I hate Christmas

[PowerWordDumb]

Not if the gift is something you want, and not something that puts their desires above yours.

If you choose to overspend, that's not my problem. I didn't make you decide to get a gift.

And the nature of that gift is that they got something that placed your desires above any their might have had. What if they decided, instead, to get you a replica of the mule Brighty, from the story Brighty of the Grand Canyon. Would it still be a great gift?

I don't like surprises. Never have. I haven't lost that "joy". They were never enjoyable for me. People like different things. I don't like surprises. Deal with it. If you were a family member of mine, and actually cared about me, you'd remember this and plan accordingly. Getting me a "surprise" just shows me that you couldn't care less about me, or my preferences. Or worse yet, you are trying to "fix" me, because if you "surprise" me enough I will somehow discover that despite never liking them in my entire life, I really do now. I don't like peaches either, forcing peaches on me isn't going to make me like them.

I don't know any way to say this without it sounding suspiciously like an attack, but do you often find human interactions and social conventions difficult to understand? Do you find comfort in rigidity and sameness? Do you wonder why people "lie" to each other instead of being ruthlessly honest in any and all situations? Do you wonder why your own efforts at clarity are not received well by others?

Your posts may not be you, but they are painting a picture that is sounding increasingly familiar. Knowing one way or the other won't change anything, but at least we'd know we're wasting our time on the subtleties of behavior and intent.

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

He doesn't like role-playing. He never has, and never will. I know this. Hence, I do not buy him role playing materials. He even had a hint passed on to me today (through my mother). He wants the book What Stalin Knew.

Instead, he is going to be getting Beverley Hills Ninja, a movie I know he hates. Because it makes me feel good to get him something that I want to give him, and not something he actually wants.

Get him an RPG. You know he hates them, you know he never will like them.

At least, then, you can say: "I just wanted you to have something that I like too."

And I hope he gets drunk, watches Beverley Hills Ninja, and laughs his ass off at it, and then THANKS YOU FOR IT!

 

[Scorpionfolke]

wow...I thought not being able to spend Christmas with my daughter was a terrible christmas thing----SR you have me beat

 

[Storm Raven]

Ummm, you are aware of the Meaning of Christmas?

Wrapping presents and getting gifts are the meaning of Christmas? I think not.

Find out what the Spirit of Christmas is. Why it is more than just the materialistic gifts.

Yes, which is why I would rather have no gifts than bad gifts. If you are going to get me crap, don't get me anything. I don't need crap under my tree to enjoy Christmas. I especially don't need crap that I don't like that I am supposed to pretend to be happy to get.

Rent It's a Wonderful Life, and watch it. REALLY watch it.
Watch It's a Charlie Brown Christmas.

Seen 'em both. Own 'em both. Neither puts out the point than "wrapping presents and giving gifts" is at all important to Christmas.

Watch your son's breathless excitement as he opens a present.

And, according to those posting here, I should get him socks, so I can watch him try to mask his disappointment and pretend he really wanted socks for Christmas. What fun!

Go and get him something he has NEVER displayed any interest in, wrap it up, and give it to him, then allow him to open it right there.

That is the worst advice in this thread.

 

[Storm Raven]

You don't get it, do you? It was a great gift, not because of WHAT it was, or how much it cost, but because they went and bought it, my FRIENDS cared enough to get me something beautiful that I couldn't afford. But all you see is that I desired a 911..

And if they had gotten you something, equally expensive, that you didn't want,. never had any desire to own, and told them you didn't want, exactly how treasured would that gift be?

You care about the gift because it reflected your desires. They got you something you wanted. You appreciate the thought because they took the time to think of what you wanted.

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

You still don't get it, do you?

You act like it's all about you, that it's actually "Gifts for Storm Raven" day.

You come across as arrogant, demanding, selfish, and uncaring.

You claim it's everyone else's fault, and that we are all in the wrong, for believing that it's more than just the gift, it's the feeling behind it.

You claim that none of us really understand Christmas, and when we call you on just how rediculous that is, you dodge, deflect, and weasel.

Here's the point: People are going to get you gifts. Some of them you may not like. Writing a list and demanding you get what is listed on it is not only rude, but it is ungrateful and selfish.

You are being selfish and ungrateful, demanding that people cater to you and your desires this holiday season.

You have no idea of what the meaning of Christmas is, having distilled it down to getting what you want.

You've lost the Joy in Christmas, and try to deflect that fact by pointing out that wrapping and having gifts isn't part of that, but yet, you claim it totally ruins your Christmas to get bad gifts.

You'd rather have nothing than a gift you don't want, since it is too much of a bother to show common human decency to someone who cared enough to give you a gift.

The Grinch thinks your a joyless, dour, self centered miser who is more interested in getting exactly what he wants rather than enjoying what he got.



No matter what you tell me, it doesn't change one basic fact.

I can enjoy any gift given to me, if nothing else because I meant enough for them to get me a gift.

You can't.

I win at Christmas.

 

[Storm Raven]

I don't know any way to say this without it sounding suspiciously like an attack, but do you often find human interactions and social conventions difficult to understand?

No, I just don't like surprises.

Do you find comfort in rigidity and sameness?

I find comfort in people actually getting gifts they want to have.

Do you wonder why people "lie" to each other instead of being ruthlessly honest in any and all situations? Do you wonder why your own efforts at clarity are not received well by others?

I don't care why people lie to one another. I know the intent behind the lies, but looking at them, I find that they are actually an impediment to actual enjoyment of the holidays. I have spent decades lying about enjoying the gifts I have received. And what has that accomplished? Every year I get gifts I don't want, and have to lie and pretend I like them. The "polite lie" in this case just leads to an erroneous conclusion on the part of the giver that they made me happy, and they do more of the same at the next occassion, which breeds more lies. How is this a healthy or desirable situation? How does this enhance anyone's enjoyment of the season? I resent the giver for ignoring my desires yet again, and the giver gets to have me put on a fake smile all day.

 

[Ralts Bloodthorne]

And if they had gotten you something, equally expensive, that you didn't want,. never had any desire to own, and told them you didn't want, exactly how treasured would that gift be?

Just as treasured.

But for me, it isn't the gift itself, but what it represents.

I still have the little set of 20 Hummel figurines.

You care about the gift because it reflected your desires. They got you something you wanted. You appreciate the thought because they took the time to think of what you wanted.

Read the rest of that.

Read the watch.

I had a watch. I gave him my bootknife. He had one. He still has the one I gave him.

 

[billd91]

And I hope he gets drunk, watches Beverley Hills Ninja, and laughs his ass off at it, and then THANKS YOU FOR IT!

That would be pretty sweet, wouldn't it?

 

[Eternalknight]

That would be fine by me. I would rather get no gifts than get gifts given that clearly have limited thought behind them.

Yet by making them choose off of a list they have absolutely NO thought put behind them.