Late to the party, but here's my input anyway. As always, feel free to ignore it.
- How would you have handled this situation?
- Would you have done the same thing or would you have killed him?
- Would you try to get rid of him in the proceeding sessions as he is the only CN character in the group and has own complete agenda and what he thinks is right and wrong?
- Am I over thinking it and being irrational myself?
Wow, a lot of things I'd have handled differently.
Arguing about the trap? I'd either have sprung it, like you did, or knocked the wizard out and carried his unconscious body through the jungle. Every time he starts to bitch, just remind him that he's unconscious and can't talk.
Pranks are harmless fun, especially when he started the cycle. Taking it to murderous violence is completely irrational, inappropriate, and proves that the character is unworthy of trust or respect (even going non-lethal would have been an overreaction, but a forgivable one). My characters would have beaten him unconscious, checked for mind control magic, and either left him lying in the woods, bleeding and broken, or killed him (the declaration of unending murderous intent would normally have me execute the just-declared major villain). Even if the Wizard had won, the rest of the party should have kicked him out of the group: someone like that is
not someone you want to have at your back in life-or-death situations.
Relative alignment has nothing to do with my response. It's not the alignment that tells you about the character, it's his actions. The wizard has been a contrary, group-destroying, murderous jerk in every instance described.
I wouldn't go on a road trip with him, let alone on life-threatening adventures; why should my character feel any differently?
Side Note: Most Chaotic Neutral characters are actually some variety of Evil. The actions they take, and the extreme self-centered selfishness they engage in, are the hallmarks of Evil. This stems from player confusion about the differences between Good, Neutral, and Evil, as well as the mercurial nature of Chaotic. Murderous, thieving, psychotics are not Chaotic Neutral - they're Chaotic Evil. End Side Note.
Regardless of his survival (and oaths of unending murderous enmity mean he's a personal villain that yearns for your life's blood), he's out of the group. Merely refusing to heal him ever again is
generous of your character. Any of my characters that didn't kill him would refuse to travel with or near him, sort of a, "Leave, now, and never return. If I ever see you again, I will kill you," situation.
Players having personal issues is understandable. We've all either been there or will be there, so some patience and consideration is essential on the personal level. Find out what's going on, discuss things calmly away from the game, and try to resolve any inter-player issues. It's a pity to ruin a real friendship over some imaginary slights.
But certain actions are unforgivable for those affected (the characters, in this instance) and the player needs to understand that he has kicked his current character out of the campaign. What his character did is unforgivable (excluding extenuating circumstances, such as demonic possession, hint-hint), and not being killed is as much mercy as he should expect in character. Although his next character should get an easy entry into the party (it's a polite thing for the players to do).
Best of luck.