All this begins with this entry on Nat Wyler’s Bell in the city of Phlan in the Moonsea.
This small inn is little more then an ale-soaked dive with a large common sleeping room above it. People with few coins in their pockets can gorge on bland food, drown in cheap ale, then stagger upstairs to sleep it off. The biggest attraction in Wyler’s Bell is Old Nat himself… though he’s been dead for 20 years. His body, a masterpiece of mortuary art, occupies a prominent place behind the bar, and his hands clutch a large bronze bell. The new owner is a mischievous gnome named Gnahac Gnarlnose.
This is the story as DM’d by my wife in our campaign:
Gnahac Gnarlnose, was mired in debt and was refusing to pay his creditors. One being a priest named Vilek. The priest decided to seek his revenge by raising the mounted corpse of Nat Wyler from the dead in the hopes that the resulting chaos might ruin Gnahac’s business. Unfortunately for them both, the undead Nat Wyler was not as easy to control as Vilek had assumed he would be.
Nat achieved his undead state only very late at night. The zombified Wyler began to ransack Phlanian businesses, seemingly at random. His first stop had been the Half a Loaf bakery, followed by Jerome’s General Store, then the Gilded Lily. Though he made a real mess, he only stolen one thing from each: a pair of apple muffins, a handkeg of ale, and a small box of talcum powder. Even stranger were the eye-witness reports of a tall stumbling man who stank of kitchen herbs (as the incidents took place on particularly dark evenings in the dead of night, nobody got a really clear look at Nat). Because Nat Wyler was habitually returning to his former inn after each of his outings, Gnahac Gnarlnose knew what was happening, but was refusing to speak lest the truth become known.
Needless to say, it all came out on Nat Wyler’s fourth walk. That evening he had stumbled to the house of a woman whom he had known while still alive. The woman was long dead, but her great-niece was residing there and she received quite a fright to find the undead Nat in her home. The situation was ultimately resolved when the Falling Leaves adventuring party lured Nat Wyler, with his own bell, into The Waiting where the priests of Tyr were able to return him to peaceful sleep.
At the time of this adventure, the party was around 3rd level. Now years have passed, the group is 18th level, but this is still our most famous deed. Bards wrote songs about it, puppet shows were put on, etc… it all finally led to an extravagant musical and opera put on by the bard’s college of New Olamn in Waterdeep. The Falling Leaves (our adventuring party) was invited to the first dress rehearsal, and so the game started…
My wife wrote the musical (with edits and the opera pieces by me) and I made a soundtrack for the entire thing (including trying to perfectly match all the music to the lyrics), and a flyer
. The musical takes ALOT of liberties with the "facts", much to the amusement of our players. Anyway, when we got to the part of the game that the opera was to take place I handed everyone their lines. Being the evil DM that I am, I made everyone act out the entire play (my own bad singing/acting included). Well, it was one of the most fun and amazing nights in gaming we’ve had.
I thought long and hard about posting this on the net, thinking that all the jokes and such would be lost to those that don’t know the entire story, but perhaps not. We’ll see…
Nat Wyler: An Unlife of Love
Announcer: Welcome Lords and Ladies, lads and lassies, dames and gents! The New Olamn College of Waterdeep welcomes you to the first performance of what is surely to become one of our greatest masterpieces! It is an epic tale of woe and peril, of heroism, and of love. It is the tragic story of the Pirate Prince Natalius Wyler, and of the gallant heroes, the Falling Leaves, who saved him from an eternity of enslavement at the hands of a villain most foul and devious. And so, our most wonderful audience, we present: Nat Wyler: An Unlife of Love
Act I: Natalius Wyler, Pirate Prince
Scene I: At sea, aboard the Sembian ship: The Lustrous Lady.
[The stage is dark, the curtain down. Spotlight on Nym of the Blue Hair.]
Nym of the Blue Hair: [Opera Score]
Allow a fledgling bard bring you a tale,
Of the once-heir of the sea of stars that fell,
From whence his kingdom stretched bow to stern,
It’s bell ringing a corsairs’ cry,
For those of cruel and dire minds
[End Opera Score and Nym of the Blue Hair exits. As the curtain fully opens, at the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “At sea, aboard the Sembian ship: The Lustrous Lady”. The stage shows a half deck and sails, a bright blue sky has been painted on the back curtain. On stage are Natalius, who stands at the stern as Jama and another bucaneer bring forth the battered Sembian merchant Gorgstag.]
Natalius Wyler: Stand, you corpulent cur, and present what treasures are due me!
Merchant Gorstag: Alas, my ship scuttled by you accursed pirates, my beautiful robes ruined, and you dare demand my money!
Natalius Wyler: Your money, you say? That money belongs to every poor farmer you’ve enslaved, every customer you’ve swindled, and to every man and woman who labors away beneath your greedy yoke! That money is theirs and I, Natalius Wyler, shall give it to them!
Merchant Gorstag: How dare you! That money is mine! I earned it with my own slaves’ two hands!
I was just a little boy when my father died.
Nobody cared about the way I felt inside.
My mother never loved me.
My brother she put above me.
I couldn’t win a smile if I tried! So I cheated.
All: So you cheated.
Merchant Gorstag: So I stole.
All: So you stole.
Merchant Gorstag:
So I lied!
And Slaving was the only thing that gave me joy or pride!
First Mate Jama: If I were you, I’d run and hide.
Merchant Gorstag:
When I finally came of age, I had my mother killed!
My brother I sold to distant Thay!
Nobody could stop me from doing what I willed!
If they tried, their filthy skin I’d flay!
Natalius Wyler: For that I’m going to toss you in the bay!
Merchant Gorstag:
You don’t dare! You wouldn’t! The sea is deep and big!
The sharks will eat me, why not beat me
and throw me in the brig?
Natalius Wyler: Now whyever would I do that? I have no room for you, you pig!
Merchant Gorstag: But you cannot be so merciless, you cannot be so cruel!
Natalius Wyler:
He’s right, I’m not a heartless man, whatever shall I do?
He’s surely vile, killing, taking slaves;
but I’m not so cold and callous as to toss him to the waves!
Whatever shall I do with him, this man, this louse, this fiend?
He’s certainly the most devious man that I have ever seen!
Merchant Gorstag: I am the most devious man that you have ever seen!
Natalius Wyler:
I’ll spare you, Merchant Gorstag, and I’ll not toss you overboard!
I shall not hang you from my mast, nor pierce you with my sword!
But mark my words, you scummy rat, should I catch you one more time…
Merchant Gorstag: I’ve changed, I swear! I’m giving up my life of violent crime!
Natalius Wyler: Then charity I’ll give you: a rope to be tied with, a dingy to sail, and my hopes that the winds take you back from where you hail! [Laughs]
[Curtain falls]
Scene 2: At sea, aboard Natalius Wyler’s ship: The Belle of the Deep.
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “At sea, aboard Natalius Wyler’s ship: The Belle of the Deep.” The curtain opens to the deck of the Belle, a turbulent and dark sky has been painted on the back curtain. Natalius Wyler and First Mate Jama are on stage, inspecting the ship, while three buccaneers are busy working around them.]
Natalius Wyler: I don’t know, Jama. Giving Gorstag his just desserts was fun, but the fire within me is now but embers.
First Mate Jama: Fire, sir, where?
