1001 Magic Items Nobody Wants

Here's a few inspired by a thread over on Mortality.net

673. Toes of Vecna
674. Big Toe of Vecna
675. Toes of Goblin Speed. Similar to the Vecna items, but require a little more work to 'wear'
676. Ring of Illusionary Allure - Kobolds. Makes the wearer much more attractive to Kobolds.
 

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678- Gloves of Hand Stands
679- Walking Stick of Swimming

(or for that matter)

680- 100 pound stone of +5 to swim checks.
681- Circlet of Blasting, Migraine
682- Lyre of Fire Pants
683- Caltrops of the Zephyr
684- Boccobs Blasted Etch-A-Sketch Book
685- Canteen of Endless Saltwater
 

686. Spectacles of Double Vision
687. Spectacles of 3D Vision (the old blue and red ones)
688. Rod of Lightning Attraction (looks similar to a golf club)
689. Dinnerware of Sliding & Spilling
690. Banjo of Silence 15' (fortunately no one can hear the banjo either)
691. Wig of Headbanging
692. Cape of Snagging & Choking
693. Flaming Scrollcase
694. Chest of Disintegration (half-full of ashes, it destroys anything placed inside)
695. Cat of Tongue-catching
696. Cat of Infinite Hairballs (not really magic, but the shear amount of hairballs makes you stunned with wonderment)
697. Quill of Burning (AKA Flaming Quill)
698. Robes of Devouring
699. Potatoes of Seeing (but they can't tell you anything unless you have 'talk to plants' and you have to mash it out of them)
700. Spectacles of Giant Eyes (AKA Glasses of Coke Bottles)
701. Bandages of Bleeding
702. Rubberband Golems (rubberband range attacks[2] for subdual damage of 1 each; range 30')
703. Dog of Trash & Feces Detection (not magic but some are better than others)
704. Nose of Fear Sensing (can smell from a mile away)
705. Robe of Disarming
706. Robe of Disrobing (was this mentioned yet? I didn't see it)
707. Invisible Robes (much like the Emporer's new robes...)
708. Robes of Intercepting (negates evasion abilities and subtracts -5 to AC)
709. Smiley-face Shirt of Oblivion (wearer becomes naive of any problems and those seeing the wearer's shirt become one catagory more un-friendly)
710. Magnetic Armor (adds a +3 to any attack roles made by metal weapons vs. the wearer of the armor)
711. Bottomless Squishy (always gives anyone drinking from it a cold headache)
 

Hmm, I've come to this rather late... But I'll take a stab at it anyway.

712. Portabello Hole (No matter what you put in, you always get large mushrooms out... Tastey though.)

713. Haywards Hefty Sinch Sack

714. Quall's Feather Tolkien (Summons a surly, luddite, english writer. ):cool:

715. Robe of Villi (Goes with Helm of Ameoba Strength)

716. Magic Missile-Toes (HIT THE DIRT! INCOMMING TOES!)
 


718. Wand of Fireball Jawbreakers
719. Staff of the Magi's Dumb Nephew Cletus
720. Boots of Skipping and Hopping
721. Ring of Degeneration
722. Immovable Codpiece
723. Helm of Brilliance, 400 Watts
724. Book of Vile Recipes
 


BUMPing a dead thread here... we never did reach 1001.

727. Ring of mispelling
728. Absorbing rod (its conversations are just so fascinating...)
729. The Other Hand of Vecna
730. The Mouse of St. Cuthbert
731. Deck of Nothing.

Demiurge out.
 


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