Businesses saying keep the rowdy children at home.

[Darth K'Trava]

Probably so. You're a great example to us all, Thornir. Unfortunately, I don't do "gentle reminders" very well.

Only if the "gentle reminder" is the judicious usage of a Louisville Slugger applied to one's cranium at a "not so gentle" velocity.....

 

[sniffles]

I wish I could take up Thornir's style, but unfortunately I was born without a "mom" gene. I'd rather they hand me their pet tarantula than ask me to handle a kid. :\

 

[Lonely Tylenol]

Bring back public stocks and rotten vegatables!

I agree - public shaming is very underutilized - I love this story:

http://www.newsok.com/article/1671313/

~ OO

I think that the only lesson this kid is going to learn is that her mother is a sick puppy who enjoys torture. I can't imagine she'll look back on this in 10 years with anything but resentment. I also can't imagine her not throwing her mom into the worst nursing home she can find at the earliest opportunity and never coming back.

Bad crap only begets bad crap. If you humiliate someone, they don't improve. They only get humiliated on top of everything else that's wrong with them.

 

[Warrior Poet]

I think that the only lesson this kid is going to learn is that her mother is a sick puppy who enjoys torture. I can't imagine she'll look back on this in 10 years with anything but resentment. I also can't imagine her not throwing her mom into the worst nursing home she can find at the earliest opportunity and never coming back.

Bad crap only begets bad crap. If you humiliate someone, they don't improve. They only get humiliated on top of everything else that's wrong with them.

I didn't read the story Old One posted, so I can't comment on that. My support of public shaming wasn't in the context of stocks and pillories and that sort of thing, it was what sniffles talked about, i.e. calling people on their crap in a manner such that they are taken outside themselves for a moment to recognize a behavior they can amend.

The prime example has already been cited several times on this thread: "Sir, or Ma'am, your child has rocketed straight past dreadful and achieved escape velocity into the beastly space. See to your offspring as a decent human would, and thereby make the world a better place for a few moments. I and my fellow coffee shop/airline flight/restaurant/movie theater patrons thank you."

Warrior Poet

 

[Old One]

I think that the only lesson this kid is going to learn is that her mother is a sick puppy who enjoys torture. I can't imagine she'll look back on this in 10 years with anything but resentment. I also can't imagine her not throwing her mom into the worst nursing home she can find at the earliest opportunity and never coming back.

Bad crap only begets bad crap. If you humiliate someone, they don't improve. They only get humiliated on top of everything else that's wrong with them.

*shrugs*

My support of public condemnation and shaming is a bit tongue in cheek, but only a bit. There have been a number of times that I have been "humiliated" in front of peers and/or the general public by an authority figure (including parents) to teach a specific point or lesson. I still love my mother and, as a general rule, respect those that called me out to get me headed on the right track. Sometimes kids - who really don't know it all - need a bucket of cold water thrown on them. It's a quick shock, they are wet for a while and it gets their attention.

Is something like what was noted in the article torture? I don't think so, if used (very) sparingly. But I also happen to think that much of the "don't injure their fragile self-esteem" psycho-babble approach to education, sports and child-rearing today is crap. I think it turns out a bunch of self-indulgent, self-absorbed, panty-waste prima-donnas that have absolutely no coping skills for failure and adversity when they reach adulthood.

~ OO

 

[Rel]

Is something like what was noted in the article torture? I don't think so, if used (very) sparingly. But I also happen to think that much of the "don't injure their fragile self-esteem" psycho-babble approach to education, sports and child-rearing today is crap. I think it turns out a bunch of self-indulgent, self-absorbed, panty-waste prima-donnas that have absolutely no coping skills for failure and adversity when they reach adulthood.

~ OO

I agree completely and I've recently gotten a chance to see weak parenting in the process of producing a horrid child. It is not pretty.

I would absolutely resort to the methods that woman used if necessary. So long as you make the consequences clear up front ("if you do that again then this is what is going to happen") then I think that makes for a very solid lesson and one that will not soon be forgotten.

