"Can my spouse play for an evening?"

[Crothian]

It hasn't happened in a while but I am in favor of it. Usually though I would run somethign a little more suited for the wife then give them a character in the middle of our campauign. There is a lot of back story and plot in a campaign that the wife might not understand and there is no need to make it any more complicaated then it already is.

 

[fba827]

Is it possible to have this spouse play a NPC with simplified rules.

(just make sure it's a NPC whose style she would like.. i.e. spellcaster/fighter/etc)
and basically give her a pregen sheet of the npc once you know what she'd like to play.

this way the npc can bow out easily enough as needed. and the player won't need to be explained all the details, just some simplified details as they pertain to options on her simplified sheet.

(i.e. if you're playing 3.5 d&d/pathfinder, something like the corserer class is easy since it's spell options are limited, etc. or if using 4e d&d then limit it down to a couple at-wills,an encounter, a daily, and a utility (rather than multiple encounters/dailys/utilities like full pcs have) as if it were an npc or companion. etc.

but i think in general the PR with the husband-member of the group as well as the wife whose house you're playing in will go a long way.

Just a) try and have at least one plot point in the session that doesn't need extensive background; b) ask the husband (or another player if they hate each other ) to help her with her sheet/game mechanics; c) if at all possible, help her with little prompts about what her character might know about an area that the other pcs don't to help her feel like she's bringing something new to the table.

fresh blood usually helps mix players out of their rut. it might be a minor inconvience, but just roll with it. you might find it not as bad as you think OR worst case scenario this one session is a little slower than expected and next time you'll get back to regular.

 

[ExploderWizard]

Relationships with people are more important than games, and it is always possible to run a "one-shot" with different characters.

This shouldn't even be a question.

It hasn't happened in a while but I am in favor of it. Usually though I would run somethign a little more suited for the wife then give them a character in the middle of our campauign. There is a lot of back story and plot in a campaign that the wife might not understand and there is no need to make it any more complicaated then it already is.

Good advice here. Being plopped into the middle of an ongoing campaign as a first session wouldn't be a great first experience. Run an unconnected simple adventure that she can participate in and, more importantly, the other players don't have vastly more background information on. If the adventure/background is new to everyone then she will feel less like the only person in the group that doesn't know whats going on. If she enjoys the game and wants to join the campaign then you can get her up to speed before the next session. If doesn't want to play again then the campaign continues without inconsistency. It's a win-win situation.

 

[Stormonu]

I haven't run into a problem with letting anyone into a game, even if it turns out to be for one session. Usually, I do ask the person who is inviting them (or another person who is willing to mentor the new person) to be their "helper", someone who can help the person find stuff on the character sheet, explain backstory when needed*, explain rules, suggest actions and the like. I also prefer if the person bringing the new player in has helped put together a character that can be used before the game is scheduled to start up, so little time is lost there. Our group is normally happy to help a new player put together a character, but I think it's just polite if a new invite can do any of the work ahead of time (if they can get the help).

More often than not, "can I play tonight" turns into a permanent player in the game, if they get help with the game.

* I find a lot of people love talking about the group's exploits and the whys and wherefores how they got into the current mess. It's keeping them from over-explaining that tends to be the problem .

 

[Deset Gled]

I'll play Devil's Advocate here and take the negative side for a minute...

Adding a new player to a group can be a tricky, and can end poorly if done improperly. In the best case scenario, the new player has to create a new character, meet new people (in and out of the game), work themselves into a role in the party, and learn the groups houserules. In the worst case scenario, the new player has to learn how to play D+D for the first time as well. And the new player also has to have fun doing this if you expect them to play again. No one should be thrown into the middle of a group/campaign just to "see what D+D is like".

If this is the first time the significant other, I recommend having them be around for one gaming session before they actually create a character and join in with the group. This is especially true for the "see what it's like" scenario, as watching takes a lot less effort than playing. If the session is being hosted at the place where they live, it makes this much easier and less awkward for everyone. If things seem to be going well, the new player could start by taking control of a NPC or two and assist the DM. They can then start a new character for the next session, after having seen how the rest of the party works.

Under no circumstances should a significant other be brought into the group unless they really want to be there. And they should never be half-playing and half-hosting (or half-babysitting, or half-anything else).

