This thread just keeps going round and round.
On one side we have DM authority that I'd summarize as:
- As a DM I wear many hats including referee and final arbiter of the rules.
- The DM is responsible for making the best game they can for everyone at the table. That includes all 4-6 players and themselves.
- Much of DM is collaborative gameplay, but the DM is still primarily responsible for world building and establishing restrictions and limitations. That may include restricting races and/or classes.
- Accept that their style and their campaign may not be for everyone. However if you try to please everyone you often please no one.
- As much as it may suck for the player cannot find a DM that will allow a specific race, that's not the DM's responsibility. Most DMs have limited time and space for a limited number of players, usually 6. DMs are not responsible for every potential player that could possibly join their game. It's only an issue if the DM cannot attract or retain players for the games they're willing to run.
- Last, but not least, being a good DM includes being enthusiastic and excited about their world. If the world doesn't live and breath for the DM how can he make it come to life for the players?
There's a lot of variation in there, it's completely up to the DM to share responsibility as they see fit. In some case that may mean that up to the point of character creation the DM has full control or may mean a collaboratively built world or anything in between. Obviously there should be discussion, but the DM is under no obligation to change anything.
There is no one right way, although in general the players should have complete control over their PCs once they are created. Exceptions would be things like whether you allow PVP combat, stealing from party members and similar.
Am I missing anything critical?
On the Player authority side(?)
Honestly I'm not even sure. Can someone sum this up in 500 words or less? Without throwing in bad DM red herrings like reversing everything the player accomplishes on a whim, gotcha DMing, railroad campaigns, changing rules after session 0 without discussion, rudeness, and so on. Bad DMs will be bad DMs, it has nothing to do with running a curated world.
I'm trying to not be dismissive, but it seems to boil down to one of the following:
- Any individual player has the right to play any character they want.
- The DM has to justify their choice. The justification has to be for a "good" reason. The player decides if the reason is good enough.