Natalius Wyler: Do you not feel the thrill of having seen the enemy’s ship in the horizon, Jama? Do you not feel the wind’s call? Do you not marvel at the beauty of a billowing sail, like petticoats one cannot help but admire, and wonder at what is hidden within them?
First Mate Jama: Yes, quite a sight. You mentioned a fire, sir?
Natalius Wyler: How I once longed for those bright-eyed maidens who waited ashore. All those alluring petticoats of red, green, blue, and every color of this world. But brightest white was always right for me.
First Mate Jama: Where is the fire, sir?
Natalius Wyler: Pure as snow they were and as beautiful as any maiden who wore them. But it’s been so long and all those maidens are married! All that white, withered to grey.
First Mate Jama: I take it there is no fire, sir?
Natalius Wyler: Yes, the fire is gone, for all save one. In my dreams I see a maid whose beauty outshines even the brightest forge-fires!
I see her in my dreams, but only in my dreams.
Her tresses they are spun from gold, her loving embrace is never cold.
She’s in my dreams, but only in my dreams.
Her eyes they shine like Selune’s tears, her smiles chase away all my fears.
But she’s in my dreams, She’s only in my dreams!
Her voice like an angel in my dreams
[Curtain falls]
Scene 3: Mulmaster Harbor.
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “Mulmaster Harbor” The curtain opens to a wooden dock, the city and nearby ships are painted on the back curtain. Natalius Wyler, First Mate Jama, and the Dockhand are on stage.]
Natalius Wyler: This isn’t the Sea of Fallen Stars! This isn’t the Sembian coast! We’ve been blown way off course!
Dockhand: Yer in Mulmaster, and mind yer tongue!
Natalius Wyler: Mulmaster!
First Mate Jama: Yes, sir.
Natalius Wyler: All the way from Vhauntan Bay! As if the gods themselves plucked The Belle of the Deep from the sea and then brought us here, but look Jama! What is that?
[Enter Royal Guards, Princess Marcella, and King Nesker]
Royal Guard: Make way for the royal procession of Nesker, Sorcerer-King! You there! Pirate! Get out of the way!
Natalius Wyler: Look, Jama. I remember when I had a royal procession, but I never had such a marvelous white petticoat!
[Princess Marcella gasps loudly]
Natalius Wyler: That’s her, the woman in my dreams!
Princess Marcella: It’s him, the man in my dreams!
[Exit Royal Guards, Princess Marcellea, and King Nesker]
Natalius Wyler: It’s her! Those golden curls, those ruby lips! I must know who she is!
Dockhand: Princess Marcella, that be. If yer knowin’ what’s good fer ye, you’ll ferget ye ever saw her!
Natalius Wyler: Why? Tell me!
Dockhand: She’s a Princess wit’ an evil father, and ye’re a sloven pirate wit’ a dunce fer a first mate.
[First Mate Jama nods knowingly]
Natalius Wyler: A Princess! She’s a Princess! The woman of my dreams!
Dockhand: If’n ye try to talk to her, we’ll be listning to yer screams!
Natalius Wyler: A princess, she’s a princess! Her beauty’s beyond compare!
Dockhand: The guards’ll hang ye by the neck if at her ye stare!
Natalius Wyler: A princess! She’s the Princess that I’ve been searching for!
Dockhand: Yer pieces they’ll be lying on a cold stone floor!
Natalius Wyler: But I have to have her!
Dockhand: No, ye don’t.
Natalius Wyler: I have to meet her!
Dockhand: Are ye nuts?
Natalius Wyler: She must be mine!
Dockhand: I’m getting’ outta here before they flay me too.
[Exit Dockhand]
Natalius Wyler: Princess Marcella! I love you!
[Exit Natalius Wyler]
First Mate Jama: Yes, sir.
[Curtain falls]
Scene 4: Princess Marecella’s Chambers
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “Prince Marcella’s Chambers” The curtain opens to a luxurious bedroom. Princess Marcella is on stage.]
Princess Marcella: I saw him, I know I did! He was standing there on the docks! He looked exactly as he does in my dreams! He was so handsome! So dashing! It’s as if Sune had answered my prayers!
I saw him in my dreams, but only in my dreams.
A man so kind and full of love surely sent from the gods above.
He was in my dreams, but only in my dreams.
His dashing smile, his gentle charm, the way he protected me from harm.
Oh he was in my dreams…
Father!
[Enter King Nesker]
King Nesker:
What is this I hear about some man.
A pirate not worthy of your hand.
I’ll whip him till he cannot stand,
and then cast his pieces from my land!
Princess Marcella: Father no!
King Nesker:
My guards will find him! Yes they’ll find him!
And they will kill him! Yes they’ll kill him!
Maybe grill him! I’m such a villain!
His guts will soon be spilling!
[Exit King Nesker]
[Enter Natalius Wyler through the window]
Natalius Wyler: Princess Marcella! I am Natalius Wyler, pirate prince of the Sea of Fallen Stars, and I love you!
Princess Marcella: Oh Natalius! I love you too, but my father will kill you! You need to leave!
Natalius Wyler: I will not leave you, Marcella!
Come away with me aboard my ship and we’ll go away together!
Princess Marcella:
Oh Natalius, I love you so! I’d stay with you forever!
But where’ll we go? I’ll have you know,
I’ve never left this city!
Natalius Wyler: I’ll take you my dear, to a place that’s nice and pretty!
Princess Marcella: Then hurry we will away from this place, and far away from my father!
Natalius Wyler: I’ll give up my ship and we’ll build an inn and live happy forever after!
[Curtain falls]
Act 2: A King’s Revenge
Scene 1: In Phlan, at Nat Wyler’s Bell
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “In Phlan, at Nat Wyler’s Bell” The curtain opens to a common room, on stage are Nat Wyler, Marcella Wyler, and four barmaids who are cleaning.]
Barmaids: [Opera Score]
And so they fled west across the sea
To marry, and a new life plan,
In the once again rebuilt town of Phlan.
The timbers of Nat’s ship they turned,
To an inn innocuously named,
Nat Wyler’s Bell.
Yet still that corsair’s bell rang,
Not for battle, but for those who drank.
[End Opera Score and exit Barmaids]
Nat Wyler: Life has truly blessed us!
Marcella Wyler: Yes it has, Nat. I’m so glad we left. I’m so happy here!
Nat Wyler:
Our life has been so good,
just like we knew it would.
Day or night, everything’s right.
Nothing’d go wrong if it could!
Marcella Wyler:
Our life has been so wonderful!
It couldn’t be better if it tried!
Every sun that rises, brings wondrous new surprises!
It’s so heavenly to be Nat Wyler’s bride!
Nat Wyler:
And our life is beautiful!
Our inn is a success and soon we will be blessed!
Marcella Wyler: A little Nat just like we desired! Nothing in the world can keep us from smiling!
[The curtain parts further to show King Nesker peering through a crystal ball]
King Nesker: Nothing eh? You may think so, but you have no idea of what is coming! Smile while you can, Nat, you’ll soon be running! A dragon I’ve sent to kill your dreams! Death comes Natalius, on scaly wings! I can plainly see! When you’re dead Marcella will come home to me!
[Curtain falls]
Scene 2: The Market Square in Phlan.
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “The Markest Square in Phlan” The curtain opens to sparse market place with a white cloudy sky painted on the back curtain. Nat Wyler, Marcella Wyler, and a few merchants are on stage.]