 

[Herschel]

It should be no problem and a good idea.

Just let her play Titania.

And remind her husband you're playing ADVANCED Dungeons & Dragons.

Sarah Dohiny will just have to find a way to keep up.

 

[nedjer]

I'll play Devil's Advocate here and take the negative side for a minute...

Adding a new player to a group can be a tricky, and can end poorly if done improperly. In the best case scenario, the new player has to create a new character, meet new people (in and out of the game), work themselves into a role in the party, and learn the groups houserules. In the worst case scenario, the new player has to learn how to play D+D for the first time as well. And the new player also has to have fun doing this if you expect them to play again. No one should be thrown into the middle of a group/campaign just to "see what D+D is like".

If this is the first time the significant other, I recommend having them be around for one gaming session before they actually create a character and join in with the group. This is especially true for the "see what it's like" scenario, as watching takes a lot less effort than playing. If the session is being hosted at the place where they live, it makes this much easier and less awkward for everyone. If things seem to be going well, the new player could start by taking control of a NPC or two and assist the DM. They can then start a new character for the next session, after having seen how the rest of the party works.

Under no circumstances should a significant other be brought into the group unless they really want to be there. And they should never be half-playing and half-hosting (or half-babysitting, or half-anything else).

We'll rule out breastfeeding at your table then

 

[olshanski]

Note that the lighter the system, the easier this is.... With 3rd level characters in OD&D, this is no problem, with 10th level characters in 3.5 or 4.0 D&D, this is an issue.

I would always try to work a spouce or significant other in, as long as that person is eager and has a desire to play.

I've seen a significant other dragged reluctantly to a game, (with advance notice so the DM was prepared), but the SO was NOT into the game and dragged down the entire mood at the table. After 2 sessions the SO was asked not to return.

 

[TheAuldGrump]

My suggestion is to talk to her. Find out if she really wants to play, or even just wants to try it out. If so, then by all means let her play. If nothing else, it may help her understand her SO's strange hobby.

I have had a few players who got introduced to the game this way, and who are still playing. (One is in my game right now, she and the other player are now married. )

If the only reason she is trying the game is because her SO is playing, and has no interest in the game, then you may want to think about turning her down.

I had one player's SO put out her cigarette on my battlemat. She was rude to the other players, and was drinking while everyone else played. By the time she ground out her coffin nail she was three sheets to the wind, and pretty much everyone at the table hated her guts, including her SO. He broke up with her that night.

The Auld Grump, sad to say, happy as I am with the couples that did work out well in game, it is that single bad incident that comes to mind first....

 

[jimmifett]

If a spouse wants to play, let them.

Some guidelines however:
Play a fun one shot adventure so the main campaign isn't disrupted while she decides if she likes the game.

Let the others know in advance to have a new character ready, or provide some pre-gens for the group to keep things simple.

Do NOT play a one on one session ahead of time to brief her on the rules. Spouse wants to play to see what you are doing and have social interaction. One on One may bore her/make her feel babied which might put her off the whole idea.

If playing 4E, use a highlighter on her charsheet/power cards, highlighting the keywords, such as range, attack roll, damage, trained skills and defenses.

Have a pre-written paragraph backstory for each pregen so she can select one that she likes.

Have her pick out a set of her own dice. This buys potential long term commitment once money is spent and she has something of her own.

If playing 3.x, prepackage spell using chars with thier spell selections.

For the love of Bahamut and Bacon, do not let anyone at the table dictate to her what to do for her turn. The DM should ask her "What would you like to do?" and then offer a couple of ideas to accomplish what she wants. If the players need her to perform an action, they should roleplay thier characters requesting that action on thier own turn: "I peek around the corner briefly, and then tell Lady Darkmagic that the unsuspecting kobolds are bunched together perfectly for her Fireball. If she wants, I can wait until she rains down her fury and then I can run in swinging with my axe as they burn to end their pathetic lives." Now she has the choice of taking experienced player advise, or coming up with her own idea and feels part of the group.

Essentially, remove all the prep work so when she sits down she can jump right in and not be overwhelmed with character creation. People who aren't used to DnD are usually used to board games that get started quickly. If she likes playing, then you can go over character creation and let her create her own from scratch afterwards.