Abstraction
First Post
Bront said:
Shattered your had? Boy I hope that isn't a typo for head. If it is, you are getting on remarkably well.
Because I'm old(er) and I don't care anymore
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Shattered your had? Boy I hope that isn't a typo for head. If it is, you are getting on remarkably well.
Tarrasque Wrangler
First Post
High school for me was a wonderland of petty thievery and vandalism. If I hadn't had one of those faces adults just wanted to believe, I'm sure I would have been summarily expelled for some of the crap I pulled. As it was, I didn't get so much as a suspension.
Junior year I was paired up in English class with my dark twin Jarrod. Jarrod was one of the most devoted teenage subversives I've ever met, and we constantly goaded each other on. Our English teacher was a Grade-A clueless dingbat, and we took advantage every chance we got to practice our mischief skills. We sat in the back of the class, naturally, and we'd had a lot of fun with the wall back there. We'd kept up a graffiti conversation with a girl who had the class at a different time, and we'd made a kind of solidified sludge in the chalkboard tray behind us out of instant coffee and various sodas.
One day we had a substitute who was a campus regular, this mousy yet vile woman named Mrs. Katz. She puts on a movie for us and promptly leaves the room. Hell ensues. People talking, people making out, etc. For some reason I decide it'd be a great idea to get out my Zippo lighter and liquify that sludge in the tray behind us. I think we were going to paint with it. I light it up under the tray like it's a burner on a stove, Jarrod and I giggling the whole time., when all of a sudden I hear this shriek: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" I whip around and there's Katz. Creating the only light in the entire room (movie on, remember?) made me stand out like a sore thumb. She takes the lighter from me and marches me down to the school office, where she explains that I was trying to "burn the school down".
I'm sent into the vice principal's office and I'm pretty scared. He looks at the lighter and asks me if I smoke. "Nope." Then why do I have a lighter? "Useful tool?" All of a sudden a lightbulb went on over my head. Our graffiti wall had recently been scrubbed, and while our teacher couldn't prove it had been us who did it, she did make it our responsibility to make sure no more graffiti magically appeared. So I told the vice principal that, and said that Jarrod had thought he'd seen some new graffiti on the wall in the dark, and we wanted to make sure there was something there. So I'd used my lighter to make a little light to see by. Pure American bullplop.
So of course, he bought it hook, line and sinker. I didn't have a reputation as a "trouble" kid, and teachers and administrators always kinda liked me for some reason. So the v.p. gives me back my lighter with an admonishment not to bring it to school anymore, and sends me back to class. You should have seen the look on Katz's face when I cruised back in grinning.
So I'm not sure any of that was embarrassing, but it did frickin' rule. Here's one that was all egg on my face, though.
Later that year, I was about a week away from Prom: tickets purchased, tux rented, dinner reserved, girlfriend asked out. I had already heard about a couple of "undesirables" who'd been kicked out ahead of time for getting in trouble at school, so I figured some line-toeing might be in order and decided to cut back on my fun until this Prom thing blew over. But I was getting antsy.
One day our history teacher brought in a sack of oranges from his tree to share with the class. Everyone took one, and of course I went for the nastiest, mutant-looking orange in the sack. I had no intention of eating it.
I found Jarrod after class on our morning break, and being disciples of Beavis and Butthead, we decided to play some "orange baseball". Jarrod found some hefty stick to serve as a bat and I pitched. Now, for some reason, of all the possible ways we could have been standing, he decides to stand with his back to a window, so my strike zone is the building behind him. I had a pretty strong arm back then, but my control was lacking, and this orange was seriously oblong. This thing goes sailing over his head and right through my Trig teacher's window with an explosive shattering sound.
Every head in our mini-quad looked over at me, mortified. A campus security woman ("narc") appeared out of nowhere screaming like a banshee, "Who did that! Who was it!" Everyone just started laughing hysterically. I threw up my hands and backed away, calmly saying "I did that. My bad," but inside I'm thinking holy crap, they're gonna take Prom away from me.
So the narc runs up to me and asks me why I threw that at a window. I said, completely straightfacedly, that Jarrod had wanted the orange so I tossed it to him (note: not strictly a lie), but my toss went wide. I omitted that I had gone into this perfect pitcher's windup and the toss was more like a split-fingered fastorange. The narc says building maintenance will fix it, and then walks off to tell another vice principal. And that was it in terms of discipline, except for the really embarrasing part: I now had to go to my Trig class (it was my next class of the day), and explain in front of my kindly old teacher and the entire class that I had shattered the window with an orange. It was like they couldn't come up with nicknames and jokes fast enough. "OJ" was my favorite.
