IRON DM 2021 Tournament

I have a feeling I'm getting to get slammed for more than just one ingredient usage. Also, loathe as I am to dip into the same well twice, the "shapeshfter grifter" and "professional killer" clues got me back in that doppleganger murder mystery mindset. This time, on a boat! In a time loop!

I had a lot of fun coming up with this, and ultimately I like it a lot. Is it a great Iron DM entry? I'm not so sure, but my gut tells me no. I got too stuck on several of the ingredients, and I worry I've de-centralized too many of them. My gut's been wrong before though. I haven't read my competition yet, but knowing who it is, I'm fairly certain I didn't do enough to win.

I guess we'll have to see!
 

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Judgment for Round 3, 3rd-Place Match: el-remmen vs Neurotic

Crazy busy week (brother's house burned down) so am setting a judging challenge: one hour to write? One hour to judge! Edit: Posting this exactly 1 hour later. Go me!

Going to play this faster and looser than ever. Also going to be playtesting "Mean Judge" for this judgment; nothing against you, for entertainment purposes only.

Read-only first pass. Write after.

Go.

This sucked less than I expected.

Most of the worst grammar offenses seemed to be piled in early, an outer wall of anti-capitalization with spikes of extra commas and the longest sentence ever complete with a hyphen.

I expected to be disappointed by an adventure about bards and I was disappointed. Mostly because it's about killing bards which in most games I've played is the optimal use for them so you can re-roll something useful.

Let's sum up the adventure: "A group of PCs bards (or worse, bard-wanabees) enter a contest they think is about music but is really about feeding the magic blood box that powers the mecha that lets the king feed more blood to the blood box that will let him conquer his neighbors." And you thought the box caused confusion.

PCs consume poison, may be beaten to death if they aren't funny, and have to pretend like they know cool stuff or die. Like being an Iron DM judge. They also start practically naked and can't leave until the contest is over; more similarities to judging. ;)

Aside from someone having to play a bard, I don't hate this adventure so let's go to ingredients and see if that can be fixed.

Let's make it into an entirely straightforward and non-un-anticonvoluted sentence:
"Fools Rush In to the Feast of Fools, including the PCs and other rando bards engaged in a contest that's really about feeding a Weapon in Waiting Mecha sitting in a Magical Workshop holding the anti-music music box that creates a Fading Dreamscape." Got it? Good.

So the focus is on the contest and the box which none of the ingredients quite center on. Mecha in Waiting in the Magical Workshop that creates a Dreamscape... okay, why does it have to be any of those things? Unicorn to Be Summoned from the Enchanted Grove that creates a Drug Stupor could be swapped in without too much bending.

If the PCs figure out the Feast is poisoned, would see them doing whatever they can to skip it as would anyone else who's not an idiot. Oh wait, these people apparently chose to make bards...

Fools Rush In then wobbles like a drunk at a party full of narcoleptics as the sole "strong" ingredient.

With that butchered judgment, let's move on to

Goody. "The Adventure" starts 60% of the way through the entry after the mini-novel about dream Queen gem Awoken King Mist urines. Just after the section where PCs find out they're imprisoned sucide-soldiers. Hey, at least they get to pick why they're prisoners! Hooray, player choice.

Wait, so they get to make up why they are evil, then they're promised freedom if they do good, then are set free? Why should these evil players help if they're already free? Why not use the nuclear laser robots to conquer Dreamplace? They can't talk about their mission but why not just march their Mist Mecha the direction the Formains came from and leave them to it?

Let's assume that the unlikely-to-be-heroic heroes go along with it. What do they do? Get mission, get geased (always a great way to ensure player compliance), then travel for 10 days through... why 10 days? Does anything happen? Anyway, they get power suits which don't matter because it's the gems needed to beat the ̶T̶r̶a̶d̶e̶ ̶F̶e̶d̶e̶r̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶'s Formian's drone army. Is... is that it?

