1001 Magic Items Nobody Wants

Kae'Yoss · Jul 24, 2003

458. Tome of Literacy
459. Symbol, Cure Blindness.
460. Power Word, HearAgain.
461. Emotion of Indifference
462. Priest's Garment of the Atheist
463. Vorpal Razor ("Shaving like real men!")
464. Contract of Lawyer Summoning.

Sejs · Jul 24, 2003

I've decided that the thread name is redundant now. Do you think we can make 1001?

Yessir, indeed I do!

Well, they do cost 400 gp now.

Yeah, this economic downturn has hit everyone pretty hard... even those in the Instant Tree industry.

465. Band of the Garage
466. Pink Feather Boa of the Queen
467. Cement Boots of the Sea
468. Naughty Tentacle Rod
469. Ring of the Hive Mime
470. Tree Sap of Stunning
471. Mace of Foam
472. Blade of the Dualist
473. Broom of Sweeping
474. Weapon of Sure Striking: when drawn, weapon refuses to work until it's contract is renegotiated
475. Weapon of Energy Aura (Potential)
476. Numeric Variable Shield +N (only useful for calculating theoritical ac)
477. Useless Buckler (with things such as a toothpick, half a moldy sandwich, and a sock with a hole in the heel)
478. Trident of Plankton Command
479. Wand of Lightning Blot
480. Wand of Burning Hans (summons a muscular german man in a red speedo for 1 round/caster level. Hans does nothing but flex and pose)

KDLadage · Jul 24, 2003

481. Belt of Ochre Strength
482. Socks of Fungus Command
483. Ronald Ray Gun (+1/+9 vs. Democrats; weilder is struck with a Feeblemind spell with each use, no save)
484. Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
485. Scroll with spell "Summon Quasar Dragon"

Kae'Yoss · Jul 24, 2003

Sejs said:
480. Wand of Burning Hans (summons a muscular german man in a red speedo for 1 round/caster level. Hans does nothing but flex and pose)

So we're getting racist now?

At least you aren't cruel to animals.

I am

486. Staff of burning hens. (a.k.a. chicken spit)

(do we have all "hands" variants now? I think Burning Hence is still missing.)

Psionicist · Jul 24, 2003

487. Encyclopedia of Demons & Devils

andargor · Jul 24, 2003

488. Ring of DM Control

Andargor

ZSutherland · Jul 24, 2003

489. Figurine of Wonderous Flower (any of them)

KDLadage · Jul 24, 2003

andargor said:
488. Ring of DM Control

Andargor

I am sorry, you are on the wrong list. This is for magic items that nobody wants, not the magic items that everybody wants...

andargor · Jul 24, 2003

KDLadage said:
I am sorry, you are on the wrong list. This is for magic items that nobody wants, not the magic items that everybody wants...

That's the whole point. The ring is useless, since the DM can Rule 0 it. (and the fact that it wouldn't work in RL)

Andargor

KDLadage · Jul 24, 2003

andargor said:
That's the whole point. The ring is useless, since the DM can Rule 0 it.

Gotcha.

andargor said:
(and the fact that it wouldn't work in RL)

Why not? Sombody has to be running this show...

Continuing on...

490. Arrow of Staying (will not leave the bow)
491. Ship of Fools
492. Vecna's Life Insurance Policy
493. Mighty Composite Bow of Double Vision
494. Trident of Gum (+1/+3 vs. sugar)
495. Pegleg Pete's Brilliant Energy Vorpal Battleaxe of Clumsiness