Junior year I was paired up in English class with my dark twin Jarrod. Jarrod was one of the most devoted teenage subversives I've ever met, and we constantly goaded each other on. Our English teacher was a Grade-A clueless dingbat, and we took advantage every chance we got to practice our mischief skills. We sat in the back of the class, naturally, and we'd had a lot of fun with the wall back there. We'd kept up a graffiti conversation with a girl who had the class at a different time, and we'd made a kind of solidified sludge in the chalkboard tray behind us out of instant coffee and various sodas.
One day we had a substitute who was a campus regular, this mousy yet vile woman named Mrs. Katz. She puts on a movie for us and promptly leaves the room. Hell ensues. People talking, people making out, etc. For some reason I decide it'd be a great idea to get out my Zippo lighter and liquify that sludge in the tray behind us. I think we were going to paint with it. I light it up under the tray like it's a burner on a stove, Jarrod and I giggling the whole time., when all of a sudden I hear this shriek: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" I whip around and there's Katz. Creating the only light in the entire room (movie on, remember?) made me stand out like a sore thumb. She takes the lighter from me and marches me down to the school office, where she explains that I was trying to "burn the school down".
I'm sent into the vice principal's office and I'm pretty scared. He looks at the lighter and asks me if I smoke. "Nope." Then why do I have a lighter? "Useful tool?" All of a sudden a lightbulb went on over my head. Our graffiti wall had recently been scrubbed, and while our teacher couldn't prove it had been us who did it, she did make it our responsibility to make sure no more graffiti magically appeared. So I told the vice principal that, and said that Jarrod had thought he'd seen some new graffiti on the wall in the dark, and we wanted to make sure there was something there. So I'd used my lighter to make a little light to see by. Pure American bullplop.
So of course, he bought it hook, line and sinker. I didn't have a reputation as a "trouble" kid, and teachers and administrators always kinda liked me for some reason. So the v.p. gives me back my lighter with an admonishment not to bring it to school anymore, and sends me back to class. You should have seen the look on Katz's face when I cruised back in grinning.
So I'm not sure any of that was embarrassing, but it did frickin' rule. Here's one that was all egg on my face, though.
Later that year, I was about a week away from Prom: tickets purchased, tux rented, dinner reserved, girlfriend asked out. I had already heard about a couple of "undesirables" who'd been kicked out ahead of time for getting in trouble at school, so I figured some line-toeing might be in order and decided to cut back on my fun until this Prom thing blew over. But I was getting antsy.
One day our history teacher brought in a sack of oranges from his tree to share with the class. Everyone took one, and of course I went for the nastiest, mutant-looking orange in the sack. I had no intention of eating it.
I found Jarrod after class on our morning break, and being disciples of Beavis and Butthead, we decided to play some "orange baseball". Jarrod found some hefty stick to serve as a bat and I pitched. Now, for some reason, of all the possible ways we could have been standing, he decides to stand with his back to a window, so my strike zone is the building behind him. I had a pretty strong arm back then, but my control was lacking, and this orange was seriously oblong. This thing goes sailing over his head and right through my Trig teacher's window with an explosive shattering sound.
Every head in our mini-quad looked over at me, mortified. A campus security woman ("narc") appeared out of nowhere screaming like a banshee, "Who did that! Who was it!" Everyone just started laughing hysterically. I threw up my hands and backed away, calmly saying "I did that. My bad," but inside I'm thinking holy crap, they're gonna take Prom away from me.
So the narc runs up to me and asks me why I threw that at a window. I said, completely straightfacedly, that Jarrod had wanted the orange so I tossed it to him (note: not strictly a lie), but my toss went wide. I omitted that I had gone into this perfect pitcher's windup and the toss was more like a split-fingered fastorange. The narc says building maintenance will fix it, and then walks off to tell another vice principal. And that was it in terms of discipline, except for the really embarrasing part: I now had to go to my Trig class (it was my next class of the day), and explain in front of my kindly old teacher and the entire class that I had shattered the window with an orange. It was like they couldn't come up with nicknames and jokes fast enough. "OJ" was my favorite.
howandwhy99
Adventurer
This one I've never told anyone else as it is very embarrassing. Generally I'd rather not come off as stupid to anyone I know in real life, but online is a little different. 
=-=-
In college I took a semester in DC at a university as an elective from my home school. Near the end, one of the other semester seminar groups returned from a country in Africa or the Caribbean, I forget which. From it I met a really attractive girl from Hawaii. Unfortunately only a few days were left before school ended, so we were only starting to get acquainted.
On the last evening in DC a big group of my friends and a group of hers all went out to party in either Adams Morgan or Georgetown (somewhere with plenty of clubs). She must have been playing hard to get, but I played it cool and talked to her friend who was also pretty attactive. I was only trying to be nice, but her friend seemed very interested in what I was saying.
