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A Kingdom of Ashes (Zombies! Pirates! Giant Lizards! Intrigue!) UPDATED 07/01/05!!

Hey Universe, I was wondering if you have written any world prologues. I'm going to be writing one soon, and I can't get a good start going. I know everything about my world, but I just can't get one sentence that starts it off nicely.

http://lonations.thefreebizhost.com/xerin.jpg

Thats the map I drew of the world.

I was just hoping to read something of yours because your writing is amazing. I've got an amazing storyline set up for this campaign, so when its finish I'll post it for you ;)
 

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I'll have to dig around on the PC at home - I've written something so similar to what you're asking about (I think) for another game world, but Aeres doesn't have that, at least as of so far.

I've used the world in various time periods for a couple of games now, and both its past and future present the potential for other campaigns - I've tried to resist committing the past to paper completely, if only because doing so would prevent me from gaming there (then?) later.

Your continent looks good, and geologically plausible, at least.

As for writing stuff for your players to read, I generally think it's best to pick a person's perspective, and use that. It doesn't have to be an NPC, or anyone that they would or will know. But, filtering the information that you know through the perspective of another mortal (albeit one in a different time period) is a good way to help your readers identify with the history of the world. Hence, rather than a omniscient report of everything that was happening (as you can see in the character prologues) I tried to limit the perspective of the reader to that which could have been seen heard and felt by the character. So, you might start with the tale of a farmer or herdsman, talking about how he or she encountered the important elements of the world.

"The Sun beat down on Steve Johnson, pulling sweat from every pore. He stumbled behind the plow, absently cracking his whip to drive the quornak that pulled it. As the iron blade turned the red earth ahead of him, he risked a wary glance to the east. The bandar would be coming soon. Steve silently prayed to Lemenor, beggingthe Hearthlord for mercy, for him to drive the bandar past his mud-packed hovel. Steve had no sacrifice for them, save his daughter, and he would die before he let them have her."

In just a couple of sentences, you've told the players that 1) the sun is referred to as the Sun, people have names like "Steve Johnson," and that farmers use relatively primitive implements. Additionally, you've told them that there's a beast of burden (of some sort) in the world called a quornak. The bandar are obviously bad guys of a sort that want sacrifices and come from the east, and Lemenor is a deity or concept that can be prayed to, and is believed to grant boons and favors. In the example, you've already told your characters a bunch about the world, and you haven't let it become a book report. Does that help?

Alternatively, you can just throw your players in to the world, and slowly introduce them to the unique elements. Sometimes, it's nice to let them discover the world slowly...

Anyway, I hope that helps.

For the campaign being written here, I gave the players a basic idea about how the world differed from a standard D&D world (not much), and then gave them a timeline for the important events of known history. That seemed to work pretty well, and I've largely let the players' questions let me know where the gaps needed to be filled.

Once you get your stuff written, start a story hour! This is a great place to find feedback and appreciation for your hard work.
 
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This is what I have so far. How does it sound? Mind you, there is a lot that needs to be filled in.

The world of Xerin is a wondrous land split into many different islands. One of these Islands is called Tanos. Tanos holds many kingdoms such as Maltica, Terris, Levira, and Cytolis. It is ruled by the high council. It is the main island of the world and because of this; it is the home to many races.

The kingdom of Cytolis gets its name from a legend in the first days of the world known to the elders as the “Land of the Cyclops.” Cytolis was the name of the first Cyclops lord and overseer of the kingdom. He was a mighty warrior. Cytolis was the best in the eastern lands and many feared him. Even though he lived some 4000 years ago, his legend still stands. Cytolis and his famous golden hammer of destruction is a story told where Cytolis single handedly killed 50 elven warriors. The legend has made Cytolis more vicious than he actually was and has struck fear into the hearts of almost every Elf. To this day, elves stay away from the mountains where many Cyclopes still inhabit the mountains. Up in the mountains there are several statues of Cytolis with his golden hammer and dead elves at his feet. Cytolis today is ruled by Barbarians that came in and overthrew a cyclops ruler some 200 years ago.