 

[BSF]

I think that the only lesson this kid is going to learn is that her mother is a sick puppy who enjoys torture. I can't imagine she'll look back on this in 10 years with anything but resentment. I also can't imagine her not throwing her mom into the worst nursing home she can find at the earliest opportunity and never coming back.

Bad crap only begets bad crap. If you humiliate someone, they don't improve. They only get humiliated on top of everything else that's wrong with them.

This is torture? We are talking a kid that is failing in school, refuses to do homework and is talking back to teachers. I've read some of the comments from the peanut gallery on this one. The one about "finding the child doing something good" is what cracks me up. The child is not doing something good, so where is the opportunity to provide positive reinforcement for good deeds? Sometimes you need to provide positive reinforcement that bad deeds will lead to bad results.

This child will not be capable of working in any environment I have worked in if she continues this behavior. She will be fired and will be lucky to hold down low paying, low opportunity jobs.

I agree that the shaming is a bit extreme, but sometimes you need to do something extreme to serve a point. This mother isn't torturing anybody. She is punishing her daughter and her daughter might think it a bit unfair. But success in our society is not predicated on backtalking failures holding down good jobs. If this child doesn't change her behavior, her mother won't need to worry about a good or bad nursing home. Her daughter won't have the means to provide even that.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Who's not allowing disruptive people in their places? You have people on cell phones talking loud, some places you have drunks, you have guys hanging around hitting on people....

Disruptive people are allowed in businesses all the time.

etc.

Restaraunts and all businesses have the right to refuse service to anyone. If they do it for reasons of gender, race, religion and similar reasons, its illegal.

If it is because someone is being disruptive, its not.

If a business chooses to remove or not remove a disruptive client, that's their business. I know that if they don't, I may not return.

This guy was trying to keep his restaraunt quiet. His space, as noted, has a tin roof- a perfect surface for reflecting sharp, loud noises. And a screaming child is nobody's idea of a "dining experience" enhancer to start off with.

Personal example:
I just took my mom to a fabric store last weekend and was clipped by a running, screaming butterball of a child- I nearly fell on him when he hit me in the back of the knee... the knee I had surgically repaired just a couple of years ago.

His mom sitting 20 ft away did nothing, said nothing. He continued running about the store (with other children) until closing.

The next time this happens, I may fall on him. If he re-injures my knee, his folks are paying for my medical bills and lost wages (which could be substantial- I'm an attorney...and the drugs I was on while in rehab from surgery made me functionally illiterate for almost a year- I couldn't read anything in normal sized print, like contracts, law books, etc.)

As for the public shaming thing...I have no problem with that.

All of my grandparents and my mother were teachers. My paternal grandfather in particular taught for something like 50 years in the New Orleans area, from grade school to college. He (and each of my other ancestors in question) have all used similar techniques in teaching AND in rearing their own kids.

And you know what? My dad's an MD, I'm a lawyer...and every time I went to New Orleans, I ran into people who told me things like:

"Your Grandfather humiliated the hell out of me when he threw me out of ___________ for ___________...but it got me thinking. It turned my life around!"

These people weren't ditch diggers- they were office managers for law firms, restaraunteurs, legislators and other successful men and women.

Embarrassment, used the right way, can be a powerful motivating tool.

 

[Desdichado]

I think that the only lesson this kid is going to learn is that her mother is a sick puppy who enjoys torture. I can't imagine she'll look back on this in 10 years with anything but resentment. I also can't imagine her not throwing her mom into the worst nursing home she can find at the earliest opportunity and never coming back.

Bad crap only begets bad crap. If you humiliate someone, they don't improve. They only get humiliated on top of everything else that's wrong with them.

?!

Do you have any kids, by any chance, or is this all hypothetical to you?

If you do, remind me never to meet them.

 

[Teflon Billy]

?!

Do you have any kids, by any chance, or is this all hypothetical to you?

If you do, remind me never to meet them.

Beat me to it.