Marcella Wyler: Oh Nat, look at how lovely the day is! My favorite flowers are blooming and our baby will be here soon!
Nat Wyler: Our life is perfect, Marcella, and soon it will be even more perfect. But wait, what’s that sound?
[Enter Bloodmaw the Red Dragon, laughing]
Nat Wyler: Have at thee, you red-scaled scourge! You shall never kill me for I am Natalius Wyler, Pirate Prince of the Sea of Fallen Stars!
Marcella Wyler: Nat no! Run, Nat, Please!
[Bloodmaw the Red Dragon laughs]
Bloodmaw the Red Dragon: You are not a Prince anymore! You’re a paunchy old innkeeper who will taste good sliding down my gullet!
Nat Wyler: How dare you call me paunchy!
[Bloodmaw the Red Dragon and Nat Wyler fight a fierce battle, before Nat Wyler finally stabs Bloodmaw in the side]
Nat Wyler: Hah! Take that lizard!
Bloodmaw the Red Dragon: Damn you, this is not over! You have sorely wounded me, but I shall wound you all the more!
[Bloodmaw the Red Dragon grabs a screaming Marcella Wyler]
Marcella Wyler: No! Nat, save me!
Nat Wyler: Drop my wife you vile fiend!
Bloodmaw the Red Dragon: You pitiful little fleshbag! She is mine now!
[Exit Bloodmaw the Red Dragon and Marcella Wyler]
Nat Wyler: Marcella! No!
[The curtain parts further to show King Nesker, laughing, peering through a crystal ball]
King Nesker: Now Bloodmaw shall use his sorcery to remove her unborn child, bring my daughter to me, and Nat Wyler will die trying to save her!
Nat Wyler: No!
It has taken my precious Marcella!
To parts unknown she is gone!
But I will find her! I’m right behind her!
I swear upon my parent’s graves that Marcella I will save!
That dragon will regret what it has done!
[Exit Nat Wyler]
[Curtain falls]
Scene 3: Bloodmaw’s Lair.
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “Bloodmaw’s Lair”. The curtain opens to a dark and rocky cave. A snoring Bloodmaw the Red Dragon and the unmoving Marcella Wyler are on stage.]
[Enter Nat Wyler]
Nat Wyler: At last! I’ve found my Marcella and the accursed dragon that took her!
[Bloodmaw the Red Dragon snores loudly]
Nat Wyler: I shall destroy it and then Marcella will be free!
[Nat Wyler creeps up to Bloodmaw the Red Dragon ans slays it]
Nat Wyler: The monster is dead! He shall trouble us no more! But Marcella, why do you not wake? Why do you not even stir?
[Nat Wyler touches Marecella Wyler]
Nat Wyler: Why are you so cold? Surely you aren’t… no! You can’t be! My Marcella is dead!
[The curtain parts further to show King Nesker peering through a crystal ball]
King Nesker: Marcella has died? No! How can this be? I told Bloodmaw not kill her! What have I done? What have I done! I cannot live without my beautiful Marcella!
[King Nesker dies of grief while Nat Wyler inspects Marcella’s body]
Nat Wyler: Oh my dear Marcella, you are dead! But no wounds mar you, surely the dragon didn’t kill you! And where, where is our baby? Our baby is gone, taken from us!
My wife is gone. Marcella has gone.
With the angels now you sing, where all beautiful things
surround thee!
All the flowers e’er grown,
the finest clothes ever sown,
everything that you should’ve owned.
You’re there in heaven, you’re in heaven, so far from me…
[Curtain falls]
Act 3: The Unlife of Nat Wyler
Scene 1: Zelkratis’ Mansion
[Enter The Falling Leaves, in front of the still closed curtain]
The Falling Leaves: [Opera Score]
Years have passed, years have passed…
And I tell once again of Ole’ Nat,
Twenty years dead, but was so liked
That they shellacked him, nice and bright.
With his bell he has now gone,
To a gnome that gambles and groans.
About the years that have gone and passed,
Years that have passed, years have passed…
[End Opera Score and exit The Falling Leaves. At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “Zelkratis’ Mansion” The curtain opens to a luxurious dining room, on stage are Gnahac Gnarlnose and Zelkratis.]
Gnahac Gnarlnose: It's all I have left, give me more time! You can't take my inn!
Zelkratis: I have already given you enough time to pay your debts to me, Gnarlnose. The Gods may be patient, but I am not. I will, however, be merciful. You can keep your inn, but you will give me the rest of my money.
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Thank you, Zelkratis! I will have your money by next week!
Zelkratis: You will have it in three days!
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Yes! I will have it I swear!
[Exit Gnahac Gnarlnose and Zelkratis laughs.]
Zelkratis: That fool!
It’s clear he thinks I’ll fall for his tricks, but I am a much smarter man!
Try to cheat me, he will, but I’ll triumph still, for I have a sinister plan!
This human-like skin, these robes that I’m in, they make a magnificent guise!
But he doesn’t know, no he’ll never know I’m really a beast in disguise!
I’m a dragon! A red dragon! I’m here to exact my revenge!
My brother, Bloodmaw! Nat Wyler slew him! His murder I’m sure to avenge!
I’m almost too clever for words!
I know that he’s dead, so vengeance instead will occur by a means so horrific!
The blood and the screams, as he rips and he reams, oh the carnage! It’ll be so terrific! He’ll be a zombie! A mindless zombie! Nat Wyler who once sought to defend! He’ll be my puppet, and I’ll command him to devour, to tear, and to rend!
[Zelkratis laughs.]
Phlan will despair, but there’s no one there who can stop the fiend I’ve created!
They’ll weep and they’ll wail, but will not prevail! They’ll pray for him soon to be sated! I’ll make him do things so crude and depraved
that it’ll have a dozen paladins spinning in their graves!
I’ll go there now and cast that dreadful spell. Soon Phlan will know true terror!
[Curtain falls]
Scene 2: The Market Square in Phlan
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “The Markest Square in Phlan” The curtain opens to sparse market place with a white cloudy sky painted on the back curtain. A nearby shop is marked with a large sign proclaiming “Exotic Baths”. Several Phlanian Guards and Townsfolk are on stage.]
Phlanian Guard: None one saw who did it, but it had to be someone with strength.
Townsfolk: There must be someone who can do something!
[Enter the Falling Leaves]
Phlanian Guard: Lo! Who goes there? It’s a band of wandering heroes!
The Falling Leaves: We’re merry adventurers and we’re here to solve your problems!
Mattathias the Pure: What has happened here, good villager?
Townsfolk: Not only has this bath shop been ransacked, but also the general store and the bakery. No one knows who will be next, but we’re all very vexed!
The Falling Leaves:
We’ve ventured far and we’ve ventured wide,
we fight together side by side,
and we’re fearless and we’re peerles!
We’re hero personified!
Katar the Centaur: There’s no enemy we can’t defeat!
Verekai the Fiery: No challenge we’re too afraid to meet!
Mithras the Forlorn: No monster that we cannot overcome!
Nym of the Blue Hair: We’ll soon go out attacking!
Nydia the Sorceress: We’ll send this creep a’packing!
Mattathias the Pure: Just watch! We will make this villain run!
Townsfolk: Hooray! We’re saved!
[Curtain falls]
Scene 3: Nat Wyler’s Bell
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “Nat Wyler’s Bell”. The curtain opens to a smashed common room. On stage is the stiff body of Dead Nat Wyler holding a bell, two Hoodlums smashing the place and Gnahac Gnarlnose is hiding behind the bar.]
