Forget the Mule: Why Must My DM Restrict Chicken Ownership?

[Achan hiArusa]

Because it all tastes like chicken.

 

[jaerdaph]

Chickens, much like cats, can kill a first level character.

Unless you take the Choke the Chicken feat...

 

[wingsandsword]

Sounds like you're really ruffling some feathers with this proposal.

 

[Umbran]

Just cast enlarge on a few and spook them in the right direction.

A hint for the henpecked dungeon master: scythe trap first thing in the dungeon. Decapitate all the birds at once, and rather than running where the party wants, they're running all over the place like... chickens with their heads cut off.

When the party sees a collection of enlarged headless horsechickens coming back at them, they'll rethink their strategy.

 

[SiderisAnon]

I had a party try this sort of thing for a while. Until one of the poor woodland creatures they'd trapped stumbled into a magical spring in the dungeon and was granted phenomenal power. The group then had to try and chase down a flying, fire breathing, intelligent squirrel who was transforming an army of other animals to seek revenge on the species of the PCs who had tortured it so.

Of course, this was when we were kids. I'd never decide to just give a poor animal each of the neat abilities that had been slated for the PCs at the end of the adventure.

Well, probably not.

 

[Hand of Evil]

Chickens don't go far unless their heads are cut off.

Really, they just get out of the way, they don't wander.

 

[El Mahdi]

Because it all tastes like chicken.

Mules don't...just sayin'

 

[coyote6]

Clearly, the optimal dungeon-delving package is a mule carrying a coop full of chickens.

 

[jonesy]

Clearly, the optimal dungeon-delving package is a mule carrying a coop full of chickens.

Make that a mule carrying monkeys throwing chickens.

 

[EvilQAGuy]

Make that a mule carrying monkeys throwing chickens.

And a thousand CharOp posters just died a little.

Good work!