Indeed, especially in the first one when the movie goes out of its way to acknowledge what a jerk stark is. Hell even as late as Spider-Man: far from home, the villain is generated as a result of Tony has been in the past.
contrast that with Scarlet Witch in wandavision. She holds an entire town hostage, and exposes them to effectively torture (as confirmed with Monica rambeau’s report). And yet Monica goes out of her way to defend Wanda from Sword and even defends Wanda to the town, saying “they don’t know what you have been through”
At no point does Wanda suffer consequences for her actions, nor does she really show remorse for what she did.
Black Widow is similar. At no point are her criminal acts mentioned by others or put in any negative light (such as killing every single person in that prison through the avalanche), she is the protagonist and therefore all acts are justified.
now plenty of movies use that trope…but Ironman did not, hence why you see people calling it out on one and not the other