1st Hoodlum: Feel like paying up yet?
2nd Hoodlum: Yeah, huh huh, or do we have to break more stuff, like your face?
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Please! I’ll give Zelkratis his money! I swear! Stop trashing my inn!
1st Hoodlum: I like trashing the inn, huh huh.
[Enter The Falling Leaves]
3rd Hoodlum: Hey! Who are you?
Mattathias the Pure: My name is Mattathias and I am here to put a stop to your crimes! Put down your weapons and I won’t be forced to thrash you!
2nd Hoodlum: Let’s get him!
[The Hoodlums and the Falling Leaves battle. Exit Hoodlums]
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Thank you! You’ve saved my inn!
Mattathias the Pure: All in a day’s work, good innkeeper! Why were they destroying this fine establishment?
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Umm, I don’t know really. They don’t like Gnomes I think!
[Enter Marecella’s Ghost]
Marcella’s Ghost: Falling Leaves, you must hear me! I am a ghost, but I am here to help you.
Nym of the Blue Hair: A ghost!
Verekai the Fiery: A spirit! I will rebuke it with Kossuth’s power!
[Nydia the Sorceress admires herself in the inn mirror]
Nydia the Sorceress: Huh? Did someone say something?
Mithras the Forlorn: Oh it’s only a human ghost. For a second I thought it might be Elven…
Katar the Centaur: I don’t trust ghosts, just like I don’t trust humans.
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Agh! Get out of my inn you accursed spirit!
Mattathias the Pure: Speak, good ghost! Tell us what you know!
Marcella’s Ghost: Falling Leaves, you must save my husband, Nat Wyler. He has been pulled from my embrace and forced to walk the living world as a zombie. It is my dear Nat that is destroying the city!
Mattathias the Pure: A zombie?
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Um, a zombie? Nat Wyler? That’s impossible! He’s right over there!
Katar the Centaur: I don’t trust human zombies either.
Nym of the Blue Hair: That dead man holding the bell is a zombie?
Mithras the Forlorn: How could he be a zombie if he’s standing over there?
Nydia the Sorceress: Pff, doesn’t look like much of a threat to me.
Verekai the Fiery: I’ll rebuke them both with my holy magic!
Mattathias the Pure: Kind, gentle spirit! Please, tell us how we can help Nat Wyler rest?
Marcella’s Ghost: He was animated by the vile and loathsome Zelkratis who intended to use Nat Wyler to ruin the city, but my husband loves Phlan so much that he could not destroy it, but neither could he return to death.
Mattathias the Pure: Why not, beauteous ghost?
Marcella’s Ghost: He cannot return to his eternal slumber unless you take his bell, bring it to my grave, and when next he walks, we will be together once again.
Mattathias the Pure: I will do as you ask, oh gentle ghost!
Marcella’s Ghost: Thank you, dutiful servant of Ilmater.
[Curtain falls]
Scene 4: Marcella’s Grave
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “Marcella’s Grave”. The curtain opens to a peaceful cemetery, a clear starry night has been painted on the back curtain. On stage are the Falling Leaves, Nym of the Blue Hair holds Nat’s ship-bell.]
Nym of the Blue Hair: We have the bell. Do you really think he’ll come?
Verekai the Fiery: How do we know this isn’t some joke?
Katar the Centaur: I don’t trust cemeteries.
Mithras the Forlorn: Why don’t we just stab the zombie?
Nydia the Sorceress: Why do we have to wait for him in a boneyard anyway? It’s cold out here and smelly too.
Mattathias the Pure: That kind and sweet ghost woman told us to wait here with the bell. I don’t know, there’s something strange about her.
Mithras the Forlorn: Like she wants to kill us strange?
Katar the Centaur: Walking around on two-legs strange?
Nydia the Sorceress: Not loving my beautiful face strange?
Verekai the Fiery: Strange like me?
Nym of the Blue Hair: Strange like standing around in a graveyard at night with an extremely heavy bell?
[Enter Zombie Nat Wyler carrying a bouquet of irises in hand.]
Mattathias the Pure: I can’t place it, but I get a weird feeling whenever she’s around. Look! Here comes someone!
Dead Nat Wyler: Urrr.
Mattathias the Pure: It’s Nat Wyler! Quick, place the bell over his wife’s grave!
Dead Nat Wyler: Urrr!
[Dead Nat Wyler shuffles in the direction of his bell]
[Enter Marcella’s Ghost]
Marcella’s Ghost: [Opera Score]
I thought of you until
Sleep overcame me
And death became my master.
But now I see your spirit
[Dead Nat Wyler removes death mask and puts on a white cloak, becoming Nat Wyler’s Ghost]
Nat Wyler’s Ghost: And how this spirit yearns
Marcella’s Ghost: And How this spirit loves
Nat Wyler’s Ghost: To return to your embrace
Marcella’s Ghost: So many tears I have shed
Nat Wyler’s Ghost:
Now they are changed
To sweetest joy
Marcella’s Ghost: In your arms once again.
Nat Wyler’s Ghost: My love
Marcella’s Ghost: I am at peace
Nat Wyler’s Ghost: Now we are at peace.
[End Opera Score]
Nat Wyler’s Ghost: Thank you, you have brought us together and now we may rest.
Marcella’s Ghost: Before we depart, let me speak to our new friends once more.
Mattathias the Pure: What shall we do, beautiful spectral lady?
Marcella’s Ghost: I must warn you that Zelkratis is a dragon both cunning and cruel. He did this to my husband in vengeance for slaying his brother, Bloodmaw. Bloodmaw had kidnapped me, gave my unborn child to the fae, and my grief overcame me. I had met my end before Nat could rescue me.
Mattathias the Pure: That is terrible! I will find this Zelkratis and destroy him!
A cruel wicked monster you have threatened, you have stolen, you have murdered, you have defiled, and you have lied.
Through the dark and the chill, in the forest, on a hill, I will find you wherever you may hide.
I will bring you straight to justice for it is my priestly duty to ease whatever suffering I find!
But tonight, dragon, I tell you that I have no ounce of mercy for any evil doers of your kind!
With my fists and with my courage I will smite thee from the heavens and there won’t be any hope of your escape.
You will rue the day you came to Phlan for I swear upon my wrappings, holy symbol, flail, and my drape.
That I will smite thee!
And I will fight thee!
Your evilness will soon be at its end!
For I invite thee,
to come and sight me,
for my purity and valor heavens send!
Nym of the Blue Hair: Are we going to shout at the sky until the dragon comes, or are we… wow, it worked.
[Enter Dragon Zelkratis, laughing]
Dragon Zelkratis: You puny little mortals you are nothing to a dragon! You speak brave words little monk thing but do you really think you can slay me? I will tear your meat from your bones and use what’s left to pad my lair!
[Dragon Zelkratis and the Falling Leaves battle. Zelkratis is defeated]
Marcella’s Ghost: You have won brave Falling Leaves! Zelkratis is no more and we may sleep once again! I have one last thing to say before I go however: I see that our child that was stolen has grown up and become a man more than Nat or I had ever dreamed.
[Nat Wyler’s Ghost smiles at Mattathias]
Nat Wyler’s Ghost: You have done your father proud, Mattathias Wyler. You have all made us proud!
