D&D 5E Anti-DM Tips (AKA what NOT to do!)

[Lanliss]

27. Describe every action your players take with a ton of adjectives.

28. Tell your Players what their character thinks and feels, otherwise they won't be sure.

29. Pick one player every session. They have the spotlight, and overrule all of the other players in any argument during that session.

30. Bring your significant other to the session, make sure they get all the best stuff. Bonus points if they don't enjoy the game, so the unstoppable Paladin is just spending every turn complaining about how boring and childish this is.

 

[ccs]

31) pick a bunch of rules & alter them - without discussing the proposed changes with the people who'll actually be sitting at your table.
But make sure to post them on your favorite forum site....

 

[Waterbizkit]

32) Remember that when confronted with player actions you're not prepared for or happy with anything can be a fireball. Did they go left when they should have gone right? That tree one the side of the road... fireball. Did they threaten the beggar you were hoping they'd help? That dirty rag he throws at them... fireball. Everything can explode, everything.

I uh, learned that gem from my first ever DM... no joke.

 

[Lanliss]

33. Did your players kill your BBEG in two rounds, giving him no time to use all his cool "totally balanced" abilities? Don't worry, It was just a dream sequence! It never really happened, and in fact they were imprisoned while they were sleeping.

 

[Oofta]

34. Have long drawn out scenes of epic battles that the PCs cannot participate in. Bonus points if one or more of the NPCs is an old character that you love. Spend several minutes describing the character and their past exploits so they know how awesome they were.

 

[Lanliss]

A gem from my past bad ideas.

35. Reverse inspiration. Players aren't role playing the way you want them to? That player has a reverse inspiration, giving a random monster of your choosing Advantage against them.

 

[Blue]

36. Be inconsistent. Just because it was one way last session doesn't mean it makes sense for now. Also remember that you can have different rule for YOUR NPCs then for the PCs.

 

[Blue]

37. If you are dating or married to one of the players, either show your love by giving them lots of in-game goodies and "bending" the rules for them, or by being overly harsh to show how fair you are.

 

[Benji]

38.Make sure everyone hands you a backstory, work with them to create it. Never use anything in it or involve it in any way.

 

[Benji]

39.When a player goes off with fair amount of warning, makes sure that you NPC their character that week. Make them pregnant by the time they return.