D&D 5E So long and thanks for all the fish!

Steve glowered at Marco.

Lisa glowered at Marco.

Everyone else at the table glowered at Marco.

Marco said, "What?"

Thus began The Pelting of Marco with Whatever Dice and Miniatures were At Hand...

I've been asked to issue a statement to the effect that no fish were harmed in the making of this thread.

A fish once bit my sister...no realii...

SkidAce said:

A fish once bit my sister...no realii...

Click to expand...

SkidAce said:

A fish once bit my sister...no realii...

Click to expand...

Having now proven ourselves incapable of halting this runaway train at 500, does this mean we now have to spin it out to 1000?

Lan-"ah, sanity - you were a fine companion for the fleeting time I knew ya"-efan

Lanefan said:

Having now proven ourselves incapable of halting this runaway train at 500, does this mean we now have to spin it out to 1000?

Click to expand...

I tried, I really tried, but I fumbled my Wisdom save.

Maybe this thread is cursed and we are doomed to go on posting forever? If so, Remove Curse should fix it. A 9th-Level Paladin would know what to do. But we'd have to bring one in and that means more posts, explaining the sudden appearance of yet another new character. And then there's the fish connection. Maybe a Water Genasi Paladin? As it happens I have one called Carp Goodrock.

[sblock="Carp Goodrock"]
Carp Goodrock

9th-Level Water Genasi Paladin (Oath of The Ancients)
Medium Male Humanoid
Armour Class 19 (Splint Mail and Shield)
Hit Points 76 (9@ 1d10+2)
Speed 30 feet / Swim 30ft
Passive Perception 11
Initiative +1
Str 19 (+4) Dex 12 (+1) Con 14 (+2)
Int 8 (-1) Wis 12 (+1) Cha 14 (+2)
Proficiency Bonus +4
Alignment Neutral-Good
Languages Common, Primordial, Goblin
Background Hermit

FEATURES & TRAITS
Discovery
Divine Sense (three times/day)
Lay On Hands 45 Points
Spell Preparation - 6 Paladin spells
Oath Spells
Extra Attack
Divine Smite
Divine Health
Channel Divinity (Paladin) Nature's Wrath, Turn the Faithless
Aura of Protection, Aura of Warding
Fighting Style: Dueling
Call to the Wave
Acid Resistance
Amphibious
Swim

PROFICIENCIES
Herbalism Kit
Saving Throws: Wis, Cha

SKILLS
Intimidation +6, Medicine +5, Persuasion +6, Religion +3

ATTACKS
Battleaxe +8 To Hit, 1d8+6 slashing, versatile (d10)
Quarterstaff +8 To Hit, 1d6+6 bludgeoning, versatile (d8)

SPELLCASTING
Magic Ability: Cha
Focus: Holy Symbol
MAM: +6
SaveDC: 14
Spells Per Day: 4, 3, 2
Oath Spells: Ensnaring Strike, Speak with Animals, Misty Step, Moonbeam, Plant Growth, Protection from Energy
Spells Prepared: Bless, Command, Searing Smite, Thunderous Smite, Zone of Truth, Remove Curse

EQUIPMENT (110 lb)
Splint Mail, Shield, Battleaxe, Quarterstaff, Holy Symbol, Backpack, Blanket, Candles(10), Tinderbox, Alms Box, Blocks of Incense(2), Censer, Vestments, Day's Rations(2), Waterskin, Scroll Case of Notes, Winter Blanket, Common Clothes, Herbalism Kit, Ivory Knife, 4 gems@100gp, 175gp, A metal urn containing the ashes of a hero

PERSONAL CHARACTERISTICS
Carp connects everything that happens to him to a grand cosmic plan and he is utterly serene, even in the face of disaster.
Ideal - Self-Knowledge. If you know yourself, there is nothing left to know.
Bond: Should Carp's discovery come to light, it could bring ruin to the world.
Flaw: Carp lets his need to win arguments overshadow friendships and harmony.
[/sblock]
He's a bit of a loner but he might be persuaded to do us a one-off favour. Of course, his backstory would have to be suitably angled.

I think we've already seen our piscine Paladin of sorts, just in disguise. But here he is, springing into action.