Advice for Gamers in Society

[Mallus]

Well it is a lot more noticable in gaming than say train hobbiest or sky divers.

Put enough hobbyists together in the same place and they invariably become off-putting to non-hobbyists. They can be gamers, knitting aficionados, or collectors of small, quaint French automobiles.

Perhaps it would be more correct to say that there is some correlation between escapist hobbies and social retardation.

Some social retards like escapist hobbies. Some social retards are huge sports fans (note that all hobbies are escapist in that they focus a person's attention away from the more important parts of their lives).

The truth is there's a rich, wide world of social retards out there...

I think it would also be reasonable to say that people already possessing these problems are drawn to these hobbies because they seperate them from their problems a degree and in a self-sustaining circle because those hobbies seem more accepting to people like that because they're already full of people like that.

Yes, it's reasonable to say that 1) people like things that make them forget about their problems and 2) people like other people who accept them.

This is why good drinking buddies are an invaluable asset in life.

But what does this have to do, specifically, with D&D, Star Trek or Neon Genesis Evanegelion?

I guess what I'm trying to say is perhaps there is something fundamentally different about gamers as people.

This is a load of hooey.

 

[Maggan]

I think I'll focus on the positive:

Gamers don't incite riots outside football arenas.

For that, we should be given some thanks at least. There might be gamers who are offensive to the eye and the nose, but at least they aren't poking it and smashing it.

/M

 

[jaerdaph]

You can take this as gospel:

From OD&D to 4e, it doesn't matter what edition you play, Dungeons & Dragons never got anyone laid.

 

[Chainsaw]

You can take this as gospel:

From OD&D to 4e, it doesn't matter what edition you play, Dungeons & Dragons never got anyone laid.

Sure, not in the REAL world.. but my 17 Charisma rogue is the talk of the town..

 

[avin]

Well, I like shower and I'm married, can skip most of this

 

[Dragonbait]

Well, this thread has derailed a bit so I'll join the derailment .

(Edited to present a contrast: My other major hobby is poker, and the number of "characters" at a given poker table is much higher, percentage-wise, than at a given game table. There's no prevailing type, but poker players are loud and obnoxious, bullying, extremely withdrawn, ridiculously superstitious, and, to be kind, "dull average," among many other non-well-adjusted personality traits. Aside from the ridiculous profits to be had, I'd much, much, much prefer to be at a table of strangers gaming than at a table of strangers playing poker.)

And yet they're the one with the TV show and are called athletes. Why? There is money in gambiling.

Going back to the article I read, and coupling it with what Oni said:

I think it would also be reasonable to say that people already possessing these problems are drawn to these hobbies because they seperate them from their problems a degree and in a self-sustaining circle because those hobbies seem more accepting to people like that because they're already full of people like that.

A possible side-effect of a gaggle of social outcasts is that since they all know what its like to be rejected by society, they are abnormally tolerant of things in their group. They put up with people's "quirks" to a much higher degree than others, simply because they don't want to rock the boat and do the forbidden and reject someone lest they be rejected themselves. They put up with the guy who has atrocious body odor and never grooms. They put up with the guy who snaps at people and points to the things he wants them to get for him. They put up with the guy who throws a temper tantrum because he does not get his way. None of these things would be tolerated in most social groups.

Yes, Jeff Wilder, you are absolutely correct - these are the exception to the rule. In fact, at the one Gen Con I went to where I played D&D most of the time I only encountered 1 person out of 30 with odious personal habits. Yet, most people form their opinions on the extremes rather than the norm. We all know what non-gamers imagine when they hear D&D. I mean, look at what you said about LARPers and cosplay people. (Fun Fact: I know a cosplayer who thought that gamers were all LARPers and WoW players looked down on them).

 

[Calico_Jack73]

I couldn't disagree more. Much like you shouldn't just walk away if someone condemns you for your religion, skin color, sexual preference or whatever, there's no reason to simply let someone abuse you.

Yeah but much like religion and politics it is almost impossible to change someone's opinion once it has been made simply by getting into an argument with them.

If they "condemn" you because you are a roleplayer is it not better to prove them wrong through your actions? Disproving their preconceived stereotypes is a much better and longer lasting argument than a simple verbal battle which will probably result in reinforcing their dim opinion of roleplayers.

 

[Ulrick]

You can take this as gospel:

From OD&D to 4e, it doesn't matter what edition you play, Dungeons & Dragons never got anyone laid.

So all those T-shirts that say stuff like "I love nerds" and "I love my geek" are all a lie?

One thing that I have noticed over the years, however, is that when I tell a woman that I play D&D, I no longer get that "get away from me look." I might gets a polite laugh. But mostly they shrug it off. A rare one might be intrigued.

Perhaps its because I've practiced my own advice...

 

[jaerdaph]

So all those T-shirts that say stuff like "I love nerds" and "I love my geek" are all a lie?

Yes. Those chicks are in it for the free computer problems advice and not the dice....

 

[Lonely Tylenol]

Wow, you think that gaming has more social outcasts now than during the 80s? Wow. Were you around back then? Because I would argue the exact opposite, frankly. A lot of it has to do with the aging gamer population- even many of the extremely maladjusted have grown up to be beautiful swans, if you don't mind me mixing my metaphors a little bit there.

Seconded. Oh, god, the people I used to game with back in 1st edition. Oh god.

I posted a story in one of the old "Creepy Gamer" threads concerning the fellow whose life consisted entirely of gaming, porn*, and pirated video games**. Once I accidentally discovered a drawer full of pictures of children in their underwear he had clipped from the Sears catalog.

The people I game with these days are bright celestial beings by comparison.

*This was pre-internet, which meant stacks and stacks of glossy magazines, usually purchased second-hand from a used bookstore, eventually to be returned for store credit.
**In his defence, it was for the Amiga 500, and I was party to it. Finding software for that system was never easy, and so a network of disk-sharing popped up, sourced by whomever managed to get over to Europe every once in a while. I attribute my owning 3 different WipeOut games to my brand loyalty to Psygnosis generated during this period (still waiting for another Shadow of the Beast sequel...also, whatever happened to the Bitmap Brothers?).