I do appreciate the replies, and I have changed my point of view with regards to what CHR represents is because of this thread.
I still think it's an interesting question, though. And, I do think someone can be quite intimidating just by the look of them. "Yeah, he was a scary moe-foe until he opened his mouth!"
But, I've got a better grasp on the 3.5 version of CHR...and, in a way, it's really going to change my game. Because I've gone from the old school paladin CHR mindset (that high CHR means a charming, respected, eloquent, gregarious leader) to a broader definition of CHR (to where high CHR can mean the the exact opposite of the paladin CHR, where the key difference is force of personality able to attract followers). The paladin in shining armor or the evil necromancer--both can exert their will on others via their personalities, and thus both have high CHR scores.
My original "disconnect" question isn't quite answered, but I feel I'm better prepared to deal with the situation then before I started the thread.