Maybe I'll be vaguely impressed by the ingredients:

Like the adventure, it looks like these ingredients were pretty much tacked on to the end of the story. We have Mecha as Weapons in Waiting to protect the Fading Dreamscape from Formain Fools that Rush In to become a Feast of Fools for each other while the PCs kill them on their way to bringing a crate full of McGuffins to the Magical Workshop to save the Snorefields.

Feast of Fools Rush in dangles by floss and duct tape. Weapons in Waiting/Mecha are probably made in a workshop, but these are called out as being technological with laser nukes not magical. Focus is also on them being hidden, not waiting (even called out as Hidden Weapons). Why do they have to be Mecha again? How does that tie to dreams?

Fading Dreamscape is the King of this nebulous realm of ingredients, central to and place of action for everything like a dance hall heavy on the dry ice with only a couple nerdy kids at the edge playing with their Transformers.

Drunk guy vs empty dance hall. Fight!

To be fair to both these adventures, I didn't fall asleep and I'm really, really tired right now. Desires to gouge my eyes out never quite manifested into maiming myself into monocular vision either. Two points for both already!

So who wins? I could belabor the point and stretch it out here to build suspense, weighing strengths of this vs high points of that, but these adventures didn't burden me with any of those so it'll go faster.

Fools Rush In reduces the bardic population so it and @el-remmen win.

Dropping Evil Judge persona, some cool stuff in these adventures.

Fools Rush In's mayhem, murder, and backstabbing would make for a great low-level "funnel" style adventure with PCs dying in horrible, funny ways left-and-right then jumping in with one of the background NPCs. The subversion of the premise, the various challenges, suggestions for alliance/deal making, and twist that it's all about feeding the Karne Box is awesome.

Ingredients were a bit weak, but can't expect much more than the first coat on a quick idea for these 1-hour challenges. That you came up with an actual funny, multi-layered, playable adventure in that time is impressive.

The Great Dream suffered from backstoriosis. With the meat of the "adventure" tucked behind the PCs, there's not really that much left for them to do: get mechs, get gems, go home, maybe fight?

That said, I loved the setting with the Mists and guardians. I was hoping they'd be on the border fighting bizarre, horrible incursions from nightmare realms bordering the Kingdom or launching rescue missions to save people from dream invasions by sleep haunts or something. Could be a pretty cool game right there. Unfortunately, it didn't quite make it into the entry in time as cool as the concept is.

Judgment remains the same as above if for different reasons.

I've even played a bard once... because his stats were too godawful to play anything else, sure, but I've done it! Was hoping he'd catch a stray arrow and die, but somehow survived the whole campaign only to have his head cut off and kicked down a mile-deep hole in the final session. C'est la vie.
 
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You complained about lack of sleep on the last judgement. Good luck with the insomnia, whatever the cause. I know it can be debilitating. :(
I hope your relatives are OK, the house can be rebuilt :(

Iron Sky said:
I expected to be disappointed by an adventure about bards and I was disappointed. Mostly because it's about killing bards which in most games I've played is the optimal use for them so you can re-roll something useful.
Click to expand...

LOL :D I actually like bards because you can make anything - and always be useful (but not THE BEST)
I tried in 3.5 (hard), PF (fairly easy with archetypes), 5e (super-easy, primary caster) and PF2 - easy to twist the expectations (CHA penalty dwarf bard? Sure!). Always fun.

Iron Sky said:
Wait, so they get to make up why they are evil, then they're promised freedom if they do good, then are set free? Why should these evil players help if they're already free?
Why not use the nuclear laser robots to conquer Dreamplace? They can't talk about their mission but why not just march their Mist Mecha the direction the Formains came from and leave them to it?
Click to expand...

Obviously, because the gems will explode if they don't help. The King is desperate, not stupid :p


These judgement is funnier than both entries :p
 
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Judgement for the 3rd-Place Match: Neurotic vs. el-remmen

Before I get into the critique of these entries, I want to emphasize for the authors and audience that I have had much more time to analyze these entries than the contestants had to write them. That’s important to keep in mind, because the act of dissecting a work can often seem harsh when taken out of it’s context.

What these contestants were tasked with — and achieved — is something most of us have never even attempted. Myself included.