The rest of my friends wanted to go, (as it was a spanish dance club & only the Hawaiian girl was dancing with the regulars). So I was pulled out of that conversation and all of us met on the sidewalk outside as we decided on where to go next.
While waiting another friend of mine casually started talking to me. It was innocent enough, but she happened to be female and this had a definite effect. The Hawaiian girl and her roommate, the other I was talking to, flagged down a taxi to go home. They were pretty mad without explaining why, so I offered to travel with them. They were still angry but relented for some reason (now I know), so I hopped in. Of course... all our friends came along too as no one else could think of a place to go so late. A second taxi was actually needed in the end. Both were packed full.
On the way back the group decided to stop and get some coffee and ice cream (DC has a great nightlife BTW) and then walk back home (about a mile). Things sort of worked themselves out on the walk home and the original reason for leaving was forgotten (meaning it was never brought up). All in all it was a pretty fun night. Sort of tame all around for a semester-ending bash, but it was two groups of people who were meeting for the first time.
When we got back to campus I split off from all the others to enter my dorm. Oddly everyone else lived in the big res. hall. Only the Hawaiian girl stopped me. She put her arms around me to kiss me good night. I was embarrassed as the whole group was watching. And she whispers in my ear, "Why don't you have breakfast with me and my roommate?"
Well of course, it was very late and I was tired, so I said no I just couldn't be up by breakfast time. (8-9:30) And I went back to my room to fall asleep.
=-=-=-
Long story short, I was kicking myself for the next week. (didn't see either again)
=-=-
In college I took a semester in DC at a university as an elective from my home school. Near the end, one of the other semester seminar groups returned from a country in Africa or the Caribbean, I forget which. From it I met a really attractive girl from Hawaii. Unfortunately only a few days were left before school ended, so we were only starting to get acquainted.
On the last evening in DC a big group of my friends and a group of hers all went out to party in either Adams Morgan or Georgetown (somewhere with plenty of clubs). She must have been playing hard to get, but I played it cool and talked to her friend who was also pretty attactive. I was only trying to be nice, but her friend seemed very interested in what I was saying.
The rest of my friends wanted to go, (as it was a spanish dance club & only the Hawaiian girl was dancing with the regulars). So I was pulled out of that conversation and all of us met on the sidewalk outside as we decided on where to go next.
While waiting another friend of mine casually started talking to me. It was innocent enough, but she happened to be female and this had a definite effect. The Hawaiian girl and her roommate, the other I was talking to, flagged down a taxi to go home. They were pretty mad without explaining why, so I offered to travel with them. They were still angry but relented for some reason (now I know), so I hopped in. Of course... all our friends came along too as no one else could think of a place to go so late. A second taxi was actually needed in the end. Both were packed full.
On the way back the group decided to stop and get some coffee and ice cream (DC has a great nightlife BTW) and then walk back home (about a mile). Things sort of worked themselves out on the walk home and the original reason for leaving was forgotten (meaning it was never brought up). All in all it was a pretty fun night. Sort of tame all around for a semester-ending bash, but it was two groups of people who were meeting for the first time.
When we got back to campus I split off from all the others to enter my dorm. Oddly everyone else lived in the big res. hall. Only the Hawaiian girl stopped me. She put her arms around me to kiss me good night. I was embarrassed as the whole group was watching. And she whispers in my ear, "Why don't you have breakfast with me and my roommate?"
Well of course, it was very late and I was tired, so I said no I just couldn't be up by breakfast time. (8-9:30) And I went back to my room to fall asleep.
=-=-=-
Long story short, I was kicking myself for the next week. (didn't see either again)
Last edited:
Ralts Bloodthorne
First Post
Tried to swing in a window wearing nothing but a Batman cape and cowl, and slammed into the wall and fell into the rosebushes.
Grabbed a girl's butt in the supermarket who was wearing the same pants and shirt as my girlfriend. It wasn't my girlfriend, she wasn't amused, and it was there that I discovered pepper spray in the eyes stings.
Grabbed a girl's butt in the supermarket who was wearing the same pants and shirt as my girlfriend. It wasn't my girlfriend, she wasn't amused, and it was there that I discovered pepper spray in the eyes stings.
When I was 14, I managed to set the carpet on fire in my bedroom. I had read an article on injection molding of plastic and thought that I could reproduce the process and make my own dice using tools from the garage and kitchen. The experiment was a failure.
Getting kicked out of six classes as a senior in High School for fighting with a teacher I think was one of the highlights of being young and stupid.
The other highlight was being 19 and believing that if a girl tells you that she will marry you, that she means it and doesn't just want you to get her pregnant so she can get out of the army. I think that one was the all-time high for me being young and stupid.
I know, I'm a downer. My mistakes weren't so much embarrassing as they were painful.
