it being a bed-time tale. I, however, would have liked more father-daughter-interplay, both to frame the story even more and to break it up with a little dialogue. One other think I noticed was the resolution of the daughter turning into a comet, something that might go over the head of young children.
That said, the story did feel like a bed-side story, a tone which may have been difficult to adhere to in writing. Also, I liked the sadness running through (the lovers not able to meet, the moon giving up her child, Haley being regarded as a witch, the parents dying in the end). I think the story got more complex because of it. I also liked the idea of gravitational forces being represented by these lines, and of the sun super-lasering the bad guy away.
In the end, I think my biggest concern with this story is that it's neither a real story with a strong conflict nor a full-blown allegory, leaving me a little at a loss whether some things I noticed were deliberate strengths or accidental flaws of the piece. But it was great fun to read it. Thanks.
carpedavid: I'm a sucker for tales about the power of imagination, so you had me right there. What I liked was that Da wasn't able to save her friend, i.e. the fairy magic was not real, but that she didn't give up on her world despite it. That's as close to the message I would give as you can get. One thing you did well was pull us into Esmeralda's world without us noticing it. Only at Luna's outburst did I realize what was going on.
It's difficult to write children's dialogue. In the beginning, I felt the dialogue was very good (especially the thing about Da marrying), but it did become very direct, as if you wanted to make sure it was all spelled out nicely. I didn't like the structure of the story. When you flash back, I was totally thrown and kept asking myself why this flashback was necessary; in the end, I don't it was, you could have just told the story in succession. In fact, that might have made the reveal of Esmeralda's fantasy world even more poignant.
Finally, I'm not too sure about the ending; Da decides to become a doctor, I guess, but the significance of that didn't really register with me. I was missing some reference to an older Esmeralda, perhaps. I'm not sure. All I can say is I liked the idea of her being a doctor when it first came up, and didn't really jive with it at the end.
One last thing: I keep wondering whether Esmeralda's mother (Da's Ma?) was in on the game or not; that is, whether she referred to the dog as dragon or not. It doesn't make a difference for the story, but it's still something that made me wonder.
Once more thanks to all story-posting competitors, who really made this a great contest. Next time, it'll be even better.
Because I'm gonna win.
Rodrigo Istalindir
Explorer
Thanks for the feedback, Berandor. Spot on, as always.
It was very hard to stay in voice, as it were, and keep it sounding like a fairy-tale. That's one reason why I cut several father-daughter interactions -- in addition to making it seem like a 'Princess Bride' knock-off, it broke the rhythm I thought. I did more 'write/backspace/rewrite' sentences in this than in most anything I've done, as I'd write something, read it back and think it was too concrete, and rewrite it again.
Still, it was a lot of fun to write, and a stretch from what I'm used to, so I'm glad it turned out the way it did.
It was very hard to stay in voice, as it were, and keep it sounding like a fairy-tale. That's one reason why I cut several father-daughter interactions -- in addition to making it seem like a 'Princess Bride' knock-off, it broke the rhythm I thought. I did more 'write/backspace/rewrite' sentences in this than in most anything I've done, as I'd write something, read it back and think it was too concrete, and rewrite it again.
Still, it was a lot of fun to write, and a stretch from what I'm used to, so I'm glad it turned out the way it did.
