mythago said:
...The nice guys I know, the ones who are kind and respectful and treat the woman as a person, have to keep a written calendar to keep their dates organized. Seriously...
Then we know a very diffrent circle of nice guys. the Nice guys I know never,
ever have any luck. It drives them mad that despite being classic nice guys (and they by all accounts are) that this doesn't interest women. It doesn't get a "foot in the door" to quote an earlier poster.
Women talk a good game about liking "nice guys with a sense of humour" and suchlike. But in my experience (and that of most every guy I know; inlcuding my Grandfather, my English Prof, a Professional Wrestler, a "Hairstylist to the Stars" and a Deacon, to give you some notion of the range of folks I'm describing here) there is no doubt that it was no accident that our culture developed the proverb
Nice guys finish last.
Because they do.
And yes, there will always be a girl who post to a thread like this claiming that neither they, nor any girl they kow likes jerks at all. While I am certain that's true in their case(s), it is not statistically signifigant enough to offset the fact that
nice guys finish last is a truism.
It just means that they and their friends are anomalies.
I'm entirely spoken for at the moment (and happily so), but back in the day I had no shortage of women (I was a Serial Monogamist; one girl at a atime, but no intention of settling down).
the women were there because I followed very simple advice. I have no idea why these rules work--they shouldn't-- but they do.
1)
Deflate the girl a little. Don't agree with everything she says. Show her up in front of her friends.
2)
Spend Money. Not necessarily on her. This one blows me away. if you spend a lot fo money on a girl, you are a mark. But buy drinks for yourself, your friends and--occassionally-- her, and you are
in.
3)
Don't take a lot of crap. Be ready to walk away from drama. This ones tough because you can easily get the the feeling that you are throwing away the relationship and that can make you cave. Don't. Stick to your guns and she will--inexpicably--be back.
4)
Side iwith her against others. Girls constantly snipe, gossip and generally dig at one another, even (and maybe expecially) their friends. Join in on her side. eg...
[bq] Her: "Molly is such a slut"
You: "Yeah well, that's not exactly news in my circles"
Her: "Really?"
You: "Oh yeah"[/bq]
...this is also a good opportunity to engage in rule 1 (deflating her a little)
[bq] You: "I thought Molly was a friend of yours?"
Her: "well, she is"
You: *shrug*"I guess guys just treat their friends differently"[/bq]
5)
Play to your masculine personality strengths. What is pretty simple stuff for men is just beyond the pale for a large percentage of women. Work on "Not treating
every situation as a full-on crisis" and "Not sweating the small stuff". Your ability to not worry about everything imaginable is both attractive and aggravating to most women.
6)
Be ready to fail: Most women you meet are not going to be all that into you (unless you already have a girl interested in you), this is just the way of things. it is a
lot easier for an average girl to get an above average guy than vice-versa. You need to pick you battles. Meet a lot of women, work on the ones who show an interest. Be ready and willing to walk.
That's about it.