[Curtain Falls]
This small inn is little more then an ale-soaked dive with a large common sleeping room above it. People with few coins in their pockets can gorge on bland food, drown in cheap ale, then stagger upstairs to sleep it off. The biggest attraction in Wyler’s Bell is Old Nat himself… though he’s been dead for 20 years. His body, a masterpiece of mortuary art, occupies a prominent place behind the bar, and his hands clutch a large bronze bell. The new owner is a mischievous gnome named Gnahac Gnarlnose.
This is the story as DM’d by my wife in our campaign:
Gnahac Gnarlnose, was mired in debt and was refusing to pay his creditors. One being a priest named Vilek. The priest decided to seek his revenge by raising the mounted corpse of Nat Wyler from the dead in the hopes that the resulting chaos might ruin Gnahac’s business. Unfortunately for them both, the undead Nat Wyler was not as easy to control as Vilek had assumed he would be.
Nat achieved his undead state only very late at night. The zombified Wyler began to ransack Phlanian businesses, seemingly at random. His first stop had been the Half a Loaf bakery, followed by Jerome’s General Store, then the Gilded Lily. Though he made a real mess, he only stolen one thing from each: a pair of apple muffins, a handkeg of ale, and a small box of talcum powder. Even stranger were the eye-witness reports of a tall stumbling man who stank of kitchen herbs (as the incidents took place on particularly dark evenings in the dead of night, nobody got a really clear look at Nat). Because Nat Wyler was habitually returning to his former inn after each of his outings, Gnahac Gnarlnose knew what was happening, but was refusing to speak lest the truth become known.
Needless to say, it all came out on Nat Wyler’s fourth walk. That evening he had stumbled to the house of a woman whom he had known while still alive. The woman was long dead, but her great-niece was residing there and she received quite a fright to find the undead Nat in her home. The situation was ultimately resolved when the Falling Leaves adventuring party lured Nat Wyler, with his own bell, into The Waiting where the priests of Tyr were able to return him to peaceful sleep.
At the time of this adventure, the party was around 3rd level. Now years have passed, the group is 18th level, but this is still our most famous deed. Bards wrote songs about it, puppet shows were put on, etc… it all finally led to an extravagant musical and opera put on by the bard’s college of New Olamn in Waterdeep. The Falling Leaves (our adventuring party) was invited to the first dress rehearsal, and so the game started…
My wife wrote the musical (with edits and the opera pieces by me) and I made a soundtrack for the entire thing (including trying to perfectly match all the music to the lyrics), and a flyer
. The musical takes ALOT of liberties with the "facts", much to the amusement of our players. Anyway, when we got to the part of the game that the opera was to take place I handed everyone their lines. Being the evil DM that I am, I made everyone act out the entire play (my own bad singing/acting included). Well, it was one of the most fun and amazing nights in gaming we’ve had.I thought long and hard about posting this on the net, thinking that all the jokes and such would be lost to those that don’t know the entire story, but perhaps not. We’ll see…
Nat Wyler: An Unlife of Love
Announcer: Welcome Lords and Ladies, lads and lassies, dames and gents! The New Olamn College of Waterdeep welcomes you to the first performance of what is surely to become one of our greatest masterpieces! It is an epic tale of woe and peril, of heroism, and of love. It is the tragic story of the Pirate Prince Natalius Wyler, and of the gallant heroes, the Falling Leaves, who saved him from an eternity of enslavement at the hands of a villain most foul and devious. And so, our most wonderful audience, we present: Nat Wyler: An Unlife of Love
Act I: Natalius Wyler, Pirate Prince
Scene I: At sea, aboard the Sembian ship: The Lustrous Lady.
[The stage is dark, the curtain down. Spotlight on Nym of the Blue Hair.]
Nym of the Blue Hair: [Opera Score]
Allow a fledgling bard bring you a tale,
Of the once-heir of the sea of stars that fell,
From whence his kingdom stretched bow to stern,
It’s bell ringing a corsairs’ cry,
For those of cruel and dire minds
[End Opera Score and Nym of the Blue Hair exits. As the curtain fully opens, at the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “At sea, aboard the Sembian ship: The Lustrous Lady”. The stage shows a half deck and sails, a bright blue sky has been painted on the back curtain. On stage are Natalius, who stands at the stern as Jama and another bucaneer bring forth the battered Sembian merchant Gorgstag.]
Natalius Wyler: Stand, you corpulent cur, and present what treasures are due me!
Merchant Gorstag: Alas, my ship scuttled by you accursed pirates, my beautiful robes ruined, and you dare demand my money!
Natalius Wyler: Your money, you say? That money belongs to every poor farmer you’ve enslaved, every customer you’ve swindled, and to every man and woman who labors away beneath your greedy yoke! That money is theirs and I, Natalius Wyler, shall give it to them!
Merchant Gorstag: How dare you! That money is mine! I earned it with my own slaves’ two hands!
I was just a little boy when my father died.
Nobody cared about the way I felt inside.
My mother never loved me.
My brother she put above me.
I couldn’t win a smile if I tried! So I cheated.
All: So you cheated.
Merchant Gorstag: So I stole.
All: So you stole.
Merchant Gorstag:
So I lied!
And Slaving was the only thing that gave me joy or pride!
First Mate Jama: If I were you, I’d run and hide.
Merchant Gorstag:
When I finally came of age, I had my mother killed!
My brother I sold to distant Thay!
Nobody could stop me from doing what I willed!
If they tried, their filthy skin I’d flay!
Natalius Wyler: For that I’m going to toss you in the bay!
Merchant Gorstag:
You don’t dare! You wouldn’t! The sea is deep and big!
The sharks will eat me, why not beat me
and throw me in the brig?
Natalius Wyler: Now whyever would I do that? I have no room for you, you pig!
Merchant Gorstag: But you cannot be so merciless, you cannot be so cruel!
Natalius Wyler:
He’s right, I’m not a heartless man, whatever shall I do?
He’s surely vile, killing, taking slaves;
but I’m not so cold and callous as to toss him to the waves!
Whatever shall I do with him, this man, this louse, this fiend?
He’s certainly the most devious man that I have ever seen!
Merchant Gorstag: I am the most devious man that you have ever seen!
Natalius Wyler:
I’ll spare you, Merchant Gorstag, and I’ll not toss you overboard!
I shall not hang you from my mast, nor pierce you with my sword!
But mark my words, you scummy rat, should I catch you one more time…
Merchant Gorstag: I’ve changed, I swear! I’m giving up my life of violent crime!
Natalius Wyler: Then charity I’ll give you: a rope to be tied with, a dingy to sail, and my hopes that the winds take you back from where you hail! [Laughs]
[Curtain falls]
Scene 2: At sea, aboard Natalius Wyler’s ship: The Belle of the Deep.
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “At sea, aboard Natalius Wyler’s ship: The Belle of the Deep.” The curtain opens to the deck of the Belle, a turbulent and dark sky has been painted on the back curtain. Natalius Wyler and First Mate Jama are on stage, inspecting the ship, while three buccaneers are busy working around them.]
Natalius Wyler: I don’t know, Jama. Giving Gorstag his just desserts was fun, but the fire within me is now but embers.
First Mate Jama: Fire, sir, where?
Natalius Wyler: Do you not feel the thrill of having seen the enemy’s ship in the horizon, Jama? Do you not feel the wind’s call? Do you not marvel at the beauty of a billowing sail, like petticoats one cannot help but admire, and wonder at what is hidden within them?
