M.T. Black
Hero
I asked social media for real-life examples of "bad" DM etiquette and got about a hundred responses. I've taken that information and devised 7 golden rules of DM etiquette:
- Be Consistent: Apply the rules consistently. Be clear about whether you're using official rules or house rules, and ensure that players understand and experience them uniformly throughout the campaign. If you need to make a change, communicate the reasons why and get player buy-in. In the same way, present the game world details as consistently as possible; this greatly aids player immersion.
- Respect Player Agency: Value and respect your players—that means respecting their characters, their decisions, and their creativity. If a player uses an ability or item effectively or creatively, reward this ingenuity rather than looking for ways to counter it. This encourages players to pay attention, think laterally, and engage more deeply with the game. And avoid overriding player decisions or dictating character reactions as this is a quick way to get players to disengage.
- Be Prepared and Knowledgeable: Ensure you have a solid grasp of the game rules. You don’t need to be an expert, but you should understand the fundamentals. Prepare adequately for each session. The level of preparation required can differ among DMs, as some are naturally adept at improvisation. Determine the amount of prep you personally need to ensure a good session. A knowledgeable and prepared DM facilitates a smoother and more immersive experience for the players.
- Honor Player Boundaries and Foster Inclusion: Be attentive to your players' comfort levels and boundaries. Avoid introducing content that may be inappropriate. Do not show favoritism toward some players—rather, ensure the spotlight is shared around equally. In the same way, do not hold grudges against a player. Indeed, avoid being adversarial, and instead treat all players in a fair and welcoming manner.
- Avoid Overbearing Control: While guiding the game, avoid being overly controlling in your storytelling. Allow space for player-driven narrative and be flexible enough to adapt when players take unexpected paths. Where possible, incorporate changing character goals into the campaign. Avoid lengthy lore dumps or sessions dominated by exposition, and instead balance DM narrative with player interaction.
- Communicate Clearly and Effectively: Keep communication with your players clear and direct. When introducing new rules or making other significant decisions, discuss these openly with your group to maintain transparency and clarity. At the start of each session, provide a simple recap of the last session. And don’t be afraid to ask your players clarifying questions, especially when they are describing character actions.
- Encourage Mutual Respect: Foster an environment of respect where both DM and players feel heard and valued. Encourage players to actively listen when others are taking their turn—this creates a collegial table environment and often leads to excellent roleplaying moments. Check in with players after heavy sessions, or if you think someone’s boundaries were violated. Resolve conflicts quickly and directly, rather than ignore them.
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