The "I Didn't Comment in Another Thread" Thread

[CleverNickName]

This whole response is brilliant, but this last parting shot?

Also? Pineapple.

That is just

 

[payn]

Now you're just rubbing salt in the wound.

That is clearly a pepperoni hot pocket

lol, it gets better with this dude. One of my friends was his roommate. They had one of those toaster ovens that can cook a French bread pizza and pretty much nothing bigger. Guy ate 2/3 of his meals out of it. One Christmas eve my buddy comes home from visiting his family to see the toaster over completely charred and sitting in the hallway by their door. He walks in to be verbally assaulted by the dude because he didnt use enough tinfoil and wrecked the toaster. Not only that but ruined his family Christmas because he couldn't make any Totinos pizza rolls...

 

[Cadence]

I don't see how calling all pineapple pizza bad is any different than things we're apparently fine with like dunking on tuna pizza or belittling ketchup on hotdogs. In fact I like all three of those foods. It's when they're done poorly and take away the eaters ability to enjoy the tastes that I think we all agree there is a problem.

So anyway, I really don't understand how someone can claim that any flat food with layers on it (and a single side up), or any v-shaped food delivery system, doesn't have a problem with poor taste delivery*.

* Clearly a well constructed sandwich is optimal compared to either one of these. Merely by turning it upside down the eater can completely change the taste profile through exercise of their free will, and not be bound by a single choice given them by a would-be Gordon Ramsay.

 

[eyeheartawk]

Not only that but ruined his family Christmas because he couldn't make any Totinos pizza rolls...

Now, THIS is a man I can respect.

Also, I will die on the hill that Totino's party pizzas are just ketchup and cheese on a saltine.

I will also die on the hill that as a 36 year old man I unironically enjoy them.

 

[CleverNickName]

lol, it gets better with this dude. One of my friends was his roommate. They had one of those toaster ovens that can cook a French bread pizza and pretty much nothing bigger. Guy ate 2/3 of his meals out of it. One Christmas eve my buddy comes home from visiting his family to see the toaster over completely charred and sitting in the hallway by their door. He walks in to be verbally assaulted by the dude because he didnt use enough tinfoil and wrecked the toaster. Not only that but ruined his family Christmas because he couldn't make any Totinos pizza rolls...

 

[Snarf Zagyg]

I will also die on the hill that as a 36 year old man I unironically enjoy them.

I will die on the hill that I unironically enjoy anything.

 

[Gradine]

There's a guy in my gaming group, let's call him Kevin, who sabotaged an entire gaming session because he would not, under any circumstances, contribute to the pizza order. His reason? The three-pizza order contained a single plain cheese pizza. This was such an affront to his sensibilities that, upon hearing about the cheese-only pizza that another player had requested, he withdrew his contribution to the pizza dinner and refused to contribute until this oh-so-serious issue had been addressed to his satisfaction. (He had already gotten to choose the toppings on one of the other three pizzas, so he was already getting the toppings he wanted.)

I know I banter a lot about pizza as a metaphor in this thread, but not this time. I wish I was making this up, but it really did happen. This is about a real pizza order, and my real gaming group, with real people.

So I did what the DM is supposed to do: I kept trying to de-escalate the situation and bring everyone to a compromise, but Kevin was having none of it. He kept doubling down until he was eventually threatening to cancel the gaming session altogether. We had no choice but to remove the offending "pointless" pizza from the order and replace it with something "worth eating" (Kevin's words, not mine) just to salvage the night. And when the pizzas arrived, he didn't even touch that pepperoni-only pizza that he had fought so hard for. It became clear to everyone at the table that this wasn't about Kevin getting what he wanted; it was about someone disagreeing with Kevin.

It was the worst, and dumbest, fight our gaming group has ever had. And as you can imagine, it put everyone in a terrible mood for the whole evening and several evenings after. Imagine the scene from my side of the DM screen: a half-dozen sour faces and hunched shoulders, growling at each other and chewing like a bunch of feral cats, unable to concentrate or work together...and all because of what a pizza didn't have on it.

Even now, years later, that particular game night lives on in infamy...we joke about the "Plain Cheese Incident" all the time, even making fake concert posters riffing on The String Cheese Incident to mark the occasion. The passing of time has smoothed things over for us, thankfully, but God as my witness, this group will never, ever split a pizza order again.

Sorry for the weird tangent. Anyway, here's my recipe for homemade classic cheese pizza

Fixed that for you

 

[J.Quondam]

View attachment 259550

I'd be curious to know how much of that violent crime was "armed robbery of an ice cream parlor."
Also, how do snow cones fit into this?
Inquiring minds....

 

[Ryujin]

There's a guy in my gaming group, let's call him Kevin, who sabotaged an entire gaming session because he would not, under any circumstances, contribute to the pizza order. His reason? The three-pizza order contained a single plain cheese pizza. This was such an affront to his sensibilities that, upon hearing about the cheese-only pizza that another player had requested, he withdrew his contribution to the pizza dinner and refused to contribute until this oh-so-serious issue had been addressed to his satisfaction. (He had already gotten to choose the toppings on one of the other three pizzas, so he was already getting the toppings he wanted.)

I know I banter a lot about pizza as a metaphor in this thread, but not this time. I wish I was making this up, but it really did happen. This is about a real pizza order, and my real gaming group, with real people.

So I did what the DM is supposed to do: I kept trying to de-escalate the situation and bring everyone to a compromise, but Kevin was having none of it. He kept doubling down until he was eventually threatening to cancel the gaming session altogether. We had no choice but to remove the offending "pointless" pizza from the order and replace it with something "worth eating" (Kevin's words, not mine) just to salvage the night. And when the pizzas arrived, he didn't even touch that pepperoni-only pizza that he had fought so hard for. It became clear to everyone at the table that this wasn't about Kevin getting what he wanted; it was about someone disagreeing with Kevin.

It was the worst, and dumbest, fight our gaming group has ever had. And as you can imagine, it put everyone in a terrible mood for the whole evening and several evenings after. Imagine the scene from my side of the DM screen: a half-dozen sour faces and hunched shoulders, growling at each other and chewing like a bunch of feral cats, unable to concentrate or work together...and all because of what a pizza didn't have on it.

Even now, years later, that particular game night lives on in infamy...we joke about the "Plain Cheese Incident" all the time, even making fake concert posters riffing on The String Cheese Incident to mark the occasion. The passing of time has smoothed things over for us, thankfully, but God as my witness, this group will never, ever split a pizza order again.

Sorry for the weird tangent. Anyway, here's my hot take on a devout Fighter who prays for help...

Had a pizza incident in my own group, back in college. We'd been playing for a few hours and when it came to dinner, we started discussing what we were going to get on the pizzas. After we'd been discussing it for a few minutes one of the guys disappeared, we thought to the washroom. He came back after a few minutes and said that he'd ordered for us all and wanted to collect. Trustingly we all kicked in. He ordered one large pizza, for 6 hungry geeks, from some high end place. Less than a slice apiece.

The rest of us ordered from an OK 3-for-1 joint. Got 3 pizzas that while not on par with his, were not bad at all, for less than the one he'd ordered. He was not asked to contribute and was not offered any.

He tried doing this once again, at another session, but was told, "Sorry, you're on your own."

 

[CleverNickName]

Some sound advice for everyone who is struggling to Not Comment in Another Thread^TM.