how to hit on girls without being creepy?

[DungeonmasterCal]

I just spent nearly an hour composing a huge manifesto on this, but let me just say a few things.

Be a nice guy. Be a clean guy. Brush your teeth, for pity's sake and wear freshly laundered clothes. Being a very sincere and nice guy goes a along way, as does that first impression she gets when she sees you.

Don't be a jerk. If she turns you down, smile and say "Thanks. Have a great day". And be sincere when you say it. If you do get a date, don't be a jerk then, either. On the date, don't criticize her interests or menu choices. She's an individual, and she's entitled to her own opinions. Make the date a casual one, such as coffee or lunch between classes.

And if you have female friends, talk to them. Find out what creeps them out. Find out how they like to be approached the first time. The BEST advice I've ever gotten for asking girls out came from other girls.

Queen_Dopplepopolis and Mythago have some great tips here, and those same tips worked for me when I was single. And if I were single today, I'd sure as heck not be using Maxim magazine for advice, either. Trends and fashions advocated in the media are transitory; who you really are is forever.

Good luck!

 

[Hand of Evil]

A smile and a hello goes a long way.
Be yourself, if you have to fake who you are you will look creepy.
Talk to her, not at her.
She is not the only one, if she is not interested move on.

 

[Angcuru]

It's true the best dating/flirting/female attraction advice comes from women. That's where I get mine, and it's more or less what I already listed. Also, most if not LOTS of girls ]hate[/i guys with the 'player' persona.

 

[Queen_Dopplepopolis]

Join activities that she is in, figure out where she spends her free time. "Hey! It's good to see you!"

Don't join those activities unless you enjoy them. Some women will think it romantic that you joined a knitting class just to be near them. Others will be upset that they can't even go to their knitting class without that creep who won't take 'no' for an answer hanging around making goo-goo eyes :/

Indeed, I agree completely... should have stated it myself. But, because I didn't - I'll back it up with a solid "yep!"

 

[Darrin Drader]

Hitting on someone is the first problem. Outside of a bar setting, you shouldn't be hitting on someone you would like to meet or date.

Very true, although it is acceptable to hit on someone at parties, which are really just private bars anyway. Or maybe not, it kind of depends on what school you're at and how well they enforce their alcohol policy. I keep hearing that WSU is not the typical college experience. One year when Playboy magazine was rating the top campuses for partying, they refused to rate WSU because they "don't rate professionals".

Anyway, when not in that type of situation, brief eye contact and a smile is the best way to convey interest without going overboard. There was one time when I was dating where I saw a girl at the campus book store. I made eye contact, smiled, and opened the door for her on the way out. Apparently that left some sort of impression because a week later she followed me into a McDonalds and started up a conversation with me while we were in line to order. That led to a date where we found out that we didn't have much in common and decided not to pursue it any further.

 

[Nifft]

Simply put: Be yourself.

This is the worst advice ever for someone who doesn't like and/or respect who he currently is.

The correct advice is:

1) Become someone you like being.
2) Be yourself.

Then it will all work out. But you shouldn't go around being someone who you're not happy with.

Whatever it takes to make yourself into someone you like, do it. Make more money, work out, learn to paint or play sax, stuff a potato in your shorts -- whatever it takes, do it. No, it's not easy.

-- N

 

[Xath]

As a girl, I can say one of the creepiest things is when a guy puts up a false front. Being yourself is important for several reasons. You should never change who you are for someone else, especially just to attract notice. You won't be able to hold up that front forever, and once she sees who you really are, she'll feel like she doesn't know you and can't trust you.

Also, unless you're the world's best lier, you'll send off a wierd vibe that's often extremely creepy. I can't really explain it, but girls seem to have a 6th sense for that sort of thing...

Be yourself. That's all I can say. It's better to wait longer to find someone who will love you for who you are than to change for someone who will love you for who you aren't.

 

[mythago]

and practice good hygiene

Good advice to gamers everywhere, dating-advice or no

 

[Humanophile]

I didn't think to mention hygine, but it's a good point. Presentability is key. You don't have to be dressed to the nines, but a shower and clean clothes are non-negotiable. But I really, really hope that you don't need remedial training like this.

Now, I can't tell you how to "hit on" girls well; that seems to require an alpha-male personna that either you have or you don't. And ignore tips that micromanage; if I took the time to double-check what I was doing while I was talking to a girl, I wouldn't have time for the listen-and-respond that makes it a conversation. But if you want to know how to talk to girls more easily, here's what to do.

Start simple. Have a friend in a support role (if you have no friends present, chose some random person to fill the spot). Find some girl who looks bored and open. Walk right up and say "Hi. My friend over there is making me learn how to talk to girls." or something like that. Something to break the ice, excuse shyness on your part, and (hopefully) make her feel more comfortable that this isn't some hit-on. (Make sure to do this in some public place, but at the same time try to find someone who's not in the middle of a crowd.)

If she's free (and if she's busy, she'll likely tell you), talk from there. Ask her things, comment on whatever comes to mind, just the same as if you were meeting anyone else. This is all about practice and confidence building.

And don't worry about repeat performances. Don't ask her if you can get ahold of her later. (Unless you and her really hit it off, in which case ask her when one of you has to leave.) But if things go well, you might have an opening to chatting with her again when you run into her (if you don't get a phone #/IM name). And even if they're mediocre, you passed some time, got in some practice, and helped build your confidence for next time you want to chat someone up.

 

[msd]

Find some girl who looks bored and open. Walk right up and say "Hi. My friend over there is making me learn how to talk to girls." or something like that.

Yeah...this is sure to put her at ease with you...ROTFLMAO