Ashamed of being a Gamer?


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catsclaw227

First Post
Quite a few gamers (and geeks in general) are on the autism spectrum, me and most my family included. Being loud or having no social life just happens to be part of it for a lot of us. I have no social life other than gaming and a few cat related contacts. My husband is loud, and I'm sure a lot of people would consider him obnoxious, but he can't control the volume of his voice, he never could, despite years of vocal training. We have 2 players with tourette syndrome, one who constantly laughs or breaks out in song and one who keeps repeating what everyone else said over and over. My cousin who I get most of my published adventures from has a sneezing tick. Myself, I talk to myself a lot when I'm going through my notes or books and I guess that irritates some people as well. At least my husband tells me to shut up when I talk on the computer too much while preparing stuff. None of the mentioned reads body language well or uses it correctly.
I suppose I was talking about a different kind of person. As a matter of fact, we are concerned that our daughter has a mild form of Asperger's, but we won't know until she ages a bit more.

I was talking about the person that doesn't shower and doesn't care, may be smart, but acts like he/she is smarter than others. Knowingly insults and degrades people when he/she themselves are majorly socially lacking, and when approached either gently or more directly, smugly brushes people off and then talks about them behind their back. Smelly, obnoxious, loud and rude.

I can think of two at our FLGS that have driven out potential customers and gamers.

It is not difficult to confuse this person with one that may have an autism spectrum disorder.
 

catsclaw227

First Post
I don't think that being unwilling to share the nature of an activity that you're spending several hours a week doing is an indicator of a healthy relationship....

I am confused... I think you are saying that not sharing that you are gaming is unhealthy? Or are you saying that being unwilling might be OK?

(I struggle with parsing multiple positives and negatives in a sentence...) :p
 

Lwaxy

Cute but dangerous
Yeah true, that's the type of person I remove from my games. I suppose something is mentally wrong with them but if they don't make an effort... I'm not a social worker ;)
 

TheYeti1775

Adventurer
Embrassed, not in the least.

Ex-wife knows.
Son knows.
All of my regular bartendars know. And several of them are hot.
Some of my co-workers know, at least one of my bosses does as well.
People doing background checks on me know.

There was a time in my life I worried about social stigma's anymore I just screw it, I am who I am.

I refer to my Friday nights as my geek night to any one that asks what plans I have.
After the initial "Geek Night what's that?", I just say "I go play D&D and other Role-playing Games."
It isn't a big deal, cause honestly they aren't worth my time if they don't want to associate with me because of it. Heck it's even started a few interesting conversations. One of the hot bartendar's thought it was the sexual role-playing too the first time I mentioned it.
 

freeAgent

Explorer
I don't hide my gaming, but I don't evangelize a whole lot. There are photos of me gaming on Facebook which all of my friends and coworkers (and boss) can see. It doesn't really bother me and I don't understand what makes playing an RPG all that different from doing any other activity with my free time.

If someone has a problem with me gaming, that's their issue. I introduced my girlfriend to TTRPGs, and now it's something she looks forward to it whenever my group gets together. Honestly, playing RPGs is something I'm fairly proud of. I might even bring it up in a job interview when asked about my interests and hobbies. I work as a consultant, and problem-solving and analytical abilities are things they look for. If someone disqualified me for a job based on playing an RPG, then I wouldn't be interested in working for them.
 

Rel

Liquid Awesome
I am confused... I think you are saying that not sharing that you are gaming is unhealthy? Or are you saying that being unwilling might be OK?

(I struggle with parsing multiple positives and negatives in a sentence...) :p

Yeah that was a pretty crappy sentence, huh?

Hiding what you're doing = bad. How's that? ;)
 

gamerprinter

Mapper/Publisher
But gambling is an "adult" thing, while anything just games unless palyed with the kids is seen as childish.

Hey, maybe we need to include gambling into our games. "I bet you by ranger lasts to level 7..."

Well gambling away your kids college money may be an adult thing, but it's also a marriage ending thing. I think letting your spouse know about your gaming habits, might seem childish. But childish is better than the idea that your spending your family money in gambling - and not that anybody said you're gambling, but if you're playing poker and not gambling, what the heck are you doing? (Strip poker with your friends??!! That's probably worse too!)

And really is your spouse so dumb, that they don't really know what you're doing. Grow some cajones and tell your spouse the truth.
 
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Lwaxy

Cute but dangerous
Hehe yeah no arguing with that.

I bet any wife who learns husband just blew 10k on gabling games would prefer them to do RPGs instead ;)
 

saskganesh

First Post
When I was a teenager, I would get ridiculed and then punched for playing the game. However, that's unlikely to happen anymore, so it's no longer a factor.

Now I've never had any sort of RPG blowback at work, but then I usually talk hockey or movies or music or whatever common ground there may be. If it's that kind of workplace, I'll talk politics. Or religion. But really, RPG's are pretty far down the totem poll in terms of what to talk about.

Socially, a lot of my friends are gamers, or former gamers. Gaming will come up a bit more often. I'm open but it still leads to misunderstandings. When I mentioned "D&D" to an old friend, he thought it was some sort of sex kink. That was amusing.

My brother and his wife have a different experience. He is in a profession dominated by older, conservative individuals and so he is concerned about career impacts about being a "gamer". And both of them are worried about stupid reactions from their kid's friends' parents. So they keep a tight ship.
 

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