How to avoid RPG dumpster fires like the Far Verona controversy

[Sepulchrave II]

I didn't watch the video but I did read the article, which was well-written. I'm glad that the ideas of trust and power were made central.

I do think that when we roleplay, because it is often desirable to evoke an alternate perspective as authentically as possible, we may sometimes enter a kind of liminal or non-normative state of consciousness. Things which we experience in liminal states can have unpredictable effects in normal life.

When we share an imaginary space, we need to be especially excellent to one another: we are actually all unusually vulnerable.

 

[Morrus]

I have watched her statement. And "hit her VERY hard" is not the same as being triggered. If a friend who I trusted got creepy with me and ruined a game I was enjoying, it would "hit me VERY hard". It would not "trigger" me. If my boss hit on me or sexually harassed me at work, it would be a very difficult and emotional experience. It would not "trigger" me.

Celebrim, please stop hijacking this thread. Your single-minded focus on the definition of a single word is completely unimportant here.

 

[Umbran]

@Hussar : What would I ever do without you to demonstrate?

But he has a point. You are dismissing an argument based on whether someone was triggered in a clinical sense. In the process, you make it seem like the situation was no big deal.

Never mind how this was a public performance, such that anyone in the audience who had suffered assault could well have been actually and clinically triggered...

Let us be clear - the event counts as a non-consensual verbal violation of sexual boundaries - which is commonly referred to as "sexual harassment". It is a harm.

Continuing to worry about the technical term in light of that looks like a deflection.

 

[hawkeyefan]

So I’m a fan of Adam’s and I’m really surprised that he let this go so bad. I haven’t seen the actual incident, just the bit of leadup to it. Is anyone able to summarize the actual in play situation?

I’m asking not to challenge how it could be categorized as a fictional instance of assault (enough people have taken it as such that challenging that seems a bit silly) but rather to try and understand how Adam may have thought this was different than it was taken. I’m curious of the fictional circumstances.

I’ve no doubt he’s learned from this and will continue to learn, but I also hope he’s given the chance. I feel like he’s a pretty thoughtful guy who happened to misjudge and make a mistake in this instance. I don’t think he needs to be silenced forever.

I imagine the fact that this was a stream and one of MANY that Adam does is part of the situation...the need to push boundaries a bit and produce more provocative play is gonna be a concern for someone who does this for a living the way he does. But for those of us playing in private games online or in a shop or at home...it really is easy: you just avoid such topics. You don’t allow them to come up in the game.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

Unfortunately, yes. Last time it happened when I was a player was some time ago, when I was in my early 20s. We weren't articulate enough to say "we're not okay with this," but we did all say that that person never gets to DM ever again.

And on the other side, yes, there absolutely are weirdo players out their that try to introduce sexualized content/violence in games where no one else is on board with it.

There have been some high-profile incidents, but assuredly there's still plenty of tables where that sort of thing goes on outside the public eye. We've gotten better as a hobby, but there will always be work to do.

Does this type of situation occur often at the tables of others? I have never incorporated sexual violence into a single campaign, and neither have my DMs/GMs. Is this a normal thing?

 

[Mort]

So I’m a fan of Adam’s and I’m really surprised that he let this go so bad. I haven’t seen the actual incident, just the bit of leadup to it. Is anyone able to summarize the actual in play situation?

I’m asking not to challenge how it could be categorized as a fictional instance of assault (enough people have taken it as such that challenging that seems a bit silly) but rather to try and understand how Adam may have thought this was different than it was taken. I’m curious of the fictional circumstances.

Adam has always struck me as a great DM who puts A LOT of thought into his craft, he's actually spoken, quite extensively, about how to avoid the very thing that happened!

To summarize:

A (female) player's Male PC android is injured and goes to a mechanic he knows/trusts to fix him up. The mechanic instead isolates him from the rest of the group and sexually assaults him through essentially plugging him into a machine and simulating a sex act(sorry I'm being a bit vague - not 100% sure of the rules for this on this forum).

The incident seemed very premeditated and planned out by Adam - he was giggling and laughing throughout, like he thought it was a big joke. The players (especially the one this was happening to) appeared shocked and uncomfortable, like they were clearly NOT expecting this scenario.

I’ve no doubt he’s learned from this and will continue to learn, but I also hope he’s given the chance. I feel like he’s a pretty thoughtful guy who happened to misjudge and make a mistake in this instance. I don’t think he needs to be silenced forever.

I imagine the fact that this was a stream and one of MANY that Adam does is part of the situation...the need to push boundaries a bit and produce more provocative play is gonna be a concern for someone who does this for a living the way he does. But for those of us playing in private games online or in a shop or at home...it really is easy: you just avoid such topics. You don’t allow them to come up in the game.

It is just shocking to me that a DM of Adam's experience and (apparent) awareness would pull something like this. It's pretty simple, if such a controversial scenario hasn't been discussed and expressly ok'd - JUST DON"T DO IT.

 

[Mort]

I didn't watch the video but I did read the article, which was well-written. I'm glad that the ideas of trust and power were made central.

I do think that when we roleplay, because it is often desirable to evoke an alternate perspective as authentically as possible, we may sometimes enter a kind of liminal or non-normative state of consciousness. Things which we experience in liminal states can have unpredictable effects in normal life.

When we share an imaginary space, we need to be especially excellent to one another: we are actually all unusually vulnerable.

Good post!

In any game where the GM has as much control over the fiction as D&D (essentially the power) trust is absolutely essential.

Trust allows the GM to really build fun scenarios for the players with them buying in fully because they know the trust will be rewarded with a fun play experience.'

An incident like this shatters that trust and any idea of a future fun play experience is gone. Especially in a venue like the one here - where the GM and the players all have hundreds of thousands of followers!

 

[generic]

Unfortunately, yes. Last time it happened when I was a player was some time ago, when I was in my early 20s. We weren't articulate enough to say "we're not okay with this," but we did all say that that person never gets to DM ever again.

And on the other side, yes, there absolutely are weirdo players out their that try to introduce sexualized content/violence in games where no one else is on board with it.

There have been some high-profile incidents, but assuredly there's still plenty of tables where that sort of thing goes on outside the public eye. We've gotten better as a hobby, but there will always be work to do.

This strikes me as very odd, because I've always seen RPGs played more for the blood and glory than any element of sexual violence. But, I suppose people will incorporate whatever they wish, and will have to deal with the consequences.

 

[Mort]

In professional and college football, those guys are not at play. They are at work. Yes, there is risky work in the world.

In the video, the speaker mentions that play of RPGs involves making oneself vulnerable. He's entirely correct in that. And, by definition an activity in which one becomes vulnerable, one is at higher risk of harm, and so RPGs do have some inherent risk to them. It isn't risk of traumatic brain injury, but there's a lot of harm in the world that isn't about crushing bones.

Just to highlight this - the analogy is apt - because the people in this video are not really "at play" either.

Each one is a professional streamer, most with hundreds of thousands of followers. They are (as you point out in a later post) doing performance art.

That's why (sorry if repeating myself) I'm both 1) stunned that a GM of this caliber would pull something like this especially in such a public setting, but 2) happy that the incident seems to be getting the attention it deserves with the clear consensus of WOW is this not ok and how do we ensure it doesn't happen.

 

[Celebrim]

But he has a point. You are dismissing an argument based on whether someone was triggered in a clinical sense. In the process, you make it seem like the situation was no big deal.

No, that's the exact opposite of what I did. What I actually argued is that things could in fact be a very big deal, even if no one was actually triggered in a clinical sense.

Your characterization of what I wrote is libelous.