Best Conan Wannabe?

[Tarrasque Wrangler]

What is best in life? Watching Conan the Barbarian, of course!

But sometimes the Cable God frowns upon us and punishes his flock with one of the many blond, over-muscled Cimmerian wannabes. Which ones are cool, and which should be driven before you?

 

[Mark]

Hercules/Kull?

 

[Villano]

Man, there are so many Italian Conan rip-offs to choose from, but I'll have to go with my boy Ator.

Honorable mention goes to Deathstalker for having that cool boar man and the voice of Cy-Kill as the evil wizard, as well as Conquest for just being a weird blend of Conan, Quest For Fire, and a Frazetta painting. The movie's cool, but, as for the hero, well, I can't even remember his name.

Oh, and don't forget Yor and his hang gliding on a giant bat corpse.

 

[Krieg]

Thundarr because he managed to rip-off Conan and Star Wars!

Plus he got to ride in a dune buggy!

 

[demiurge1138]

Ator. But only because his sidekick is Thong. Best goofy inexplicable Asian sidekick in a sword and sandals movie, hands down. Of course, he might be the only one... but hey. And the hanglider is ridiculous. As is the Evil John Saxon Guy.

Demiurge out.

 

[Mog Elffoe]

Here's another vote for Thundarr The Barbarian!

Character designs by Jack Kirby, Alex Toth, AND Frank Frazetta?
Count me in!

 

[Tarrasque Wrangler]

Wow, a dead heat amongst all four poll choices. I still say Ator's the man though. I mean, look at what he's got going for him:

1. Asian sidekick.
2. Secret of gunpowder.
3. The Shroud, er, I mean Sword of Turin.
4. Can build hangliders, and doesn't need no stupid bat carcass to do it neither.
5. Is played by Miles O'Keeffe, who (all apologies to Marc Singer and Dolph Lungren) is the Laurence Olivier of movies where bad guys get impaled on things.

 

[Swoop109]

I had to vote for Beastmaster for one simple reason.

TANYA ROBERTS!

 

[Tonguez]

I had to vote for Beastmaster for one simple reason.

TANYA ROBERTS!

ah yes that scene fuelled many of my adolescent fantasies - oh to be a teenage boy again

axtually I would have voted for Tarl Cabot of Gor if given the option...

 

[Orius]

Voted other, for the Scorpion King. Ok, he might not be a cable staple, like say the Beastmaster, but that's a great cheesy barbarian movie. You've got a good setting, a hot babe, some great fight sequences, and some fairly memorable lines.

As for Beastmaster, I'd rank it right under Scorpion King. Pretty good barbarian movie, but some of the shots look horribly bad, and why the hell did they paint the tiger black?