"Can my spouse play for an evening?"

jimmifett · Jun 9, 2010

TarionzCousin said:
Oh my god. I might know her. Was she not too tall, with hair and a nose?

She also has eyes and her epidermis shows!

the Jester · Jun 9, 2010

It's worth the effort, and if you're really lucky, you may pick up a permanent player that can always be there (and on time!) out of the deal.

jimmifett · Jun 9, 2010

DrunkonDuty said:
5 and 1/2 if you count the new rug rat.

My rugrat likes to play too (5yo). She usually plays a wizard, says "pew pew pew" for magic missile (gesturing ironman style with her hands), and likes to pretend she is turning into a pikachu when using thunderwave.

Mercurius · Jun 9, 2010

Some good thoughts here, thanks, although there are also some things I don't agree with or just wouldn't work for my situation, but I won't do a blow-by-blow.

One thing that quickly became clear from reading this thread is that the details do make a difference. I mean, as a general rule I would always be open to having someone new try the game out, especially if I was looking for more players. But let me add some details into the mix:

1) She has no interest in joining as a regular (afaik) and probably couldn't because they have a baby and we rotate where we play, so unless they brought their baby (which would not be ideal) they couldn't both play.

2) Not including myself, there are already five regular players and two who are on the verge of joining--and that doesn't include this spouse (or other Curious Spouses who want to give it a try, and there are one or two others!). In other words, we're already bursting at the seems for how many I feel comfortable DMing.

3) One of the above mentioned new players may be starting during this session. So I am going to have two new players in this session, neither of whom I know well.

I did end up inviting her because it seemed like the Right Thing to Do (I don't know her well, it is the first time I'll be at her house, etc), but if I'm honest, given the above circumstances I'd actually prefer if she didn't play. But when I make a choice like this I will welcome her with open arms and hope she has a good time.

Starfox · Jun 9, 2010

Mercurius said:
Not including myself, there are already five regular players and two who are on the verge of joining--and that doesn't include this spouse (or other Curious Spouses who want to give it a try, and there are one or two others!). In other words, we're already bursting at the seems for how many I feel comfortable DMing.

A friend of mine is running a regular game for his and his friends' kids - or used to before they took over the GM mantle themselves. This can work here too - maybe a new campaign in the opening?

With non-gamers, I generally play down the violence and play up the drama. I once did a role-playing session with a group of social workers in my town - all women 30-50. They had encountered role-playing games and wanted to know more. It was some years ago, but from what I recall, I had them all play kids and had them encounter a gypsy, a mysterious theft, some prejudice, and making them take a moral stand - or not. There was no combat, tough I think there was a chase. It was all freeform, no rules, no dice. None of them became gamers, but I think they got a fair grasp of what roleplaying is. I explained that this was something of a sanitized, low-conflict version meant to appeal to adult women, not teenage boys.

Starfox · Jun 9, 2010

Deset Gled said:
If this is the first time the significant other, I recommend having them be around for one gaming session before they actually create a character and join in with the group. This is especially true for the "see what it's like" scenario, as watching takes a lot less effort than playing.

Wik said:
What I'd suggest instead is working "sasha" into the current plot as a side character. After all, presumably if Sasha likes the game, she's gonna need to figure out your plot anyways, so may as well get her hooked on your crazy plot now.

Good and important points. I'd strongly advice a very simple or even noncombat character for a tryout session. Something like a pixy that can turn invisible in a fight. You can let them have the thrill of role-playing against others, but wait to introduce them as targets and perpetrators of actual virtual violence. Some people can be shocked by the visceral nature of role-playing combat, just watching it form the sidelines can be enough at first.

Of course, many people ARE ready for virtual violence, having endured hours of it in virtual worlds. Ask and make a judgment call.

TarionzCousin · Jun 9, 2010

jimmifett said:
She also has eyes and her epidermis shows!

That's her! I'd swear it's the same woman!

Wolf1066 · Jun 9, 2010

A player in a game I was involved in asked our DM if his girlfriend could sit in on a game. The DM agreed, the girlfriend sat in on the game, really enjoyed it, joined the game properly and became an enthusiastic and well-liked player.

Her boyfriend, however, was actually quite a prat and his behaviour was getting more and more annoying to the DM and the original members of the party.

In the end, the DM approached the player's girlfriend and said "I like you and have no problem with you. Would you still consider playing if I killed off your boyfriend's character and kicked him out of the game?"

The girlfriend said she would be happy to continue playing and she was sick of his behaviour - both in and out of game - herself.

So the player's character got crunched, player was told he wasn't welcome, he stormed off, girlfriend continued playing.

She also dumped him within a couple of days as well.

So, these situations can go all sorts of ways.

When I've been asked if a person can try out the game, I usually run a one-off "alternative universe" scenario - players use their regular characters (with the addition of the newcomer) in a short scenario wherein things can be tried out by the newcomer and whatever happens does not count in the proper game/campaign. It's an "alternative universe" or "dream sequence". If the person then wants to join the proper game a character can be generated properly and some form of plausible entry point worked out.

If the newcomer doesn't want to continue playing, the normal game story resumes at the next session starring the usual suspects, as if the little interlude never occurred.