First Mate Jama: Yes, quite a sight. You mentioned a fire, sir?
Natalius Wyler: How I once longed for those bright-eyed maidens who waited ashore. All those alluring petticoats of red, green, blue, and every color of this world. But brightest white was always right for me.
First Mate Jama: Where is the fire, sir?
Natalius Wyler: Pure as snow they were and as beautiful as any maiden who wore them. But it’s been so long and all those maidens are married! All that white, withered to grey.
First Mate Jama: I take it there is no fire, sir?
Natalius Wyler: Yes, the fire is gone, for all save one. In my dreams I see a maid whose beauty outshines even the brightest forge-fires!
I see her in my dreams, but only in my dreams.
Her tresses they are spun from gold, her loving embrace is never cold.
She’s in my dreams, but only in my dreams.
Her eyes they shine like Selune’s tears, her smiles chase away all my fears.
But she’s in my dreams, She’s only in my dreams!
Her voice like an angel in my dreams
[Curtain falls]
Scene 3: Mulmaster Harbor.
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “Mulmaster Harbor” The curtain opens to a wooden dock, the city and nearby ships are painted on the back curtain. Natalius Wyler, First Mate Jama, and the Dockhand are on stage.]
Natalius Wyler: This isn’t the Sea of Fallen Stars! This isn’t the Sembian coast! We’ve been blown way off course!
Dockhand: Yer in Mulmaster, and mind yer tongue!
Natalius Wyler: Mulmaster!
First Mate Jama: Yes, sir.
Natalius Wyler: All the way from Vhauntan Bay! As if the gods themselves plucked The Belle of the Deep from the sea and then brought us here, but look Jama! What is that?
[Enter Royal Guards, Princess Marcella, and King Nesker]
Royal Guard: Make way for the royal procession of Nesker, Sorcerer-King! You there! Pirate! Get out of the way!
Natalius Wyler: Look, Jama. I remember when I had a royal procession, but I never had such a marvelous white petticoat!
[Princess Marcella gasps loudly]
Natalius Wyler: That’s her, the woman in my dreams!
Princess Marcella: It’s him, the man in my dreams!
[Exit Royal Guards, Princess Marcellea, and King Nesker]
Natalius Wyler: It’s her! Those golden curls, those ruby lips! I must know who she is!
Dockhand: Princess Marcella, that be. If yer knowin’ what’s good fer ye, you’ll ferget ye ever saw her!
Natalius Wyler: Why? Tell me!
Dockhand: She’s a Princess wit’ an evil father, and ye’re a sloven pirate wit’ a dunce fer a first mate.
[First Mate Jama nods knowingly]
Natalius Wyler: A Princess! She’s a Princess! The woman of my dreams!
Dockhand: If’n ye try to talk to her, we’ll be listning to yer screams!
Natalius Wyler: A princess, she’s a princess! Her beauty’s beyond compare!
Dockhand: The guards’ll hang ye by the neck if at her ye stare!
Natalius Wyler: A princess! She’s the Princess that I’ve been searching for!
Dockhand: Yer pieces they’ll be lying on a cold stone floor!
Natalius Wyler: But I have to have her!
Dockhand: No, ye don’t.
Natalius Wyler: I have to meet her!
Dockhand: Are ye nuts?
Natalius Wyler: She must be mine!
Dockhand: I’m getting’ outta here before they flay me too.
[Exit Dockhand]
Natalius Wyler: Princess Marcella! I love you!
[Exit Natalius Wyler]
First Mate Jama: Yes, sir.
[Curtain falls]
Scene 4: Princess Marecella’s Chambers
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “Prince Marcella’s Chambers” The curtain opens to a luxurious bedroom. Princess Marcella is on stage.]
Princess Marcella: I saw him, I know I did! He was standing there on the docks! He looked exactly as he does in my dreams! He was so handsome! So dashing! It’s as if Sune had answered my prayers!
I saw him in my dreams, but only in my dreams.
A man so kind and full of love surely sent from the gods above.
He was in my dreams, but only in my dreams.
His dashing smile, his gentle charm, the way he protected me from harm.
Oh he was in my dreams…
Father!
[Enter King Nesker]
King Nesker:
What is this I hear about some man.
A pirate not worthy of your hand.
I’ll whip him till he cannot stand,
and then cast his pieces from my land!
Princess Marcella: Father no!
King Nesker:
My guards will find him! Yes they’ll find him!
And they will kill him! Yes they’ll kill him!
Maybe grill him! I’m such a villain!
His guts will soon be spilling!
[Exit King Nesker]
[Enter Natalius Wyler through the window]
Natalius Wyler: Princess Marcella! I am Natalius Wyler, pirate prince of the Sea of Fallen Stars, and I love you!
Princess Marcella: Oh Natalius! I love you too, but my father will kill you! You need to leave!
Natalius Wyler: I will not leave you, Marcella!
Come away with me aboard my ship and we’ll go away together!
Princess Marcella:
Oh Natalius, I love you so! I’d stay with you forever!
But where’ll we go? I’ll have you know,
I’ve never left this city!
Natalius Wyler: I’ll take you my dear, to a place that’s nice and pretty!
Princess Marcella: Then hurry we will away from this place, and far away from my father!
Natalius Wyler: I’ll give up my ship and we’ll build an inn and live happy forever after!
[Curtain falls]
Act 2: A King’s Revenge
Scene 1: In Phlan, at Nat Wyler’s Bell
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “In Phlan, at Nat Wyler’s Bell” The curtain opens to a common room, on stage are Nat Wyler, Marcella Wyler, and four barmaids who are cleaning.]
Barmaids: [Opera Score]
And so they fled west across the sea
To marry, and a new life plan,
In the once again rebuilt town of Phlan.
The timbers of Nat’s ship they turned,
To an inn innocuously named,
Nat Wyler’s Bell.
Yet still that corsair’s bell rang,
Not for battle, but for those who drank.
[End Opera Score and exit Barmaids]
Nat Wyler: Life has truly blessed us!
Marcella Wyler: Yes it has, Nat. I’m so glad we left. I’m so happy here!
Nat Wyler:
Our life has been so good,
just like we knew it would.
Day or night, everything’s right.
Nothing’d go wrong if it could!
Marcella Wyler:
Our life has been so wonderful!
It couldn’t be better if it tried!
Every sun that rises, brings wondrous new surprises!
It’s so heavenly to be Nat Wyler’s bride!
Nat Wyler:
And our life is beautiful!
Our inn is a success and soon we will be blessed!
Marcella Wyler: A little Nat just like we desired! Nothing in the world can keep us from smiling!
[The curtain parts further to show King Nesker peering through a crystal ball]
King Nesker: Nothing eh? You may think so, but you have no idea of what is coming! Smile while you can, Nat, you’ll soon be running! A dragon I’ve sent to kill your dreams! Death comes Natalius, on scaly wings! I can plainly see! When you’re dead Marcella will come home to me!
[Curtain falls]
Scene 2: The Market Square in Phlan.
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “The Markest Square in Phlan” The curtain opens to sparse market place with a white cloudy sky painted on the back curtain. Nat Wyler, Marcella Wyler, and a few merchants are on stage.]
Marcella Wyler: Oh Nat, look at how lovely the day is! My favorite flowers are blooming and our baby will be here soon!