The very fact that we have two imaginative entries that inspire and are coherently functional is in itself an impressive achievement on the part of both authors.

The critiques that follow are not indicative of a lack of quality. They are simply a necessary part of the process of judgement.

Stakes on Hooks

To sleep, perchance to dream.
Neurotic’s entry, The Great Dream, (“Dream”) gives us a serviceable hook in time-honored tradition of compelling PC prisoners to risk their lives. It works well, and obviously has a tied-in motivation (freedom), but I’m a little disappointed in the implementation.

Specifically, the non-criminal part of the qualifications that the King is looking for are so ubiquitous that I think they would apply to most adventurers with any significant amount of experience behind them. The hook could have been just that and would be better for this adventure specifically, because it would make it easier for this adventure to be used as part of an on-going campaign. Which is something the setting very much wants to be.

As for stakes, these are strong and their effects are felt early and often. This is good for the adventure and would be good for the continuing campaign, if that were likely to happen. I’m not so sure it is, but I’ll revisit that assessment later on.

You gotta fight for your right to bards be.
On the other hand, el-remmen’s entry, Fools Rush In (“Fools”), has a more applicable hook, because it doesn’t assume the PCs are specifically suited for the task they are given. They may be, but if they aren’t, they will be faced with an even more interesting challenge.

Additionally, the hook assumes that the PCs have some helpful information up front (the existence of the magical workshop), which provides the players with a constant goal to work towards should they ever question their next step. And it does so in a non-linear kind of way.

Significantly, much of the necessary expositional underpinnings for the adventure are loaded into the hook. If the PCs know that their task is to thwart the King’s nefarious ambitions, they will also know that he likely doesn’t really intend to end up with a bard at all, particularly one with legal protection.

This means of delivering information is both efficient for the entry and for the DM attempting to run the adventure. Furthermore, the stakes of the adventure are introduced clearly from the very start with the hook and consistently reinforced as the violence of the event steadily increases.

Wherein I’ll catch the un-conscience of two Kings.

Bard to the bone.
”Fools” has a very compelling villain, whom we are given enough insight into to make his malevolent glee a constant presence during the event. This is fun. Add to that the insane reality-show environment that is being deliberately cultivated and the tensions will certainly be high.

The adventure’s structure is basically very solid. Survive a few events, make some alliances, survive some rivals, sneak off to find the workshop, and ultimately defeat the King’s golem. This is a very interesting scenario, strengthened by it’s non-linear presentation and emphasis on player-driven solutions.

Unfortunately, there are a few areas where this doesn’t work out as well. A few of the events very much want some examples to help the DM out. Especially the puzzle competition. As well, the contests that amount to succeeding on skill checks to avoid getting shot seem an ironic combination of lethally punitive and boringly implemented. And I have absolutely no idea how the DM is meant to determine how many laughs a joke gets. Perform check, maybe?

I have more to say, specifically about the implementation of the feast, but it ties in to a couple of ingredients, so I’ll get back to that in due time.

On the whole, a well-conceived and impressively implemented scenario.

Nothing really matters, anyone can see.
“Dream” is less tight an adventure, and certainly has less going on within it. It does have the potential for so much more, but the meat of the adventure is essentially: travel to the border, find the weapon-mecha, fight the formians.

The simplicity of this scenario is not a knock against it. It is a solid structure, and does not expect any specific approach from the PCs, thus avoiding much of the linearity that would likely make such simplicity unsatisfying. I especially like that the travel portion is meant to be an exercise in attrition.

(Although, I note that, between the travel-attrition and the use of formians, this adventure is clearly not meant for 5e D&D, as neither are supported without some work on the DM’s part – which this entry has no help for. That might be important information to call out early on.)

That said: simple, but solid.

And the setting!

“Dream” has inadverdently hit upon a conceit that floods me with fond memories of my first 3e D&D campaign, which was also based around characters native to a Dream constructed by a dreaming deity. Of course, that is a pretty broad superficial similarity, but it turns out that the setting “Dream” gives us is specifically (yet surely coincidentally) tailored to set specifically my imagination on fire!