Getting kicked out of six classes as a senior in High School for fighting with a teacher I think was one of the highlights of being young and stupid.
The other highlight was being 19 and believing that if a girl tells you that she will marry you, that she means it and doesn't just want you to get her pregnant so she can get out of the army. I think that one was the all-time high for me being young and stupid.
I know, I'm a downer. My mistakes weren't so much embarrassing as they were painful.
krichaiushii
First Post
I was ... 19 or 20, and in order to impress a girl, I got a rather large tattoo on my calf.
A tattoo of Tom Servo of MST3K fame.
Suffice it to say, she was not impressed.
But that didn't stop me from trying to "make things work".
I figured a dinner-and-movie date might make up for the tattoo faux pas.
At the time this was happening, THE movie everyone was talking about was Schindler's List. Only I didn't pay attention to the descriptions of it, only that it was a good movie.
And it was (and is) a good movie. Only not a good DATE movie.
I do miss college sometimes...
A tattoo of Tom Servo of MST3K fame.
Suffice it to say, she was not impressed.
But that didn't stop me from trying to "make things work".
I figured a dinner-and-movie date might make up for the tattoo faux pas.
At the time this was happening, THE movie everyone was talking about was Schindler's List. Only I didn't pay attention to the descriptions of it, only that it was a good movie.
And it was (and is) a good movie. Only not a good DATE movie.
I do miss college sometimes...
ForceUser
Explorer
I've done some colossally stupid things in my time, but one of the stupidest was the night my buddy Jeremy and I, aged 20 and 18 respectively, gunned his '86 Mustang LX 5.0 down a deserted 2-lane road in backcountry Louisiana doing over 140 mph. The speed limit was 30 mph. When we saw headlights coming toward us, I joked to Jeremy how funny it would be if the approaching vehicle was a cop.
Turns out, it was a cop.
At this point, Jeremy starts slowing down. I recall screaming at him something to the effect of "You're driving 110 mph over the speed limit, without a valid license, and with expired tags and no insurance. If you get pulled over, you're going to jail."
So he gunned it. Since the cop had to slow down, flip a U-turn, then accelerate to catch us, I knew we had a good chance of dusting him. I was right, fortunately. We lost him. Jeremy, of course, was so freaked out by the whole thing that he had to spill the beans to his girlfriend, who naturally ripped him to shreds verbally for being such a fool.
Amazingly, alcohol wasn't involved. Just pure adolescent male stupidity.
Turns out, it was a cop.
At this point, Jeremy starts slowing down. I recall screaming at him something to the effect of "You're driving 110 mph over the speed limit, without a valid license, and with expired tags and no insurance. If you get pulled over, you're going to jail."
So he gunned it. Since the cop had to slow down, flip a U-turn, then accelerate to catch us, I knew we had a good chance of dusting him. I was right, fortunately. We lost him. Jeremy, of course, was so freaked out by the whole thing that he had to spill the beans to his girlfriend, who naturally ripped him to shreds verbally for being such a fool.
Amazingly, alcohol wasn't involved. Just pure adolescent male stupidity.
Shemeska
Adventurer
My senior prom, 1997.
1) While driving towards the restaurant, I took the wrong exit. The next 5 exits were all 'exit only' and not knowing the roads I didn't dare take them and get lost. Forty minutes later we got to the restaurant, and being so nervous, I took the only spot I saw and parked so close to the other car that my date had to get out of the car on the drivers side. I was probably under an inch from the other car, and it's luck that I didn't hit it.
2) We get to the prom, which was being held in a science museum (yes, you heard me right). We spent around an hour making out in the apollo space capsule before we got caught because the windows fogged. *chuckle*
....
Same girlfriend, later that year. Stupid at the time, would have been more stupid had we gotten caught. Went all the way with her mother passed out less than four feet away on the other side of the room. I was young, I was horny, and my girlfriend wanted it. Who was I to say no. God I was stupid back then.
1) While driving towards the restaurant, I took the wrong exit. The next 5 exits were all 'exit only' and not knowing the roads I didn't dare take them and get lost. Forty minutes later we got to the restaurant, and being so nervous, I took the only spot I saw and parked so close to the other car that my date had to get out of the car on the drivers side. I was probably under an inch from the other car, and it's luck that I didn't hit it.
2) We get to the prom, which was being held in a science museum (yes, you heard me right). We spent around an hour making out in the apollo space capsule before we got caught because the windows fogged. *chuckle*
....
Same girlfriend, later that year. Stupid at the time, would have been more stupid had we gotten caught. Went all the way with her mother passed out less than four feet away on the other side of the room. I was young, I was horny, and my girlfriend wanted it. Who was I to say no. God I was stupid back then.
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