Nat Wyler: Our life is perfect, Marcella, and soon it will be even more perfect. But wait, what’s that sound?
[Enter Bloodmaw the Red Dragon, laughing]
Nat Wyler: Have at thee, you red-scaled scourge! You shall never kill me for I am Natalius Wyler, Pirate Prince of the Sea of Fallen Stars!
Marcella Wyler: Nat no! Run, Nat, Please!
[Bloodmaw the Red Dragon laughs]
Bloodmaw the Red Dragon: You are not a Prince anymore! You’re a paunchy old innkeeper who will taste good sliding down my gullet!
Nat Wyler: How dare you call me paunchy!
[Bloodmaw the Red Dragon and Nat Wyler fight a fierce battle, before Nat Wyler finally stabs Bloodmaw in the side]
Nat Wyler: Hah! Take that lizard!
Bloodmaw the Red Dragon: Damn you, this is not over! You have sorely wounded me, but I shall wound you all the more!
[Bloodmaw the Red Dragon grabs a screaming Marcella Wyler]
Marcella Wyler: No! Nat, save me!
Nat Wyler: Drop my wife you vile fiend!
Bloodmaw the Red Dragon: You pitiful little fleshbag! She is mine now!
[Exit Bloodmaw the Red Dragon and Marcella Wyler]
Nat Wyler: Marcella! No!
[The curtain parts further to show King Nesker, laughing, peering through a crystal ball]
King Nesker: Now Bloodmaw shall use his sorcery to remove her unborn child, bring my daughter to me, and Nat Wyler will die trying to save her!
Nat Wyler: No!
It has taken my precious Marcella!
To parts unknown she is gone!
But I will find her! I’m right behind her!
I swear upon my parent’s graves that Marcella I will save!
That dragon will regret what it has done!
[Exit Nat Wyler]
[Curtain falls]
Scene 3: Bloodmaw’s Lair.
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “Bloodmaw’s Lair”. The curtain opens to a dark and rocky cave. A snoring Bloodmaw the Red Dragon and the unmoving Marcella Wyler are on stage.]
[Enter Nat Wyler]
Nat Wyler: At last! I’ve found my Marcella and the accursed dragon that took her!
[Bloodmaw the Red Dragon snores loudly]
Nat Wyler: I shall destroy it and then Marcella will be free!
[Nat Wyler creeps up to Bloodmaw the Red Dragon ans slays it]
Nat Wyler: The monster is dead! He shall trouble us no more! But Marcella, why do you not wake? Why do you not even stir?
[Nat Wyler touches Marecella Wyler]
Nat Wyler: Why are you so cold? Surely you aren’t… no! You can’t be! My Marcella is dead!
[The curtain parts further to show King Nesker peering through a crystal ball]
King Nesker: Marcella has died? No! How can this be? I told Bloodmaw not kill her! What have I done? What have I done! I cannot live without my beautiful Marcella!
[King Nesker dies of grief while Nat Wyler inspects Marcella’s body]
Nat Wyler: Oh my dear Marcella, you are dead! But no wounds mar you, surely the dragon didn’t kill you! And where, where is our baby? Our baby is gone, taken from us!
My wife is gone. Marcella has gone.
With the angels now you sing, where all beautiful things
surround thee!
All the flowers e’er grown,
the finest clothes ever sown,
everything that you should’ve owned.
You’re there in heaven, you’re in heaven, so far from me…
[Curtain falls]
Act 3: The Unlife of Nat Wyler
Scene 1: Zelkratis’ Mansion
[Enter The Falling Leaves, in front of the still closed curtain]
The Falling Leaves: [Opera Score]
Years have passed, years have passed…
And I tell once again of Ole’ Nat,
Twenty years dead, but was so liked
That they shellacked him, nice and bright.
With his bell he has now gone,
To a gnome that gambles and groans.
About the years that have gone and passed,
Years that have passed, years have passed…
[End Opera Score and exit The Falling Leaves. At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “Zelkratis’ Mansion” The curtain opens to a luxurious dining room, on stage are Gnahac Gnarlnose and Zelkratis.]
Gnahac Gnarlnose: It's all I have left, give me more time! You can't take my inn!
Zelkratis: I have already given you enough time to pay your debts to me, Gnarlnose. The Gods may be patient, but I am not. I will, however, be merciful. You can keep your inn, but you will give me the rest of my money.
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Thank you, Zelkratis! I will have your money by next week!
Zelkratis: You will have it in three days!
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Yes! I will have it I swear!
[Exit Gnahac Gnarlnose and Zelkratis laughs.]
Zelkratis: That fool!
It’s clear he thinks I’ll fall for his tricks, but I am a much smarter man!
Try to cheat me, he will, but I’ll triumph still, for I have a sinister plan!
This human-like skin, these robes that I’m in, they make a magnificent guise!
But he doesn’t know, no he’ll never know I’m really a beast in disguise!
I’m a dragon! A red dragon! I’m here to exact my revenge!
My brother, Bloodmaw! Nat Wyler slew him! His murder I’m sure to avenge!
I’m almost too clever for words!
I know that he’s dead, so vengeance instead will occur by a means so horrific!
The blood and the screams, as he rips and he reams, oh the carnage! It’ll be so terrific! He’ll be a zombie! A mindless zombie! Nat Wyler who once sought to defend! He’ll be my puppet, and I’ll command him to devour, to tear, and to rend!
[Zelkratis laughs.]
Phlan will despair, but there’s no one there who can stop the fiend I’ve created!
They’ll weep and they’ll wail, but will not prevail! They’ll pray for him soon to be sated! I’ll make him do things so crude and depraved
that it’ll have a dozen paladins spinning in their graves!
I’ll go there now and cast that dreadful spell. Soon Phlan will know true terror!
[Curtain falls]
Scene 2: The Market Square in Phlan
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “The Markest Square in Phlan” The curtain opens to sparse market place with a white cloudy sky painted on the back curtain. A nearby shop is marked with a large sign proclaiming “Exotic Baths”. Several Phlanian Guards and Townsfolk are on stage.]
Phlanian Guard: None one saw who did it, but it had to be someone with strength.
Townsfolk: There must be someone who can do something!
[Enter the Falling Leaves]
Phlanian Guard: Lo! Who goes there? It’s a band of wandering heroes!
The Falling Leaves: We’re merry adventurers and we’re here to solve your problems!
Mattathias the Pure: What has happened here, good villager?
Townsfolk: Not only has this bath shop been ransacked, but also the general store and the bakery. No one knows who will be next, but we’re all very vexed!
The Falling Leaves:
We’ve ventured far and we’ve ventured wide,
we fight together side by side,
and we’re fearless and we’re peerles!
We’re hero personified!
Katar the Centaur: There’s no enemy we can’t defeat!
Verekai the Fiery: No challenge we’re too afraid to meet!
Mithras the Forlorn: No monster that we cannot overcome!
Nym of the Blue Hair: We’ll soon go out attacking!
Nydia the Sorceress: We’ll send this creep a’packing!
Mattathias the Pure: Just watch! We will make this villain run!
Townsfolk: Hooray! We’re saved!
[Curtain falls]
Scene 3: Nat Wyler’s Bell
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “Nat Wyler’s Bell”. The curtain opens to a smashed common room. On stage is the stiff body of Dead Nat Wyler holding a bell, two Hoodlums smashing the place and Gnahac Gnarlnose is hiding behind the bar.]