Since this judgement isn’t about me, I’ll forgo providing details, but I did want to bring my old campaign into this for one specific purpose:

“Dream” has within it a solution to a problem I never was able to fully solve while running that game, lo those many years ago. Specifically, even with charts to help, the constant emphasis on shifting the surreal environment was a mounting improvisational burden on the DM as the campaign progressed.

“Dream” does not preclude such methods, but provides one simple — yet crucial — source of relief. “Dream” hands the power to make small changes within the environment over to the players. Which, while tiny, is also huge. Not only does that take pressure off of the DM’s creativity, it does so in a way that increases the players’ investment into the setting.

When I say that I find this to be elegantly brilliant, understand that I am speaking with the weight of over two decades behind the sentiment.

This is the primary reason that I find the setting wants to be a campaign. The evocative and imaginative details that comprise the setting only reinforce that core truth.

But that’s where the disappointment sets in. Unless I’ve misread it, this adventure seems to nihilistically expect that the PCs will fail to prevent the formians from destroying The Dream. They are endless, and the PCs are not.

I can’t imagine this would be a satisfying conclusion for the players to play through, but besides that, it feels like a great waste of an opportunity to further explore the beautiful concepts and mechanics that the setting has to offer. Oh well.

Ingredients

Fools Rush In

I’m not convinced that the formians in “Dream” count as fools, being controlled by a hive-mind, and all. The dominated or charmed soldiers that fight for them might qualify quite a bit better, however. In either case, this isn’t really relative to the adventure until the very end.

In contrast, “Fools” uses this ingredient as the initial scenario and the multiple definitions of “fools” that are applicable are quite appreciated, as well. Bards hoping to be court jesters rush headlong into a perilous situation despite ample evidence that they should not. And, once they do, they spend much of that time in a hazy dream-state, fighting amongst themselves as their true peril gains in strength.

This is an exceptional ingredient usage.

Mecha

”Fools” has a very interesting golem which the King can store his soul in to wreak havoc on the bards he so hates and, eventually, the neighboring kingdoms he probably isn’t on great terms with, either.

For quite a while I couldn’t figure out why this was a mecha, though, when a remotely controlled golem would be far more practical. After all, the very act of placing his soul into the golem is twice-perilous. The body remains comatose, and the destruction of the golem can’t be good for the inhabiting soul.

Eventually, it occurred to me that this villain doesn’t care about practicality. He is sadistic, malicious, vindictive, and petty. He likely had the magic jar feature built in for the sole reason that he wants to experience the carnage first-hand. He is a delightfully single-minded villain, whom the players will no doubt relish in defeating.

“Dream” provides a collection of mecha that are intended to be used in the upcoming war against the formians. Other than their ability to see into the Mists, I don’t know why these weapons need to be in the form of mecha.

I can think of one reason they could have. If the mecha could protect their operators from the domination and charm effects of their formian foes, this ingredient would make a lot more sense. But we know that they don’t, because our first introduction of one is an attack from a presumably-dominated soldier.

Another one for “Fools”.

Weapon in Waiting

”I also was not quite sure why the mecha in “Dream” have been hidden away for so long. At first. This was tied into my initial confusion as to why the border’s failing needed to be kept secret in the first place.

But it is actually extremely important, because the malleable nature of the setting means that it’s frightened denizens will subtly shape the world with their fears. This effect will be cumulative, and, indeed, may be the actual reason for the dream’s ultimate destruction.

“Fools” uses this ingredient very well. The charging golem is a looming threat for the entire adventure, and the PCs have a chance to find that out early enough to change their approach to defeating it.

Both adventures tie this ingredient in tightly to the stakes of the adventure and I would be inclined to give both equal weight, but for one thing. Ultimately, the weapons in “Dream” won’t matter, if the PCs are doomed to fail anyway.

Thus, this one goes to “Fools”, as well.

