gyor, I find it painful to watch you twist in the wind like this. The lesson you should be learning is that this is a sensitive topic that really bothers some people so you should be very discrete in how you approach it. For example, crack open your Monster Manual and re-read the actual succubus/incubus entry; I'm pretty sure it doesn't explicitly mention sex
even once.
As a thought experiment, I have re-written your class in a way I find a bit more workable:
Monastic Tradition: Way of Kama
Desire can be a powerful force. Monks of the Way of Kama learn to draw forth desire from the hearts of creatures, incorporating it into their own ki and using it to influence emotions and transfer life energy. These worldly monks encourage each other to indulge their physical urges, and have a reputation as hedonists, tempters, and vile manipulators; but many are good-natured, seeking to help others find true pleasure.
Focus of Desire
Beginning at 3rd level, you may calculate your armor class for Unarmored Defense as 10 + your Dexterity modifier + either your Wisdom or Charisma modifier (your choice). The saving throw for your monk special abilities is 8 + your proficiency modifier + either your Wisdom or Charisma modifier (your choice).
Draining Kiss
Starting at 3rd level, you can use an action to extract life energy from the mouth of a creature within 5 feet. The victim must make a Wisdom saving throw, taking 1d6 psychic damage per 2 monk levels on a failure, or half damage on a success. A surprised target has disadvantage on the saving throw. A willing target has advantage, and can't be reduced to less than 1 hit point by the damage.
When you use this ability, you gain 1 ki point for every 5 points of damage your target takes, up to your maximum number of ki points.
Ki Addiction
Beginning at 3rd level, you must use your Draining Kiss at least once per day or suffer a level of exhaustion. This exhaustion can't be removed by any means until you use your Draining Kiss at least once.
Charming Touch
At 3rd level, you can spend 1 point of ki to innately cast charm person without any components, but with a range of touch.
Life Energy
At 6th level, you can spend ki points to cast the following spells innately, without any components: command (touch only; 2 points), cure wounds (2 points), revivify (5 points), spare the dying (0 points), suggestion (touch only; 3 points). Charisma is your spellcasting ability for these spells.
Blow Kiss
Starting at 11th level, the range of your Draining Kiss increases to 60 feet, and you can use it even on creatures without mouths.
Malcanthet's Blessing
At 17th level, you can use your action to manipulate the life energy of creatures of your choice that you can see within 60 feet. Creatures affected must make a Wisdom saving throw, suffering 10d6 psychic damage on a failure, or half damage on a success. For each enemy affected, you may spend 3 ki points to cause yourself, or a different creature within 60 feet that you can see, to heal 5d6 hit points. Each creature can only be affected by this ability once per use, either taking damage or healing (but not both).
Once you use this ability, you can't use it again until you finish a long rest.
OK, I still find this a little bit cheesy, but that's the best I can do.