Bonding between DM and Player

[Bullgrit]

If a player showed such a lack of trust in me that he handed me his character sheet after a campaign twist, particularly a player who I thought would have a great time with something like that, I'd take it, tell him I understand that we have a style conflict, politely show him the door and fill his spot with the next player on the waiting list.

I've read comments like this many times on this forum. It seems that some people here (especially DMs) have no personal friendship with the Players in their game. They can say hello and goodbye to the Players like dealing with strangers on the street.

Although I have dropped Players from a game group, and I've left game groups as a Player, after the first couple or so game sessions I tend to form at least a little bond with my fellow players. Usually, if there is a problem with play styles, it's apparent within the very first 1-3 game sessions. Leaving or dismissing in that time is not difficult. But after playing with someone for a while, if a problem crops up, we all tend to try to work it out rather than dismissing the player or group.

I can't imagine regularly playing with a DM who was so socially disconnected from his fellow players that he would/could casually "show them the door" and bring in someone else that easily. I can't imagine a DM who would not form some kind of friendly bond with the Players. This almost sounds anti-social.

Is this kind of no-bond situation common or the rare exception?

Bullgrit

 

[Crothian]

Everyone in the group are friends. WE just happened to have met each other through gaming. We all know each other's wives and husband and kids. We try to have cook outs and zoo days with the families so there is more of a bond.

 

[Fallen Seraph]

My players are my friends and playing roleplaying games is just the same as going to the movies, hanging out, playing video-games, etc. Heck when we play roleplaying games it is fairly certain that such things will also happen.

Like you know, play some roleplaying, take a break get some dinner and play some video-games/watch a movie while eating, back to some gaming, etc. All the while doing normal socializing.

 

[Rechan]

For the most part, it's a 'gaming friendship'. It's hard to meet them outside of the game, what with busy schedules. But for me, gaming is partly about the socialization in the first place, so people in person I game with, I certainly have much better relationship/rappore than coworkers.

 

[CernunnosX]

I started playing with the same set of guys I do now about fourteen years ago. I think we were casual friends then, but grew closer over the years of on and off gaming (three are standing in my upcoming wedding and another is officiating the proceedings) . I think its cool that we're all friends because it really gets us a good group dynamic going when we game, there's always a lot of laughter and everyone really has a good time. It makes it easier for me to build adventures and campaign worlds that everyone will enjoy as well.

It's also a bit of a pain in the butt that we've been gaming together for so long. We all know the tricks, tics, and tells of each other. I have to be crafty as heck to put a surprise into an adventure. But then I guess the difficulty kind of spurs me on and when I do manage to put something they didn't see coming into a plotline it kind of gives me a bit of satisfaction.

 

[Khairn]

Although I have dropped Players from a game group, and I've left game groups as a Player, after the first couple or so game sessions I tend to form at least a little bond with my fellow players. Usually, if there is a problem with play styles, it's apparent within the very first 1-3 game sessions. Leaving or dismissing in that time is not difficult. But after playing with someone for a while, if a problem crops up, we all tend to try to work it out rather than dismissing the player or group.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[Bumbles]

Can it not be a mix?

There are some people who are friends. Some who are merely fellow role-players passing upon a train...

 

[darjr]

I have no problem playing with strangers. It becomes difficult to remain strangers. I play at cons and RPGA after all.

My current DM is a dear friend, she and her husband were in my wedding many years ago. Still, I think, we could live and let live and differ as gamers and still be friends if it came to that. I hope it never does. I love gaming with them.

 

[I'm A Banana]

I primarily like to play with friends, and close friends make up some portion of every game I play, but I'm not shy about reaching abroad for more new folks that I don't know as well. We can become friends through play, but I do hang out with most of my friends beyond a D&D context, so hanging out isn't about D&D as much as it is about hanging out.

 

[Lanefan]

Most of the time, someone has to already be my friend (or highly recommended by one) before they get in my game. The game then becomes a significant aspect of the friendship from there.

That said, people come and people go, either through life changes, attitude changes, whatever...but the game goes on.

Lanefan