Fading Dreamscape

”Fool” uses the fading dreamscape as an interesting complication within the adventure. In particular, this ingredient keeps the fools confused in order to (among other results no doubt amusing to the spectators) ensure that the fools continue to eat after the first feast kills a bunch of them. This is pretty good. It is also tied into the protections around the golem in the workshop, which is also good. That it is fading because its source is charging the golem is also a fun detail to note.

Of course, this is the strongest ingredient in “Dream”, as it is, after all, the setting and stakes for the entire adventure. This ingredient provides the framework and the drive that moves the adventure and is, therefore, excellent.

Feast of Fools

”Dream” does far less well with this one, however. The carrion on the field, first of all, is only a feast of fools inasmuch as the “Fools Rush In” ingredient lived up to its name. Furthermore, the carrion doesn’t particularly seem to serve any purpose, other than scenery.

On the other hand, “Fools” makes the feast an important nightly event that is intended to both thin the crowd and instill an unhealthy (but appropriate) paranoia.

I think it could have been better if, in addition to the randomized lethal poison, all of the other bards’ meals were drugged with hallucinogens. It just seems like that would make more sense than loading so many features into one magical music-box.

But that’s just an idea, and not even a mutually exclusive one. The implementation we have works and matters. Repeatedly. Indeed, the resulting paranoia may even be constant.

Magical Workshop

”Fools” gives us a magic workshop that is central to the action in a couple of ways. First, it is an actual place the PCs can find and encounter the golem (and its protecting music-box) in. Additionally, the PCs will be searching for it from the very start, so it’s existence will be be present in their minds, even before they locate it.

Superficially, the magical workshops in both entries serve a similar purpose for their Kings, but the one in “Dream” doesn’t really play into the actual adventure.

Even if the PCs can visit it (which seems unlikely or impossible), they don’t need to, as they will be given dream-gems by the king (which, by the way, can they even use against the Mist?). And I don’t know what they would do there if they did visit.

Another ingredient for “Fools.”
.
.
.
…Which brings us to…

As much as I love the setting “Dream” has given us, and as functional as the adventure within it is, I do think that “Fools” is a well-conceived adventure that has quite a lot for the players to do packed within it’s castle walls. The strong ingredient-use seals the deal.

Let’s see what the other judges have to say…



…The judges are fully aligned, for once!

@Neurotic, this time around, I do think maybe I have some advice for your future attempts. You have consistently shown in your works a skillful and imaginative mind. In this very quick entry, you have also given us a glimpse of brilliance.

I would suggest that you embrace your strengths. When you have an idea that has the potential to be transcendent (as you did within this entry), lean into it! Develop it. Build your entry around it. Give it a chance to flourish!

I very much look forward to seeing you compete in future tournaments.

This time, by unanimous decision, @el-remmen wins this 3rd-place match of The IRON DM 2021 Tournament!
 

Neurotic said:
You complained about lack of sleep on the last judgement. Good luck with the insomnia, whatever the cause. I know it can be debilitating. :(
I hope your relatives are OK, the house can be rebuilt :(
Click to expand...
Sleep normally not a problem, just had a ton of balls in the air and stress (trying to find a new venue for my business when rents are now 60% more for 60% of the space in worse locations) before his place burned and tossed another couple balls in. Fortunately he lives alone and the firemen got him out before he died. Check your smoke alarms; his was dead and nearly so to was he.

Insurance set over a decade ago when homes were far, far cheaper and brother never thought to get it updated. Total value may not even be enough for down payment on a new place now. :/

Thanks for your concern. We'll get through and figure something out somehow!

Side note, will try to get to the final matches later this week.
 

I'm just going to say this regarding the excellent entries we have been seeing-

When bards lose, everyone wins!

Now, I think I have to start work on my Bard/Paranoia mashup; I'm fairly certain that Bards will make excellent troubleshooters.


PS- I saw your update as I was posting this. @Iron Sky ... that's a lot to deal with. I think we all forget that it's not just the pandemic, it's a lot of the knock-on effects that people are dealing with. Stress is high. Hope you (and your fam) keep doing well, and that you get some measure of solace, and not added stress, from this. :)
 

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