1st Hoodlum: Feel like paying up yet?
2nd Hoodlum: Yeah, huh huh, or do we have to break more stuff, like your face?
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Please! I’ll give Zelkratis his money! I swear! Stop trashing my inn!
1st Hoodlum: I like trashing the inn, huh huh.
[Enter The Falling Leaves]
3rd Hoodlum: Hey! Who are you?
Mattathias the Pure: My name is Mattathias and I am here to put a stop to your crimes! Put down your weapons and I won’t be forced to thrash you!
2nd Hoodlum: Let’s get him!
[The Hoodlums and the Falling Leaves battle. Exit Hoodlums]
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Thank you! You’ve saved my inn!
Mattathias the Pure: All in a day’s work, good innkeeper! Why were they destroying this fine establishment?
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Umm, I don’t know really. They don’t like Gnomes I think!
[Enter Marecella’s Ghost]
Marcella’s Ghost: Falling Leaves, you must hear me! I am a ghost, but I am here to help you.
Nym of the Blue Hair: A ghost!
Verekai the Fiery: A spirit! I will rebuke it with Kossuth’s power!
[Nydia the Sorceress admires herself in the inn mirror]
Nydia the Sorceress: Huh? Did someone say something?
Mithras the Forlorn: Oh it’s only a human ghost. For a second I thought it might be Elven…
Katar the Centaur: I don’t trust ghosts, just like I don’t trust humans.
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Agh! Get out of my inn you accursed spirit!
Mattathias the Pure: Speak, good ghost! Tell us what you know!
Marcella’s Ghost: Falling Leaves, you must save my husband, Nat Wyler. He has been pulled from my embrace and forced to walk the living world as a zombie. It is my dear Nat that is destroying the city!
Mattathias the Pure: A zombie?
Gnahac Gnarlnose: Um, a zombie? Nat Wyler? That’s impossible! He’s right over there!
Katar the Centaur: I don’t trust human zombies either.
Nym of the Blue Hair: That dead man holding the bell is a zombie?
Mithras the Forlorn: How could he be a zombie if he’s standing over there?
Nydia the Sorceress: Pff, doesn’t look like much of a threat to me.
Verekai the Fiery: I’ll rebuke them both with my holy magic!
Mattathias the Pure: Kind, gentle spirit! Please, tell us how we can help Nat Wyler rest?
Marcella’s Ghost: He was animated by the vile and loathsome Zelkratis who intended to use Nat Wyler to ruin the city, but my husband loves Phlan so much that he could not destroy it, but neither could he return to death.
Mattathias the Pure: Why not, beauteous ghost?
Marcella’s Ghost: He cannot return to his eternal slumber unless you take his bell, bring it to my grave, and when next he walks, we will be together once again.
Mattathias the Pure: I will do as you ask, oh gentle ghost!
Marcella’s Ghost: Thank you, dutiful servant of Ilmater.
[Curtain falls]
Scene 4: Marcella’s Grave
[At the far right corner, a stagehand brings out a sign that reads: “Marcella’s Grave”. The curtain opens to a peaceful cemetery, a clear starry night has been painted on the back curtain. On stage are the Falling Leaves, Nym of the Blue Hair holds Nat’s ship-bell.]
Nym of the Blue Hair: We have the bell. Do you really think he’ll come?
Verekai the Fiery: How do we know this isn’t some joke?
Katar the Centaur: I don’t trust cemeteries.
Mithras the Forlorn: Why don’t we just stab the zombie?
Nydia the Sorceress: Why do we have to wait for him in a boneyard anyway? It’s cold out here and smelly too.
Mattathias the Pure: That kind and sweet ghost woman told us to wait here with the bell. I don’t know, there’s something strange about her.
Mithras the Forlorn: Like she wants to kill us strange?
Katar the Centaur: Walking around on two-legs strange?
Nydia the Sorceress: Not loving my beautiful face strange?
Verekai the Fiery: Strange like me?
Nym of the Blue Hair: Strange like standing around in a graveyard at night with an extremely heavy bell?
[Enter Zombie Nat Wyler carrying a bouquet of irises in hand.]
Mattathias the Pure: I can’t place it, but I get a weird feeling whenever she’s around. Look! Here comes someone!
Dead Nat Wyler: Urrr.
Mattathias the Pure: It’s Nat Wyler! Quick, place the bell over his wife’s grave!
Dead Nat Wyler: Urrr!
[Dead Nat Wyler shuffles in the direction of his bell]
[Enter Marcella’s Ghost]
Marcella’s Ghost: [Opera Score]
I thought of you until
Sleep overcame me
And death became my master.
But now I see your spirit
[Dead Nat Wyler removes death mask and puts on a white cloak, becoming Nat Wyler’s Ghost]
Nat Wyler’s Ghost: And how this spirit yearns
Marcella’s Ghost: And How this spirit loves
Nat Wyler’s Ghost: To return to your embrace
Marcella’s Ghost: So many tears I have shed
Nat Wyler’s Ghost:
Now they are changed
To sweetest joy
Marcella’s Ghost: In your arms once again.
Nat Wyler’s Ghost: My love
Marcella’s Ghost: I am at peace
Nat Wyler’s Ghost: Now we are at peace.
[End Opera Score]
Nat Wyler’s Ghost: Thank you, you have brought us together and now we may rest.
Marcella’s Ghost: Before we depart, let me speak to our new friends once more.
Mattathias the Pure: What shall we do, beautiful spectral lady?
Marcella’s Ghost: I must warn you that Zelkratis is a dragon both cunning and cruel. He did this to my husband in vengeance for slaying his brother, Bloodmaw. Bloodmaw had kidnapped me, gave my unborn child to the fae, and my grief overcame me. I had met my end before Nat could rescue me.
Mattathias the Pure: That is terrible! I will find this Zelkratis and destroy him!
A cruel wicked monster you have threatened, you have stolen, you have murdered, you have defiled, and you have lied.
Through the dark and the chill, in the forest, on a hill, I will find you wherever you may hide.
I will bring you straight to justice for it is my priestly duty to ease whatever suffering I find!
But tonight, dragon, I tell you that I have no ounce of mercy for any evil doers of your kind!
With my fists and with my courage I will smite thee from the heavens and there won’t be any hope of your escape.
You will rue the day you came to Phlan for I swear upon my wrappings, holy symbol, flail, and my drape.
That I will smite thee!
And I will fight thee!
Your evilness will soon be at its end!
For I invite thee,
to come and sight me,
for my purity and valor heavens send!
Nym of the Blue Hair: Are we going to shout at the sky until the dragon comes, or are we… wow, it worked.
[Enter Dragon Zelkratis, laughing]
Dragon Zelkratis: You puny little mortals you are nothing to a dragon! You speak brave words little monk thing but do you really think you can slay me? I will tear your meat from your bones and use what’s left to pad my lair!
[Dragon Zelkratis and the Falling Leaves battle. Zelkratis is defeated]
Marcella’s Ghost: You have won brave Falling Leaves! Zelkratis is no more and we may sleep once again! I have one last thing to say before I go however: I see that our child that was stolen has grown up and become a man more than Nat or I had ever dreamed.
[Nat Wyler’s Ghost smiles at Mattathias]
Nat Wyler’s Ghost: You have done your father proud, Mattathias Wyler. You have all made us proud!
[Curtain Falls]
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