1000 Signs you're in GM HELL

# 178: Getting whined out for giving a PC's 18th level character a 1000 XP penalty when you caught them reading over the monster they were fighting, right after you specifically told him NOT to go near the books while you used the restroom for the first time in 7 hours.
 

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#179 You just sit down with your five new players and they are engrossed in a discusion concerning which one of their Drow Rangers is cooler than the others.
 


Abstraction said:
158. You can't reference your own quotes accurately.

#+1. You take too long entering in ways you have lived in DM hell and realize you need to renumber them, but forget to include references to those numbers. And then you post an unnecessary explanation, all the while neglecting creating an adventure for this week.

(Sorry for the misnumbering, but everything I mentioned has actually happened, even the guy that wanted to play the immortal destroyer of worlds in a low-power fantasy game.)
 


d4: Any player utters the words: "I play a ninja"
d6: A player insists on playing a psion/forsaker
d8: You hear "I'm chaotic neutral. Why can't I just kill whoever I want?"

Jürgen Hubert said:
You know, someone should collect all those "1000 Signs" and similar threads and put them on a website somewhere (perhaps the RPGNet Wiki?)...

This is Portable Hole material. Whatever the next book in the series is called. World's Largest Portable Hole or something.
 

185. The Rogue takes a sorcerer level and wants to train his monkey familiar to be a "loot Monkey" so he can get loot from fallen foes in combat before others.

186. The players are all spellcasters with high DC saves
187. New guy shows up with a human with all 18s and said he rolled them fairly
188. You tell him to reroll and he comes back with a human chracter with all 18s except CHR, which is 17.
189. Every player has more spare time than you and min/maxs from books you never even heard of
190. The party cleric, who is necassary to the success of the adventure, dies in a minor encounter in the first combat
191. He announces that his character is happy with his god and is unwilling to be resed.
192. The party Rogue doesn't like to steal...
193. Everyone else in the party steals from everyone else, including other party members
194. You never get anything done cause someone is always stealing from the party.
195. The party cleric has figured out how to max her level to +13 when casting Holy Word
196. You didn't notice until she blind sided you with it by only casting that spell through the whole dungeon
197. The party cleric also discovered she could wind walk the party through the whole dungeon to get to the BBEG, by passing your hard work
198. You try to nerf spells and the whole party threatens to turn evil, even though they act evil already anyway
199. Girlfriend of PC wants to play, you send party on mission to deliver a message, she says, "Easy, I use my cell phone,"
200. The party alchemist keeps trying to introduce guns and gun powder into your midevil campiagn.
 
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202. your players get into the physics of a decanter of endless water and try to flood the world

203. Your players, upset that you don't think you can light a torch in 60mph winds with a flint and steel, get into a truck and hit the freeway to prove you wrong.

Unfortunately both true
 

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