I hate Christmas

You've been getting "bad" gifts for ten years ??

Sounds like you don't know how to like something that's not on your list, to me. I'm wondering if you would even try to like something not on your list, and that's sad. Certainly you might be capable of liking things that aren't on your list, and sometimes when people give you something it's to share something they like with you (especially movies or CDs.) It doesn't mean that the gift is about them; it might mean they want to give you the enjoyment of it as much as the thing itself. But you're being so stubborn you won't see that.

Regdar suggests we are wrong and he is merely a

Special one of these

Warlord Ralts said:

You claim it's everyone else's fault, and that we are all in the wrong, for believing that it's more than just the gift, it's the feeling behind it.

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And if your gift had feeling behind it, you would get the recipient what they wanted, not what you want to give them. Getting them a gift you want puts you, the giver at the center of the situation - and eliminates any possibility that your gift is actually motivated by generosity. It is motivated by your desires, not the desires of the recipient, which would be paramount if you were truly generous.

You perpetuate a lie. How is that in the Christmas spirit?

Storm Raven said:

No, I just don't like surprises.

I find comfort in people actually getting gifts they want to have.

I don't care why people lie to one another. I know the intent behind the lies, but looking at them, I find that they are actually an impediment to actual enjoyment of the holidays. I have spent decades lying about enjoying the gifts I have received. And what has that accomplished? Every year I get gifts I don't want, and have to lie and pretend I like them. The "polite lie" in this case just leads to an erroneous conclusion on the part of the giver that they made me happy, and they do more of the same at the next occassion, which breeds more lies. How is this a healthy or desirable situation? How does this enhance anyone's enjoyment of the season? I resent the giver for ignoring my desires yet again, and the giver gets to have me put on a fake smile all day.

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Thank you, that confirms some suspicions.

Eternalknight said:

Yet by making them choose off of a list they have absolutely NO thought put behind them.

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No, the thought is "he wants this, I care enough about him to get what he wants, regardless of whether I agree with his tastes or not".

My wife dislikes The Lord of the Rings, yet every year for three years she bought me the special extended edition of the movies. Because she knows I like them. I don't like Danielle Steele novels, but every year I get her at least one, becasue I know she does.

That is thought behind a gift: placing the recipient's likes and desires above your own.

Warlord Ralts said:

Maybe he's giving you a pen that you will strive not to lose, that you will care enough about to keep track of, and in doing that, you'll always have one nearby.

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This was my first thought. If Storm Raven cared about his father, he would take care of the pen and use the pen, because it reminded him of his father and his generosity.

Storm Raven said:

Instead, he is going to be getting Beverley Hills Ninja, a movie I know he hates. Because it makes me feel good to get him something that I want to give him, and not something he actually wants.

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Wow. I figured, hey, maybe the guy's just being misunderstood. Maybe I'll reach out a hand and try to help him reconcile with his dad. Maybe it'll do him some good.

My dad died ten years ago. I was seventeen at the time. I never got to know him as an adult, just as a parent. I regret not being able to call him up. I regret not being able to get really bad gifts from him. I miss the dickens out of him.

I hope that this jerk persona is just that: a persona. I sincerely hope you actually appreciate the fact that you're a lucky person to have enough food to eat and to be able to get bad gifts from your parents.

Einan

Storm Raven said:

No, I just don't like surprises.

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I find comfort in people actually getting gifts they want to have.

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I don't care why people lie to one another. I know the intent behind the lies, but looking at them, I find that they are actually an impediment to actual enjoyment of the holidays. I have spent decades lying about enjoying the gifts I have received. And what has that accomplished? Every year I get gifts I don't want, and have to lie and pretend I like them. The "polite lie" in this case just leads to an erroneous conclusion on the part of the giver that they made me happy, and they do more of the same at the next occassion, which breeds more lies. How is this a healthy or desirable situation? How does this enhance anyone's enjoyment of the season? I resent the giver for ignoring my desires yet again, and the giver gets to have me put on a fake smile all day.

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I resent you for ever starting this thread. I have never in my life read such ridiculous arguments for justification of selfishness. Does it really hurt anyone to fake a smile and say thank you once a year. No. It doesn't. It might hurt you but if you pull that stick out of your bum you might actually take some pleasure in seeing the eyes of the giver light up when they receive that pathetic thank-you.

marshmallow said:

You've been getting "bad" gifts for ten years ??

Sounds like you don't know how to like something that's not on your list, to me. I'm wondering if you would even try to like something not on your list, and that's sad. Certainly you might be capable of liking things that aren't on your list, and sometimes when people give you something it's to share something they like with you (especially movies or CDs.)

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Oh, I like things on my list, but here are some of the gifts that have been handed my way the last couple years:

National Lampoon's Crhsitmas Vacation
The Waterboy
An action figure of John Goodman from Blues Brothers 2000
A sweater vest (I never wear sweater vests), and dislike them
A set of rubber shoe covers
A revolving tie rack (I have a tie rack, a nice one, and the giver knew this)
A ceramic hedgehog footscraper
A set of ceramic frogs

Now, go back and look at my list. It has been in that vein for the last couple years. How could you extrapolate from my list that I would like any of those things?

Storm Raven said:

And if your gift had feeling behind it, you would get the recipient what they wanted, not what you want to give them.

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Why should I even get them a gift. It isn't a gift if you give them exactly what they want. I might as well just hand them the money.

Sorry, it's my choice what to give them. I still believe in the old saw "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" and the sentiments behind that saying.

Getting them a gift you want puts you, the giver at the center of the situation - and eliminates any possibility that your gift is actually motivated by generosity.

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Really? I find that interesting that you believe that it makes the giver the center of attention. A gift is meant to put you a little in the attention circle, by saying: "I cared enough to get THIS for you."

It is motivated by your desires, not the desires of the recipient, which would be paramount if you were truly generous.

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Not true. Wholly motivated only by the desires of the recipiant is called catering to someone. Giving a gift doesn't mean catering to thier desires.

Just writing a list of what you want can be construed as selfish and childish. Rather than enjoying what the CHOOSE to give you, you are demanding that they give you a few things.

Which makes you the center of attention, and the selfish one.

It's like the fat kid in the video game ilse screaming that if he doesn't get Madden 2006 he'll hold his breath till he pisses his pants.

He's selfish and pathetic.

You perpetuate a lie.

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How?

How is that in the Christmas spirit?

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By sharing what little I have with someone, that is the spirit of Christmas. It's more than just gifts, it's a lot things.