The "Torment a Historian" movie playlist thread

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

I hope this is sarcasm or humor... Because if you take Monty Python seriously, there is no hope for you.

But I can't think of any movies to add to the list, though I will agree with most of the ones proposed/mentioned/mocked so far.

Except the Uwe Boll idea. I know we'd need a low-cost director, but we can do better... And yet, I am drawing a blank.

Which would be better, unless you need to some tax deduction or secure some film funding support from local states or countries.

 

[Ryujin]

Except the Uwe Boll idea. I know we'd need a low-cost director, but we can do better... And yet, I am drawing a blank.

Hey, Roger Coreman is still around

 

[dragoner]

I remember when "Enemy at the Gates" came out, some Russians were calling it Enema at the Gates.

 

[Orius]

Hey, Roger Coreman is still around

Corman doesn't deserve to be compared to the likes of Uwe Boll or even J. J. Abrams! Yeah, the guy's known for B movie cheese, but he gave a lot of actors their first big break. He deserves credit for that at least.

Comet is playing this piece of crap right now:

Beowulf (1999)

A 1999 Science Fantasy action film based on the epic poem of the same name, starring Christopher Lambert and Rhona Mitra. Hearing about a monster bothering a castle, a hunter with supernatural powers named Beowulf goes there to ply his trade.

tvtropes.org

Ok, so that's literary, not historical, but it's still awful. I was wondering what the hell was going on with the old token black guy wearing glasses and rolling my eyes at the really out of place techno soundtrack. Then I read on TVTropes it's some kind bizarre post-apocalyptic futuristic thing. The hell?! Oh man, this thing is terrible, and it's weighted down with ansty 90s seriousness.

Christopher Lambert had a line that went something like "The monster grows tired of the game." Jesus. Do you know how hard it was for me to NOT make a snarky Highlander crack there?

I think I'm hearing this weird grinding rumbling noise. Must be Tolkien rolling in his grave.

 

[Zardnaar]

I remember when "Enemy at the Gates" came out, some Russians were calling it Enema at the Gates.

To be fair the movie is full of crap and Americanisms.

 

[dragoner]

To be fair the movie is full of crap and Americanisms.

The German sniper officer is a fabrication; I mean Stalingrad deserves a good movie, something about Pavlov's house would be better.

 

[Zardnaar]

The German sniper officer is a fabrication; I mean Stalingrad deserves a good movie, something about Pavlov's house would be better.

Soviets mowing down their own unarmed men with machine guns were a fabrication.

27 million dead and Hollywood spits out that go figure.

 

[Eltab]

Any movie based on Shakespeare's historical plays.
The Bard gets the big picture and "how it worked out in the end" right, but everything else he altered for dramatic purposes.

 

[dragoner]

Soviets mowing down their own unarmed men with machine guns were a fabrication.

27 million dead and Hollywood spits out that go figure.

I don't expect them to care about us, our lives merely function as a score, still doesn't matter to them.

 

[Paul Farquhar]

Any movie based on Shakespeare's historical plays.
The Bard gets the big picture and "how it worked out in the end" right, but everything else he altered for dramatic purposes.

Some of the movies actually are more accurate than the original plays, or remove them from any historical context. Shakespeare could tell a story, but he was no historian. And the ones he based recent history are loaded with propaganda (because it was quite easy for a playwright to lose their head for saying the wrong thing in those days).