If your table looks a lot like CR great1 It must be a fun table to play in. I don't want to sound rude here, but when we say most tables aren't, and that CR is different from home games, we are talking about the majority of games. There will always be exceptions and outliers. We're not trying to prove you or your table wrong. We are not trying to throw shade at CR, in fact, most of us love CR (Snarf is an exception because they are a bard who hates bards). I just don't get why you feel like we are attacking you..
You hit the nail on the head without realizing it. Playing at a table where there is real, organic role playing is fun. That is why people should be trying to find ways to do it better.
These lengthy and repetitive threads, which are lengthy and repetitive in a lengthy and repetitive way, condemned the idea that looking at CR, other streaming games, or the games of other DMs as a way to improve your game. Snarf told them that these DMs do not know your players, so 'you do you' and ignore everyone else, and that Critical Role, essentially, is fake like porn.
B. Don't listen to other DMs. Not on the internet. Look, all of us that give advice, myself included ... we mean well! But we don't know your players. We don't know you.
You will learn as much about being a good DM for your home game from watching Critical Role as you would learn to be a considerate lover from watching adult film clips off the internet; it's just not in the same ballpark.
As my grandmother lovingly says, "You can learn something from anything, including porn." And she is right.
I absolutely stand by the statement I've repetitively made in these threads: Emulating Critical Role in a home game is going to be educational and improve your game. That is
NOT saying that a game that does not fit into the model of Critical Role is a bad wrong heresy game. It is saying that by trying to play a game in a fashion that copies the core elements of the Critical Role experience, you're going to learn things. You can learn you like something more than you realized. You can learn that you didn't understand something as well as you thought you did. You can realize that the model of something you tried is not for you, but maybe you can tweak it into something great. You can learn that you were right and the idea is not for you and your players.
I have been copying other DMs since the early 1980s. When I go to a convention, or game shop, or watch the internet, I do it with a pen and paper to take notes. I ask DMs about why they did something in the game. I provide a challenge when I see something that I thought did not work (yes - that is hit and miss and some DMs react poorly when you suggest something else could have been done - but some thank you for the suggestion with a smile on their face). Then, when I run my games, I look for opportunities top try the things I saw to see how they work.
And I am a muuuuuuuuuuuuuch better DM than I was in 1980, and I'll be a much better DM in 2060 if I keep it up.
I've learned 1.) better techniques to deal with problematic players, 2.) to use silence as a tool to unsettle players, 3.) to balance encounters through pacing of the encounter, 4.) to use terrain more effectively to make interesting encounters, 5.) to subvert expectations without deceiving, 6.) to anticipate magic as an intelligent NPC would and counter it without dues ex machina, 7.) to let it go when the PCs outsmart me, 8.) to then reward them for ruining all of my plans, 9.) to weave backstories into storylines over time effectively (there are so many tricks to this that I've picked up by watching other DMs.... they all work together beautifully to weave a story around what PCs do instead of weaving the PCs into the story), 10.) to create memorable NPCs, 11.) to make NPCs that are not memorable for specific purposes, 12.) to draw PCs to clues without being obvious, 13.) to be consistent with NPC characterizations and voices (even if it is months and years between when we see that minor NPC), 14.) to help players share spotlight, 15.) to accommodate power gamers and heavy role players in the same group, 16.) how to almost always say "yes", 17.) but when to say "absolutely not", 18.) how to make different monstrous humanoids feel different even if they don't use any mechanical differences, 19.) and how to keep monstrous humanoids from being offensive clichés (and yes - this is something I am putting a lot of effort to further improve), 20.) how to make the world feel real to the players so that they feel like the DM knows what is behind every door, 21.) how to remind players and PCs of pivotal facts at a timely time without making it blisteringly obvious that the BBEG is about to make a surprise return, 22.) how to merge homebrew spells, monsters, items, etc... with established materials, 23.) how to have PCs be given orders without taking player agency, 24.) how to paint better, 25.) how to stage hidden scenery that is meaningful, 26.) where to find great resources for digital tools and physical tools for the game, 27.) subtlety, 29.) misdirection, 28.) the importance of addressing expectations, 30.) how to create suspense through word selection, 31.) when to use the inevitable, 32.) when to toss the work I've done out the window because a PC brought me a better opportunity, 33.) how to use commercial adventures with players that think I don't know they're reading them without calling them out or making it awkward / making them feel punished, 34.) when you've reached the point that you need to ask a player to leave, 35.) when to let people make mistakes, 36.) how to get the PCs to come up with your idea themselves, 37.) how to make a PC feel like a Big Darn Hero, 38.) how to make an NPC twist the knife in a way that leaves players eager to get them, but not angry or sad in the real world, 39.) the characteristics of the game to focus on at each tier of play, 40.) the characteristics of the game to ignore at each level of play, 41.) the 2 magic items that make a game 1000% better, 42.) how to honor the past of a campaign world by allowing former players to have their retired PCs still influence it, 43.) when not to solve a mystery, 44.) how to add texture through simplification, 45.) how to make 'easy' encounters challenging, 46.) how to mix genres effectively, 47.) when to palette cleanse with a one shot side adventure, 48.) when to recommend to a player that a different PC might be more fun for them, 49.) how to make epic monster battles feel epic without just making them deadlier, 50.) to understand the costs of fudging a die roll, 51.) that mercy, as a DM on game day, is more problematic than mercy as a DM between sessions, 52.) how to guide players to the correct rule without telling them they're wrong, 53.) how to bolster confidence in a player, 54.) how to get people to put away their technology at the table (both virtual and in person) without asking, 55.) how to make platers feel good about themselves, 56.) how to crush a PC without crushing a player, 57.) how to celebrate the death/end of a PC, 58.) how to deal with a TPK without negating the significance of it or losing all progress in the story, 59.) how to let PCs fail with real consequences and make it fun, 60.) 20,000 great one liners, 61.) 10 tricks to make PCs want to protect an NPC, 62.) how to make a druid and a nature cleric feel different, 63.) how to make fighters, rogues and other non-magical PCs shine next to powerful spellcasters without making them cartoons, 64.) how to use sleight of hand at the game table to blow minds, 65.) how to deal with romance between PCs, 66.) hot to deal with romance or hatred between players, 67.) how to steal from books, movies, and tv without it being obvious, 68.) how to steal from books, movies and tv and only make it obvious after the PCs realize they're the villains, 69.) how to flip the players world upside down in a good way, etc....
These are all things I remember stealing from other DMs, from Critical Role, or from watching game masters in other ways. And I could go on and on (into the thousands of things I stole), and each of the items above I could talk on for an hour or much, much more.
And just watching it gives you some insight, but trying it out gives you more. Did I mention lengthy and repetitive yet?
