D&D 5E 101 things to say or do when you fail your pick-pocket check
1) Palm a small dead very poisonous bug and when caught claim "This was on your shirt good sir!"
2) Yell loudly "What have you done with the talisman?! I saw you put it in your pocket! You gave it to her, didn't you!", and then run out of the room.
BoldItalic
First Post
3) "Now that I've got your attention, good sir/madam, let me tell you about the path of the holy mirror/camel/antelope/pedestal. No, please, don't walk away! I would save your immortal soul!"
4) "Youze gorra nice face, gizza drink? Hic!"
5) "Spare a coin for a poor diseased invalid with the virulent skin pox?"
6) "Reebly, reebly, reebly, poor Tom's a bedlam. Yellow is the colour of my true loves' nose."
7) "Pouch checking sir/madam. Nothing illegal in yours. You are free to go."
4) "Youze gorra nice face, gizza drink? Hic!"
5) "Spare a coin for a poor diseased invalid with the virulent skin pox?"
6) "Reebly, reebly, reebly, poor Tom's a bedlam. Yellow is the colour of my true loves' nose."
7) "Pouch checking sir/madam. Nothing illegal in yours. You are free to go."
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Cyan Wisp
Explorer
8) Hmm. Superb pocket aperture, my good man. Best I've seen. May I have the name of your tailor?
9) Easy! Don't move. You have a mimic in your pocket. Don't move, or you'll lose your left cheek. I'm an expert, trust me.
10) Congratulations! You passed the test. Have you considered joining the City Watch? We need people like you.
11) That was lucky, madam! Your prized jewels fell, I caught them before they shattered on the cobbles.
9) Easy! Don't move. You have a mimic in your pocket. Don't move, or you'll lose your left cheek. I'm an expert, trust me.
10) Congratulations! You passed the test. Have you considered joining the City Watch? We need people like you.
11) That was lucky, madam! Your prized jewels fell, I caught them before they shattered on the cobbles.
Eltab
Lord of the Hidden Layer
12) (to nobleman in fancy dress) Goodsir, the lint is coming out of your pocket ! Fortunately, I know a tailor who can fix that up, if you'd like?
13) (to commoner) Good heavens ! That awful bug ! Surely it was poisonous ! However did it get into your coin purse? You have to be careful, it might have laid eggs in there ! I can check it for you.
14) Pardon my clumsiness, sir. I'd trip over my own shoelaces even when they WEREN'T tied together, my old marm always said. I apologize. Good day !
15) Excuse me, my good man, ummm, since I've got your attention anyways, could you point me to a really good food vendor? I like to try tasty local specialties when I travel.
16) I've been following that fellow over there -point at somebody who just walked by the owner of the pocket- and thought I saw him place a stolen trinket in your pocket, to frame you for the theft no doubt. I had hoped to simply remove it so you could not be drawn into his affair. I apologize if I've assumed too much on you. Would you be so kind as to check for yourself?
17) -Pull out a handkerchief- Sir, the styled handkerchief is swiftly coming into fashion and fits nicely in any pocket. Let me demonstrate - they're only 1 SP each, if you'd like to buy one - this demonstrates to anybody who looks that you have taste, class, and belong among the upper crust of society.
18) I don't blame you for fearing thieves, sir, in this part of the world. Nobody can be too careful these days. Why, look here, how frayed this cord is getting, just from the use of the everyday. You'll have to replace it soon, I can see.
19) (Arcane Tricksters have enhanced Mage Hand, of course) Now, sir, don't lay any accusations like THAT lightly. See both my hands here before you, empty... -use invisible Mage Hand to tug on his coin purse again, hard enough for him to feel- I saw that! Didn't you see it too - feel it? There has to be a magical thief near about, probably invisible so he can hide ! Call the guards and search the grounds!
13) (to commoner) Good heavens ! That awful bug ! Surely it was poisonous ! However did it get into your coin purse? You have to be careful, it might have laid eggs in there ! I can check it for you.
14) Pardon my clumsiness, sir. I'd trip over my own shoelaces even when they WEREN'T tied together, my old marm always said. I apologize. Good day !
15) Excuse me, my good man, ummm, since I've got your attention anyways, could you point me to a really good food vendor? I like to try tasty local specialties when I travel.
16) I've been following that fellow over there -point at somebody who just walked by the owner of the pocket- and thought I saw him place a stolen trinket in your pocket, to frame you for the theft no doubt. I had hoped to simply remove it so you could not be drawn into his affair. I apologize if I've assumed too much on you. Would you be so kind as to check for yourself?
17) -Pull out a handkerchief- Sir, the styled handkerchief is swiftly coming into fashion and fits nicely in any pocket. Let me demonstrate - they're only 1 SP each, if you'd like to buy one - this demonstrates to anybody who looks that you have taste, class, and belong among the upper crust of society.
18) I don't blame you for fearing thieves, sir, in this part of the world. Nobody can be too careful these days. Why, look here, how frayed this cord is getting, just from the use of the everyday. You'll have to replace it soon, I can see.
19) (Arcane Tricksters have enhanced Mage Hand, of course) Now, sir, don't lay any accusations like THAT lightly. See both my hands here before you, empty... -use invisible Mage Hand to tug on his coin purse again, hard enough for him to feel- I saw that! Didn't you see it too - feel it? There has to be a magical thief near about, probably invisible so he can hide ! Call the guards and search the grounds!
crashtestdummy
First Post
20) (To a commoner, speaking loudly). You're under arrest. I'm Captain Smeagol of the Secret Police. I saw you hide that jewel in your pocket, and I'm taking you in before you get a chance to dispose of it (try to play it up to make the victim run away, drawing suspicion with them).
Eltab
Lord of the Hidden Layer
21) Keep ahold of the coin purse, yell "HEY! Give it back, THIEF!", and start wrestling him for it.
22) Do not try to pick my AL character's pocket: (a) His coin purse's opening has metal shards and blades woven into it, the better to snag unpracticed thieves; (b) coin purse is filled with gold-painted wooden disks.
23) Produce your own wallet from your pocket, and observe how "mine is bigger than yours." Give him back the smaller / lighter one.
24) Offer your would-be victim 1 GP for being having foiled you. (Working with (4e?) economic scale where 1 GP = week's wages for laborer)
22) Do not try to pick my AL character's pocket: (a) His coin purse's opening has metal shards and blades woven into it, the better to snag unpracticed thieves; (b) coin purse is filled with gold-painted wooden disks.
23) Produce your own wallet from your pocket, and observe how "mine is bigger than yours." Give him back the smaller / lighter one.
24) Offer your would-be victim 1 GP for being having foiled you. (Working with (4e?) economic scale where 1 GP = week's wages for laborer)
might i say you are very delicious.Azurewraith
Explorer
26)Sorry you appear to have caught me picking your pocket terribly sorry for the inconvenience.
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