Attacks of Opportunity are ruining D&D!!

[Zweihänder]

My deadbeat Attack of Opportunity refuses to pay child support for the two little Great Cleaves he left me with!

 

[Starman]

*Staggers into scene*

"Soylant Green is made of Attacks of Opportunity! Soylant Green is Attacks of Opportunity!"

*Moans and staggers out of scene*

 

[Bryon_Soulweaver]

Why are you people being so mean!? AoO is my friend! He gave me all these neat magical items. Like this sword, it can take the soul of anything it slays. And this armor! Oh, those pile of wands? I got those for Christmas.

 

[sniffles]

I have heard that if you perform too many Attacks of Opportunity that you will go blind!

I thought too many Attacks of Opportunity would cause you to grow hair on the palms of your hands?

 

[reveal]

I thought too many Attacks of Opportunity would cause you to grow hair on the palms of your hands?

You don't provoke an AoO for entering a threatened area.

 

[diaglo]

Grognard: "We had AoO back in our day too. We didn't call them that. We just did them and that was that. I had my bow drawn; you ran thru my range increment; and i took my attacks on you. I set my longer spear to receive a charge... and you skewered yourself. I beat the magic user in initiative and i ruined his spell. Bah... call Shellshocked what it is... not Combat Fatigue... not something Stress Disorder... bah..."

 

[Ranger REG]

Bah! AoO is nothing but Opportunity Fire in many wargames older than OD&D.

--old-school wargamer.

 

[diaglo]

Bah! AoO is nothing but Opportunity Fire in many wargames older than OD&D.

--old-school wargamer.

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

 

[Ranger REG]

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

You new-school roleplayers are a bunch of wussies. In the old days, me and diaglo were playing with LEAD miniatures without concern for our health. And what do we have now? PEW-ters and Plastics. Be glad they're not paper you could get a cut. Whoo!

<Mockingly Whines> "But I don't like complicated ship-to-ship combat rules! Too long and too slow!"

Bah! Unless you have overreacted bladder control like us game geezers, you learn them like I learned Rolemaster combat spreadsheets and critical tables.

You think your new generation have to get it easy at our back-breaking expense, you messing with the wrong geriatrics.

 

[Remathilis]

Attacks of Oppertunity Killed my inner child.