Ashamed of being a Gamer?

[billd91]

Or, maybe she thinks you're a geek!

(Take that totally in good natured jest.)

I'm OK with that. My wife thinks I'm a geek. Of course, she is one too.

 

[Lwaxy]

We can all agree that RPGs is a dying hobby with minimal growth.

Not really. It has just gone out of the (bad) press so less people who would not, due to their geekiness, discover it anyway, hear about it.

 

[gamerprinter]

Really? All of us? I don't know about that.

Grass roots have been and will be the main means of spreading this time of hobby, particularly as long is it remains socially unacceptable.

But I don't know that there's a big recent shift for the worse here. D&D has catered to introverts for its entire existence, and has still grown. I think the hobby is on the rocks to some extent, but I think that's more a consequence of WoW and the MMO craze, 4e and the edition wars, and a general failure of the company that owns D&D in market leadership and advertising. I don't think the players of the game can do a whole lot about any of those things.

I think the grassroots aspect has been and will remain constant and will keep the hobby alive, though at the moment it seems to have largely abandonded the titular D&D.

Well perhaps it's arguable, but I know many with this point of view.

Ever seen this chart?

If we were talking about one edition, or one RPG, I can agree, but we're talking about an industry, not just one product.

Not really. It has just gone out of the (bad) press so less people who would not, due to their geekiness, discover it anyway, hear about it.

I guess my point is, being insular, can't help the growth of the game.

 

[Water Bob]

We can all agree that RPGs is a dying hobby with minimal growth.

I'm not sure about that. Maybe. I'd have to see industry sales figures.

Then again, maybe a change is needed (or maybe the industry is just fine). Maybe someone will figure out how to make pdf and electronic products uber profitable. Maybe a new business model is needed (off the top of my head--free product that collects advertising fees). Maybe the bestus, neatesest, super-wow version of an online pnp gaming system will appear with a host of ready-made campaigns and adventures to play.

The Movie industry adapted to DVD sales and made that sector profitable--sometimes more profitalbe than the theatrical release. Maybe...maybe something akin to that is in the future of our hobby.

We really don't know.

OTOH, I see at the top of this forum page an add for the Wynn Casino in Las Vegas. That, right there, tells me that someone has figured out that gaming has an aging customer base.

 

[Water Bob]

Ever seen this chart?

I remember it well from early business classes in college.

Lack of growth or gradual decline is no indication for something to disappear, contrary to what the business world keeps saying.

Even if it did...if gaming completely disappeared over night. I think that most us have enough gaming material to last us until we die. I know I do.

 

[Yora]

That's what I mean. Even with all commercial producers going defunct, gaming is still around.

 

[Elf Witch]

You mean, if my mom can't accept that I'm a gamer and doesn't want to talk to her Sunday noon tea friends about her nerdy kid when all the moms are bragging on their children's accomplishments, that she shouldn't be seen as one of my loved ones?

You're telling me that I shouldn't love my mom anymore?!

That is a little extreme.

There is a big difference between accepting and wanting to tell other people about it. My dad accepted that I dressed in medieval clothes and went to SCA events just like he accepted he that I went to Trek costumes.

I know he never told anyone I did. My step mother only found out about it after they were married when I dropped by the house in garb to pick up my cooler I had loaned my dad..

Not accepting is telling you that it is wrong, you should stop blah blah.

If they don't do that then they have accepted it even if only as a lost cause.

 

[Aeolius]

My step mother only found out about it after they were married when I dropped by the house in garb to pick up my cooler I had loaned my dad.

You know, I was one of only a handful of students at my college that spent the entire day of Halloween in costume (SCA garb). I even took a Jack o'Lantern with me from class to class.

Mind you, I was spoiled. My first SCA event was Pennsic War, slugging down schnapps with Doglord Tantor.

 

[catsclaw227]

I recently asked the painting company owner why he lies to his wife about gaming. I mean, gaming is a very inexpensive hobby. You get tons of fun for your entertainment dollar. And, you're certainly not out doing anything that can get you into trouble as can sometimes happen at a bar or when playing pool or darts or the like.

It's good, wholesome, extremely fun, entertainment.

So the answer from my friend came, "I'm a 46 year old father of two. My wife is going to lose respect for me if she learns that I'm gaming. She just won't understand."

Well, there you have it.

See, I really don't get this. I am quite confident that she would understand EVEN LESS if she found out he has been lying to her for years and years, for two children... Her first thought would be, "What else has he been lying about for all these years..." The lying would end my marriage, for sure.

I am only up to page 6 here, but in my experience, some of the gamer-shame might come from when you started gaming. If you started in late 70's early 80's the geekiness of it got you beat up in school, or ostracized at least. Luckily for me, I was a chameleon. I had nerd friends, hippie/guitar-in-the-quad friends, jock friends and the cheerleaders thought I was a little cutie (in a friend kind of way).

As I got older, I learned that I didn't really have to hide it, but I didn't advertise it. Then, even later, into my 30's and now into my 40's, I still don't advertise, but I don't make a bones about my hobbies. I am also a raging Pittsburgh Steeler fan - since I was 6 years old when I learned about football.

My first wife and my current wife aren't gamers but they accept it in me and I told them about it while dating - I couldn't hide something from them that I liked so much.

Now, if a friend posted a pic of me at the D&D table on Facebook, it would bother me, since I am not the kind of Facebooker that shares every little thing about themselves. I do like some of my privacy. For me, Facebook is for pics of my family and daughter, saying hi to old high-school and college friends and maybe posting some work-related topical item.

My current employer doesn't know, only because I work from home, and it has never come up. My previous employer knew because I had my wife drop off some stuff for an afterwork game, and instead of just putting it in my car, she brought it up to me.

I am, like others, though, embarrassed by some of the other gamers I have met. Stinky, obnoxious, loud and generally socially-stunted, I don't hang out with or even like to play with these types, but they can give us a bad name.

My game group consists of four software/IT professionals, a semi-pro race car driver, a thrash metal musician who doubles as a librarian at a major educational institution and a paramedic. Go figure...

 

[One90proof]

After a 20 year hiatus, I started gaming again this past November. Gamer shame (and girls) stopped me from playing when I was a teen. When I recently rediscovered my passion for RPGs I very quickly decided that I would NOT be embarrassed about my hobby or try to hide it from anyone.

If it comes up in conversation and people ask questions, I enjoy helping them understand what RPGs are all about and encourage them to try playing one.

When encountering closed minded people that try to belittle me for my hobby, I put on my +3 to Verbal Smackdown Wizard Hat and sarcastically humiliate them until they degrade into a puddle of tears.