D&D General "Argument-Stopping Protocols" -- please advise!

[Fanaelialae]

This sounds like two people trying to drive the same vehicle at the same time without even having agreed on a destination.

I agree with the others who've suggested that you each run your own campaign.

If you want to continue to co-DM, you could have the campaigns set in the same world but in geographically distant regions (in which case very large scale events might impact the other campaign for better or worse). Alternately they could be set in parallel universes, in which case you could use the same material but wouldn't be beholden to what happens in the other game.

 

[Eltab]

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions. This is helpful.

Thank you for elaborating further.

I'm going to jump on the bandwagon for 'two campaigns, separate but related'.

My group's long-time DM expressed the desire to get to play occasionally. Another group member stepped up to DM, at first for a mini-campaign then it evolved into two campaigns set 1000 miles away from each other. Each DM can rule as they wish and we players get to remember two sets of table variations. They have tried to be similar but not always; we can adapt.
Your table might to likewise.

The fact that you can own up to your share of the blame also means you are a step closer to solving the problem. If your co-DM does likewise, the arguments will be a temporary condition. Good luck!

 

[atanakar]

Just stop sharing the same campaign. Sharing never worked for me and my groups.

You can split the session in two (3-4 hours, break, 3-4 hours) or alternate weeks.

 

[jgsugden]

Yeah - this is best handled by running two campaigns. Your players may be excisted to start some new characters.

 

[jasper]

Two campaigns and it is gamers vs gamers. Write the house rules down for each dm. And talk to each other. This sounds likes best friends don't get along at the gaming table. That solution is one of the friends don't play with the group.

 

[Dungeonosophy]

Thanks again to everyone for sharing your experience and perspectives - this gives us some possibilities to consider.

 

[The Green Hermit]

Let us know how it works out.

 

[Scott Christian]

I agree, two separate campaigns are needed. Personally, it sounds like you have an idea in mind, and don't want to change it. So I'd suggest your buddy DM a campaign, and you play as a character. See what he likes about his heavy magic item/ruleset. It might broaden your DM approach, as well as offer a new view on characterization.

One last thing, if your friend DM's, I'd make sure there is a time limit on the campaign. Six months seems reasonable.

 

[Greenfield]

We have a coupleof tricks.

The most obvious policy is that we try to "ignore the Elephant, and Donkey, in the room." For those outside the US, that's a reference to the major political parties.

Rules arguments are settled by the DM, ideally with a clear reference to the rule book.

Personal arguments? We ask the combatants to step outside and leave us out of it.