Have you experienced anything like this? What do you think about it? Any advice?
I tend to like em for the most part, since that is my way of thinking, playing, and DMing.
Although I do scream Richard Gere nooooo!!!, also.
I'll definitely second, third, and fourth that one.
An example would be: I had a barbaric people based on RE Howard's savage,menacing Picts. With added detail from her, they became rather 'Dances with Wolves' real-world Amerindians.
I don't see though why your girl didn't recognize the Picts for who they were and just play it out that way. The Picts were not the Lakota. Me personally, if I saw somebody interjecting an analogue to the Picts in the game I'd really enjoy that, I wouldn't then try to transform them into somebody else. But that's just me.
Maybe the problem is not realism/simulation, but the desire to transform the game elements into what she wants them to be and her visions of what the game should concentrate upon.
Maybe the solution is just to talk to her and day, "Hey, if you recognize the Picts then don't try to make them into the frontiers Indians of the 19th century." So I'm with those who say "read what ya got in the game and work with that, and don't try to necessarily transform it into what it ain't."
I find this discussion interesting. I'm the sort who likes both playing with psychology/anthropology/theology/etc andenjoys the more pulpy colorful vibe.
I'm with ya on this one. I like both realism and fantasy mixed in a fantasy game. I think the interplay makes both of the other elements more interesting. I guess I'm sorta X-Filey when it comes to fantasy games in this sense, I like and enjoy reality, but I also like reality to be bent by surrealism and the bizarre from time to time. Sort of like seeing cracks at the edges of reality where a different reality intrudes or disturbs what you know to expect.
If this is something she finds engaging perhaps ask her to focus it on certain aspects of the setting. So instead of thinking about the Picts, she is thinking about and fleshing out a city-state somewhere. It could actually help in relieving some of the work-load.
I also agree with those who are basically suggesting this type of approach. Put her to work on her own stuff in background.
Maybe even co-write an adventure or scenario, but don't let her re-write your stuff on the fly.
But I think you can have both if you ask me. I mean that if I were in a really small party of explorers or adventures, cut off form resupply or besieged in the wilderness, and ran into a large enough tribe of Picts (the real ones or Howard's version) on the warpath it would sure scare the hell outta me (course it depends on era as to how they behaved), precisely because I know what they could do. That is to say knowing what I know about them would give me some real incentive about having that sense of danger and unease you find in some of the fictional Conan stories.
To me realism of that kind always makes for the best fantasy about what's really dangerous. Few fantasy peoples, or even monsters, are ever anywhere near as scary as real people have been.