The kingdom Maltica is named after the word malice meaning a desire to harm others or to see others suffer. The name came about because every leader that Matica has had has been an evil tyrant. The leaders do what they must to make their people listen. Whether it is torture, or death as an example to the rest of the people, the leaders have stricken fear into their followers. Because of this treatment many rebel groups have developed. Some make themselves known by sabotaging some of the king’s belongings. Some actually kill soldiers in the king’s army. And some just lay dormant waiting for their opportunity to strike. These rebel groups are spread all about Maltica. They are in the mountains, underground, and even in the grassy hills.

King Malon is the current king of Maltica. He is the worst of all the kings Maltica has had in nearly 2500 years. He may be a tyrant, but he isn’t an unintelligent one. He is a genius in military tactics. He has 100 specially trained warriors that are his very own personal guards. They are trained to duel wield weapons like axes and long swords. They do not use shields because it is a sign of weakness. Once, he had a parade and the village was late in making it ready, and in order to show he was unpleased he ordered his army to slay 1000 villagers. Because of this, the rebels have really started to show themselves as malicious warriors that won’t stop fighting until the king is overthrown. King Malon in response has started slaying 100 people a day until the rebel groups turn themselves in. The towns throughout Maltica can’t handle seeing 100 people killed everyday so they made laws to prevent rebellions from happening. The only way to protect oneself from the king’s malicious ways is to join the king’s army. Therefore everyone wants to join the army. Not necessarily to fight, but to survive. Because of this, the king’s army is vast and large.
To the southwest there is a smaller island called Renos, “the land of the dammed.” This is where all of the outcasts from Tanos are sent. Whether they be a prisoner, a scoundrel, a murderer, or just unwanted, they are sent to this small island. It is a cursed place to live. The strongest live and the others don’t. Watch your back is a common saying on this island. No kingdoms rule here but local warlords and the sword. In order to survive on this island one has to make friends quickly. Friends that will help you survive in return for you helping them survive. If you don’t, you are sure to be killed or merely die of starvation or cold.
 
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The_Universe said:
I'll have to dig around on the PC at home - I've written something so similar to what you're asking about (I think) for another game world, but Aeres doesn't have that, at least as of so far.
<snip>
I just wanted to pop in here again and say 'great advice' to The_Universe. Very well said and a nice example to boot. Follow that advice, Celahir, and it will work wonders for you.

One other short thing I'd like to add is a quote from another ENWorlder who was paraphrashing a quote from Mark Twain about writing. It went something like this:

"Never say 'the grandmother screamed'. Bring her on, and let her scream."

Basically, try not to describe things as 'wonderful' or 'jaded' or whatever before the reader has a chance to draw that conclusion, make them that way and let them draw that conclusion themself. One trick I used once when doing a very similar world introduction was to write a one-way first-person conversation from an old, irascible sage instructing a hesitant student. I was able to give the information I wanted to, shrouded in the old man's assumptions and life experiences, while tossing in colorful coloquialisms and insults.
 

ledded said:
I just wanted to pop in here again and say 'great advice' to The_Universe. Very well said and a nice example to boot. Follow that advice, Celahir, and it will work wonders for you.

One other short thing I'd like to add is a quote from another ENWorlder who was paraphrashing a quote from Mark Twain about writing. It went something like this:

"Never say 'the grandmother screamed'. Bring her on, and let her scream."

Basically, try not to describe things as 'wonderful' or 'jaded' or whatever before the reader has a chance to draw that conclusion, make them that way and let them draw that conclusion themself. One trick I used once when doing a very similar world introduction was to write a one-way first-person conversation from an old, irascible sage instructing a hesitant student. I was able to give the information I wanted to, shrouded in the old man's assumptions and life experiences, while tossing in colorful coloquialisms and insults.
Precisely!

The last thing I'll say on this particular subject is this: read. The more you expose yourself to how others write, the better your own writing will become. Don't copy, but allow yourself to be *inspired.*

Celahir - I think we could have a long conversation about how to shape up the details of your world. It's a great start, though!

Maybe cut the meat of your post and start a new thread on the general board? I'll keep an eye out for it, and I'll comment there (and invite others to do so).

Thanks!
 






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