14 year old girl wants to join my game

krissbeth · Oct 24, 2007

Female point of view:

Creepy.

Also, were I in a gaming group, average age 30, considering allowing a 14 year old girl in, I'd be incredibly uncomfortable as a gamer.

wingsandsword · Oct 24, 2007

My one experience with a seriously underage gamer in the group:

Several years ago (I was running AD&D 2e because it was what was current, wow, that makes me feel old) I was running a game. It was composed of people from the gaming club on campus, so people generally from 18 to the mid 20's (I was about 20 at the time).

One person in the group, my best friend actually, wanted to bring his little sister to the game, who was 12 at the time. She was going to be in town with family for the weekend, and would be spending all Saturday (when our game was) with him, and she wanted to try "real" D&D with a whole party. He'd been running one-on-one sessions with her for about a year so she knew the rules and what D&D was, but had been wanting to play the real thing. I had also met his little sister before, as she visited every few months and we'd been introduced and knew each other in passing already (and had otherwise been introduced to most of the gaming group she would be playing with).

I was a little wary of gaming with a 12 year old, but it was only for one session, and it was her big brother (13 years her senior, speaking of teachers, actually he was in the Masters in Education program getting his Master's and Teaching Certification at the time).

The session itself went fine, and no negative repercussions ensued (actually, her dad and I got to know each other in later years, and I apparently made a decent impression on him), but some other members of the group questioned my judgment in it. If she hadn't been with an adult-age sibling or parent there there was no way I would have allowed it.

Nifft · Oct 24, 2007

wingsandsword said:
If she hadn't been with an adult-age sibling or parent there there was no way I would have allowed it.

The portable guardian improves the minor's viability a lot.

Cheers, -- N

MojoGM · Oct 24, 2007

krissbeth said:
Female point of view:

Creepy.

Also, were I in a gaming group, average age 30, considering allowing a 14 year old girl in, I'd be incredibly uncomfortable as a gamer.

Yeah, it is a little creepy. No, it can't be a good idea...

Shortman McLeod · Oct 24, 2007

Mark Chance said:
I'm a teacher. I never socialize with my students more than eating lunch with them at school or tossing a frisbee around on the playground during the school day. I would never allow a minor into my gaming group, with the only likely exceptions being my own children, and even those exceptions aren't very likely at all.

Well said. I'm a teacher in Canada, and it is unbelievably foolish for any teacher in any country to socialize in anyway with a fourteen year old girl.

But go ahead if you want to bro . . . it's your career.

(I mean the OP, not Mark Chance.

)

Shortman McLeod · Oct 24, 2007

krissbeth said:
Female point of view:

Creepy.

Also, were I in a gaming group, average age 30, considering allowing a 14 year old girl in, I'd be incredibly uncomfortable as a gamer.

That was actually my first thought also: what kind of 30something guys WANT to game with a 14 year old girl? Then I realized the answer, and it wasn't pleasant. :\

Templetroll · Oct 24, 2007

Arrgh! Mark! said:
Legally there really isn't a problem. As an Aussie we really aren't as legal-suit happy as some Yanks I've heard about so that generally isn't going to be the problem. The only real danger is to my reputation - and the best way to handle that is to be open and honest about it.

My missus seems particularly against it for some reason, (She keeps saying 'She's fourteen years old, after all - we are all much older) though the rest of the group haven't got a problem.

I'm yet to hear back - but at this junction it seems the effort to have the girl join isn't worth it. (I've already got a group of 8 people.)

But at this point it depends on how diplomatic she is, I suppose.

People who have had kids in their games, is it worth it?

I think gaming with your own children is a fantastic thing. I'd be leery of having more than 8 players in a game, though!

My daughter joined our gaming group when she was 10; she is 18 now. The other players were all adults of late-20's or above. Another player's 15 year old son also played. That group ran sucessfully for 5+ years. It broke up due to the dreaded Real Life (tm) of work requiring more time than before.

The only problem that occurred was that her first character, a teenage human female wizard with a witch kit named Sabrina

died quickly at the Moathouse near Hommlet. After that she asked if she could play an intelligent animal. From then on her choices were a variety of interesting creatures. One player got annoyed once when my dead dwarf was thinking of being reincarnated; he didn't want the party to become a 'zoo'. We raised him instead.

Currently, we game with groups that have high school students to adults my age, 52. It can be odd but fun.

Charwoman Gene · Oct 24, 2007

This guy wanted to join our game.

Arrgh! Mark! · Oct 25, 2007

Shortman Mcleod, etc,

Perhaps you didn't mean it that way, but you just accused me (and by association my gaming group) as a particular breed of sexual deviant or being creepy; I don't think I deserve that label.

Let us also not forget that the girl approached me; I wasn't wearing a dark coat and hanging around the schoolyard handing out Players Handbooks here.

palleomortis · Oct 25, 2007

Shortman McLeod said:
Well said. I'm a teacher in Canada, and it is unbelievably foolish for any teacher in any country to socialize in anyway with a fourteen year old girl.

But go ahead if you want to bro . . . it's your career.

(I mean the OP, not Mark Chance. )

This in and of itself can be debated as well. I live in a small town, wich, I know, makes things a little different. But sometimes (and it doens't seem the case here) it can help a student to have a teacher as a role model that's seem after class. Not on a constant basis of friendship, but at least do a SCHOOL function together. Example: I have a P.E./Health teacher that is very much involved in school functions, but also would be more than happy to go out of her way to help a kid out and be a friend if she though he/she needed one. She's also one of the best teachers we have. I guess it all boils down to your definition of "socialize". But so far as this case goes, I would say the best advice so far is to respecfully decline, explain why, and then maybe help her find a group of peers.