The "I Didn't Comment in Another Thread" Thread

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Every so often I quote the old Usenet admins’s line about “a crowd armed with stout truncheons, industriously flailing away at a dry spot of ground where six months ago there were the greasy remains of what had once been a horse”. This later got amended to “six years ago”.

I am reasonably certain that there are commenters whose only goal in life is to join conversations so that they can bring in their own horse, and delight as they watch it get beaten again.
 

I am reasonably certain that there are commenters whose only goal in life is to join conversations so that they can bring in their own horse, and delight as they watch it get beaten again.
If they did that in Toronto they'd be arrested, because I believe it's still illegal to drag a dead horse down Yonge Street.
 

I am reasonably certain that there are commenters whose only goal in life is to join conversations so that they can bring in their own horse, and delight as they watch it get beaten again.
But seriously though, can we talk about the Fighter? I know I've mentioned it several times already, but people still aren't agreeing with me for some reason.
 

I am reasonably certain that there are commenters whose only goal in life is to join conversations so that they can bring in their own horse, and delight as they watch it get beaten again.
I wish I weren’t so sure you’re right.

But seriously though, can we talk about the Fighter? I know I've mentioned it several times already, but people still aren't agreeing with me for some reason.
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But seriously though, can we talk about the Fighter? I know I've mentioned it several times already, but people still aren't agreeing with me for some reason.

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My, my, my, my
(Caster can't touch this)
Fighter hits you so hard
Makes the Cleric say "Oh, my Lord!"
Thank you for blessing me
With more hit points and two extra feats
You know that a wizard is such a clown
Can't wield a greatsword for a great big beatdown
Fighter will give you that much
Casters know that, uh, you can't touch
 
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F: "It's so unfair!"

W: "How do you mean?"

F: "Everywhere I go, people keep comparing me to you."

W: "Here we go. What happened this time?"

F: "Someone on the internet said that me, jumping thirty feet into the air and punching a dragon so hard it turns into a chicken, is 'unrealistic' and 'absurd.' But if you do it..."

W: "It's magical and amazing?"

F: "...it's magical and amazing, right. It's so unfair!"

W: "Sounds like you're the one making the comparison."

F: "What?"

W: "Nevermind. So let me get this straight. You want to be able to jump thirty feet into the air."

F: "Yes."

W: "And turn dragons into chickens."

F: "Yes. By punching them, that's important."

W: "It really isn't, but whatever. And you want people to take you seriously, and stop making fun of you for it."

F: "Yes! You do understand!"

W: "Have you tried not calling yourself a Fighter?"

F: "...what?"

W: "The word 'Fighter' has a lot of connotations associated with it, and those connotations are shaping peoples' expectations. Like when someone mentions oatmeal, it conjures up images of--"

F: "Blah blah, get to the point."

W: "My point is, you could just call yourself something else. Maybe a Fist Mage, or Monk of the Chicken-Fist, or BoomCluck, The Flying Knuckle, whatever. Anything but Fighter."

F: "But how will that force people to change their ideas of what a Fighter is?"

W: "Oh that's easy: it won't."

F: "It won't?"

W: "Nope. Not even a little bit."

F: "Let's just see about that, shall we? To the internet!"

W: "Good luck, BoomCluck."
 


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