I don't see much correlation between the two. One is who makes the final call on rulings and world building. It pretty explicitly has nothing to do with control of what the PCs do. The other is ignoring what the PCs do because you didn't like it and forcing them to "fix it" by playing the way you want.
The through line is a strong divide in DM/player "responsibilities." The DM having full control of the world, but almost none of the PCs.
The weirdness here is the OPs description of strong control over both through railroading/force/illusionism. Yet the plot still going completely pear shaped.
The real solution of just sitting down and having a chat about what kind of game they want and what kind of game the DM wants to run is also unrelated.
I've suggested the very same solution in this thread. The OP doesn't seem to like it.