Happy Haggert Hurried Hungry Hitch Hiking Hired Henchmen Hivers.... apply within

I love female magicians. They're magician and beautiful assistant in one.

Remember the Amazon link to a lamp I posted?

It comes with a USB cable but no AC plug. Some surge protectors come with USB ports. You could plug it into a desktop or laptop to power it if you don't have a spare plug. And I noticed a smell when I took it out of the box. I'm not sure where smell was coming from, the lamp or the cable. That's a little odd.

Aeson said:

I love female magicians. They're magician and beautiful assistant in one.

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I’ve seen her act before. Damned impressive!

If you can get a jaw drop out of Penn Jillette, you're doing something right.

Indeed!

Batman doesn't use his blinker.....the criminal....

Protip: At midnight your excuse for not having read The Great Gatsby can switch from "I'm worried about violating copyright" to "I think my copy requires Flash."

Aeson said:

I need input on this. I don't know how to feel about it. Right now I feel pretty naughty word.

I had a conversation with my mom yesterday about what I hope to be able to do in the short term and long term. I had said my investment goal is to have enough money so when I end up in a home I can afford one where I'll be cared for and not abused and neglected. She said she wanted me to be able to move in with my sister. She and her husband will not make it without help. They rely too heavily on my mom's income.
I said I couldn't live with my sister or I'd be there now. I'll just be replacing my mom as caregiver and piggy bank.

This is the part I'm having trouble with. I realized tonight, my mom believes I'll never be able to find a partner and will be alone for the rest of my life. It's one thing for me to feel that way. It's REALLY depressing to find out everyone else thinks it to.

A long time ago I would show up at family functions and would be asked where my girlfriend was. Why don't you bring a girl with you? After a time the questions became about my parents instead of a girl. At some point they stopped asking all together. I don't know what is more depressing, when the questions start, change, or stop.

It's not easy to hear it coming from your own mom. She's a lot like me, pessimistic about everything. I know I'm going to be alone. I just don't want to hear it from others. Someone needs to be optimistic.

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Family is tricky. And even with what you said, there's still a lot we don't know about the situation. For example, I don't know what situation your sister and her husband is in that they require help. Seems to be something more than just financial assistance...

Thing is, while I believe it is important to help family when we can, it isn't up to us go give up everything for them (though would perhaps be different if it was your own child that needed the help). We are our own people and have our own lives. Maybe we'll find someone, maybe we won't. I doubted I would find someone... became married. Later divorced, but the point is that I found someone even when I doubted I ever would and the chance is entirely there that I will find someone else.

It won't necessarily be easy trying to forge your own path. I had made a few decisions that basically set my mother against me. It wasn't even anything that affected her. One of the biggest decisions is that I fell in love with (and married) a girl who was half-Somali, half-Arab. Obviously, she wasn't white. I never knew it would have such a huge impact on my mother, but apparently she's racist and she perceived it as an attack on her. She couldn't be happy for me. We argued a lot and eventually I had to remove my mother from my life. While I do occasionally wonder where she's at right now, I know that even though the end was because of my decision, everything that led up to that decision was because my mother couldn't be happy for me even though I was doing what was right for me. However, in the end, while I wish things had turned out differently, as long as she has that attitude, she was going to bring nothing but negativity in my life and I'm better without that negativity.

I'm not saying that you need to go THAT extreme, but my point is that you should do what feels right for you. I don't think you should feel naughty word for doing what's best for yourself, for not sacrificing yourself for another person. Just offer what assistance you are willing/able to provide. If they are unhappy with it, it's on them, not you.

My sister is essentially disabled but can't get disability. So zero income from her. For the longest time she rarely cooked or cleaned, or even really took care of her kids. My mom did most of it. Her husband work a very physical job full time. He has knee and back problems because of it. So sometimes he's not able to do things. So, they just have the one income and bad spending habits.

I'm a lot more laid back and easy going. My sister nurses grudges, and will bring up things decades old when she's mad. Forgiveness is not in her vocabulary. And our political/social/economic/religious views are polar opposite from each other. If we didn't have parents in common I know I wouldn't have anything to do with her. Our orbits would never have crossed in life. We can't even agree to cheer for the same college football team. Lol

I don't want my mom trying to guilt me into something that's not going to work. I wonder if it would have come up if I had been married. Would she expect both families to live together?